Shattered Dreams--Lonely Choices: Birthparents of Babies with Disabilities Talk About Adoption [Hardcover]

Joanne Finnegan (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0897892860 | ISBN-13: 978-0897892865 | Publication Date: July 30, 1993 | Edition: 1

Dreams of pregnancy include the expectation that nine months of waiting will end with a joyous event. But, each year, a "shattered dream" occurs for thousands of couples who receive the news that their child will have a disabling condition severe enough that they may question if they are the best parents for their child. Societal expectation is that parents will raise their child or, if the condition of the child is detected prenatally, abortion is offered as an alternative. Parents who explore other options face scrutiny and, sometimes, condemnation--"lonely choices." Joanne Finnegan shares her personal experience and that of several families she interviewed who, like herself, explored options other than raising their child with a disability. Parents express with candor the overwhelming pain they felt when receiving "the news," the frustration when searching for options, the "no-win" feeling of decision making, the resolve with a final decision, and finally, life after the decision. Parent quotes also address issues such as spiritual dilemmas and interactions with friends, family, their other children, and medical professionals. Words of advice for new parents include how to build support systems and gather information, how to search for an adoptive family, and arranging the details of communication between adoptive and birth parents. Interviews with adoptive parents, poetry, and extensive resource lists complete the book. Written as a gift for other parents to help them cope with the pain and loneliness of decision making, this book will also be a valuable resource for medical professionals, adoption and social workers, counselors and spiritual advisors, and friends and family of the parents. It is a helpful as well as a deeply therapeutic book, providing a strong lesson in how to manage during this stressful time, from receiving "the news" about the baby's condition and prognosis, to weighing the factors involved in the various decisions. Should one take the baby home from the hospital? If not home, then where? Foster care, respite care, guardianship, and other forms of substitute care are mentioned. The author also examines decisions about finances and support services, family issues, finalizing an adoption plan, living with the decision, regrets, and future pregnancies.

Editorial Reviews

Review

“This book speaks with the voices of parents who have struggled through the darkness of despair, and now offer to parents, health professionals, and others an enormous insight into their pain. As a Genetic Counselor with over twenty years experience, I have seen that struggle many times and I respect the ability of families to appreciate their limits. This is a wonderful book to share with couples who face important decisions about their future.”–Jodi Klein Rucquoi, M.S. Senior Genetic Associate, Department of Genetics Yale University School of Medicine

“I love this much-needed book. It is informative, honest, extremely helpful, and hope-filled. The personal stories and wonderful poetry touch the heart. I will definitely recommend it.”–Sharon Kaplan-Roszia Adoption Specialist Parenting Resources

Book Description

A book written from the heart by a parent of a child with Down Syndrome to assist other parents considering adoption as an alternative to home care.

--This text refers to the Paperback edition.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 208 pages
• Publisher: Bergin & Garvey; 1 edition (July 30, 1993)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0897892860
• ISBN-13: 978-0897892865
• Product Dimensions: 9.6 x 6.4 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,898,719 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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