Customer Reviews

Shattered Dreams : God's Unexpected Pathway to Joy : Workbook

5 star:		(49)
4 star:		(10)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

With this book Crabb hopes to start a revolution. I am a little suspicious of anyone who actively tries to start a revolution. It seems to me that the people God used to start revolutions in the Bible wanted anything but to start a revolution. It seems that the main thing that qualifies someone to start a revolution is a reluctance to start said revolution.

Haivng said that, after revolutionaries are touched by God, they must move out. And maybe that is what has happened here - maybe this is the fruit of years of God's preparaiton of Crabb.

This book has some profound insights into the ways of God with man that could revolutionize the way we relate to God. I say "revolutionize" to say that this would change the way we think about God, pray to God and what we expect from God. In saying that, I don't mean to say that our life will suddenly become a bed of roses.

Shattered Dreams would make an interesting companion book to Desiring God by John Piper. Crabb says much the same thing that Piper says - our greatest joy is found in God, not from God. It has been several years since I read Desiring God but my recollection is that Piper seeks to foster our satisfaction in God by motivating us to pursue our pleasure in knowing God. Crabb, on the other hand, demonstrates how God fosters satisfaction and pleasure and passion in Him by stripping away all of the lesser pleasures of this earth.

IMHO the three most helpful insights that this book offers are:

1. The goal is that God be glorified in us, not that He be useful to us. Crabb says that we have taken the "Holy God of Passionate Wrath," and turned Him into the "Helpful God of Useful Principles." One thought that occurred to me in this regard is that Crabb makes the case that what we need to repent of is our desire for God to make us feel good and give us a sense of well-being. If this is the case, many probably need to re-examine their "salvation experience," since many in our day come to Christ because He has been presented to them as the "useful God." Come to Christ - He is useful to get you out of hell and into heaven, come to Christ, He is useful to give you a happy life, etc., etc.. Could it be that the Christ that many have allegedly "accepted" is not the Christ of the Bible, and could this explain why so many who have allegedly "accepted" Christ fall away? If nothing else, this insight from Crabb should cause all who name the name of Christ to re-examine their hearts to see what kind of "Christ" they are naming.

2. God is committed to bringing us the greatest joy possible, however such joy is only found in Him. Therefore, He allows, and even causes, us to have our most cherished dreams shattered in order that we will quit hoping in them and find our joy in Him.

3. Though we can now claim to be the bride of Christ, we live in the betrothal period of our relationship. The wedding feast of the lamb is yet to come - the relationship has not been consummated yet. Therefore, though we are secure in our relationship with Christ we cannot and will not ever feel as close to Him on earth as we long to. There is distance in the betrothal period that is not present once the wedding has taken place. God feels hidden from us because to a large extent He is hidden from us.

Also, Crabb makes some good points about how we treat people who are going through the agony of shattered dreams. We are usually quick to accept those who are suffering as long as they utter all of the proper pious platitudes - "yes, my life is in a shambles but I am trusting God in the midst of this and getting better day by day, all things work together for good to those who love God and are called according to His purpose, etc. etc." But we are less comfortable with those whose today's are worse than their yesterday's and who are honest about their pain and confusion - "my life is in a shambles right now and I don't see God anywhere in this situation, as far as I am concerned it looks like He has forsaken me." We prefer piety, even false piety, to honesty.

There are a couple of paragraphs on page 144 that summarize the book very nicely, I believe.

"It's hard to hear, but it is important to know that God is not committed to supporting our ministries, to preventing our divorces, to preserving our health, to straightening out our kids, to providing a livable income, to ending famine, to protecting us from agonizing problems that generate in our souls an experience that feels like death."

"We cannot count on God to arrange what happens in our lives in ways that will make us feel good."

"We can count on God to patiently remove all the obstacles to our enjoyment of Him. He is committed to our joy, and we can depend on Him to give us enough of a taste of that joy and enough hope that the best is still ahead to keep us going in spite of how much pain continues to plague our hearts."

Whether or not Crabb's insights start a large scale revolution, they can start an individual revolution as we exchange the "useful God" for the Biblical God, and this book is a good starting point.

Dr. Crabb has done it again! With every sucessive book he writes, he only gets better in his understanding of the Christian life. In his most recent book, "Shattered Dreams," he reviews the book of Ruth from the perspective of Naomi. Through his delving into Naomi and his understanding of Naomi's shattered dreams of a better life he allows us to understand why God brings suffering into our lives. Dr. Crabb also allows us to understand the struggles we have with our flesh during our suffering and how God uses those struggles to bring about a deep desire within us to glorify Him and become intimate with Him. If you have ever truly, really struggled with trials and tribulations you thought would never end, I would heartily encourage you to first read his previous book, "the Safest Place on Earth" and then immediately afterwards read "Shattered Dreams." These two books will minister to you like you never thought imaginable. They truly will consol and comfort your soul.

I ordered this book because my dreams and life have been shattered. Though I have been a Christian for over 30 years I have known the pain of a deeply abusive childhood, then the deep desire to find a soulmate, and the shattered dream of a marriage to a good wife who loves me and whom I love, but with whom there is no connection. The intense pain of loneliness and aloneness, and the deeper pain of knowing one who is a soulmate, but who I cannot, will not run to, has broken me. This book did nto take the pain away, and that is the best part. It is real, not empty cotton candy advice from one who has felt no pain. It asks all the quetions I have asked. Why won't God answer, why does he not hear, where is he when I hurt so bad that my whole personality aches with loneliness?

There are no easy answers here, only real answers that do not deny the real pain and the real suffering while looking into the eyes of a loving Father who wants you to love him more that any easy fix of your life. He calls us to a higher passion that the passion to be at ease, even when the ease would be good and holy.

"More frequently than untested Christians expect, God removes the one source of joy and meaning that we were counting on to make our lives worth living, and replaces it with nothing." This seed of radical insight, buried in Larry Crabb's previous book, "The Safest Place on Earth," matures into full flower in "Shattered Dreams."

The backdrop is Naomi's poignant pilgrimage from bitterness to blessedness, but the substance of his message rises convincingly out of Larry's own encounter with the faithfulness of God. With characteristic clarity, he encourages us to consider that our sufferings, rather than being a sign of God's disfavor, are actually the sole pathway into His presence. In Larry's words, "Only when we discover a desire for Him that is stronger than our desire for relief from pain will we pay the price necessary to find Him."

"Shattered Dreams" draws us into a depth of honesty about ourselves and our experience of God that is startling and compelling. For example, most of us struggle to understand how a God who loves us seems at times to be utterly unresponsive to our pain. Larry suggests there are three ways to deal with this. First, we can stop expecting any help from God and simply cope with life as best we can on our own. Or, we can see our anger at God as being sin, and effectively "smother our souls" by attempting to disregard the hurt.

Or, option three. "Scream and holler until the terror of life so weighs you down that you discover solid ground beneath your feet. The solid ground is not doctrine. It is not merely truth to believe. It is not recommitment and trying harder to believe and do right. It is Him. It is our awareness of a Christ whose passion to bless is so strong that His restraint becomes not a cause for complaint, but a sacred and appealing mystery."

Our society equates suffering with evil. However, if one defines evil as that which contradicts the nature of God, it should be clear that suffering, so integral to the life of Christ and His followers, is in fact among the highest forms of good. As we stop kicking against the goads, and allow our trials to produce their "perfect work," we too, by God's grace, can experience the supernatural passage from human happiness to unspeakable joy. "Shattered Dreams" is a welcome guidebook along that journey.

Thank you Larry Crabb for your blatant honesty! I read every review written before I purchased this book, and even after reading the negative ones -- I still purchased it. Your honesty was refreshing. You can always tell when someone has walked the same path you have through suffering -- they speak words that touch your heart like the tip of an arrow hitting the bull's eye on a target. I have to concur with the words of another reviewer: I too wanted to put the book down many times because Mr. Crabb had me pegged to the wall. I found solice in this book because I realized once again that I am not alone in my suffering nor my shattered dreams. Many others have walked the same path that I have walked -- and I dare to say that many more will do the same. The Word of God tells us to walk along side of those who are suffering the same things that we have suffered so that we can bring them the same type of comfort that we received also. We can't walk alongside of others unless we are willing to share our lives with others and minister from our pain. Thank you Larry Crabb!

Dr. Crabb writes in the introduction, "God's Spirit has instructed me to focus my life and ministry around three words: encounter, community, and transformation." I love the journey he is on! I love his vision for Christian communities that manifest the life of Christ in healing relationships. He introduced this (imperfectly) in his book, Connecting. THIS BOOK FALLS FAR SHORT OF BEING A HEALTHY ENTRY POINT INTO COMMUNITY AND TRANSFORMATION.

Crabb begins well enough. Who can't recognize that suffering seems omnipresent? We all feel that as God's children we were promised something better. We all suspect that the promises we read in Scripture are fraudulent. He frankly discuses our angst and pain, giving voice to some deep pain that many of us don't even know how to articulate.

PROBLEM 1: CRABB NEEDS AN EDITOR. He admits that he writes with a pen and paper. It seems to me that he dashes off his thoughts in stream-of-conscious sessions without regard for what he's written previously. His writing follows a loosely organized path forward, but he constantly backtracks in repeating himself and sidetracks by incorporating extraneous information.

PROBLEM 2: MAJOR POINTS ARE POORLY SUPPORTED. One of the ways the editorial problem manifests itself is in weak proofs of strong assertions. For example, in chapter nine, Larry opines, "People who find some way to deaden their pain never discover their desire for God in all its fulness." For those who may be skeptical of such a statement, he then offers, "Think with me about how this works." As a proof of how it works, he writes, "That is the function of pain, to carry us into the inner recesses of our being that wants God." That clearly is not a proof but merely a restatement of the thesis.

Some other examples: Larry makes the statement, "Deliverance from despair always comes through a person." He also imagines that the wedding toast for Ruth in Ruth 4 (that she would be like Rachel and Leah) was somehow a hidden wish for sanctified suffering. Clearly, it was nothing more than a wish that she would be a matriarch.

PROBLEM 3: WEAK PRESCRIPTION FOR THE PROBLEM OF PAIN. After hemming and hawing for 190 pages about how hard pain is and that God intends pain to draw us near to him, Larry offers a prescription for experiencing the joy that God promises us.

Larry's prescription is basically this: Think about God as a holy God of passionate wrath, and think about yourself as arrogant people who deserve eternal misery. UH, OKAY... I'LL GRANT THAT THERE'S SOME TRUTH IN THAT. BUT THAT'S WHAT I SLOGGED THROUGH 190 PAGES FOR?

* WHERE IS THE CASE STUDY EVIDENCE THAT SUPPORTS CRABB'S PRESCRIPTION? He is a psychologist. Can't he provide some proof that this is the way to deal with the problem of pain?

* WHY DOESN'T CRABB FOCUS ON THE CHRISTIAN'S EXALTED POSITION IN CHRIST? Doesn't the Bible have a lot to say about who we are in Christ? We are no longer "people who deserve eternal misery." Wouldn't it benefit us greatly as Christians to embrace our exalted status?

* WHY DOESN'T CRABB FOCUS ON THE COMMUNITY AS A SOURCE OF HEALING? There is nary a word in this book about how our Christian communities can/should help us to deal with the problem of pain.

As I considered what was wrong with Crabb's prescription, many thoughts came to mind regarding the faulty assumptions Larry makes that lead him to such a powerless prescription.

* Larry has a very fatalistic view of suffering: NOWHERE DOES CRABB QUESTION THE ROLE THAT OUR OWN PERSONAL DECISIONS OR CULTURAL INFLUENCES PLAY IN OUR SUFFERING. My 40-year old brother-in-law who just had colon cancer can view God correctly until he's blue in the face. What he really needs to do is quit eating that 1/2-pound of beef and a pint of ice cream each day!

* CRABB'S PRESCRIPTION FOR SUFFERING DOES NOT INCLUDE A PLACE FOR ACTION. Why not? There is no such thing as mental assent. Truly embracing what Christ has for us is inseparable from taking action.

Like Connecting, this book feels unfinished. He spends the bulk of the book stating and restating his thesis that only in suffering can we realize all that God has for us, then he fails to present a valid prescription for how to truly embrace suffering. I could go on. My copy of the book was marked with many, many critical comments that I'm not writing here.

...TRY:
* Henri Nouwen's The Wounded Healer
* C.S. Lewis' Problem of Pain or Grief Observed
* Philip Yancey's Disappointment With God or Where Is God When it Hurts?

It's interesting reading through the comments posted on Amazon books. Call me a pessimist, but I find I often pull up the low stars reviews first. I want to see what made angry or disappointed folks bother to post at all. Are they on a mission to save others from wasting their time? Are they trying to correct the author's theology? Or, are they merely wanting to contribute another perspective to a reading community?

I'm usually cautious when a review (positive or negative) becomes tainted with "reactionary vengeance". A good book is like good art. It is very individual. What bores one person to death will likely move another to life-changing tears.

I was loaned a copy of Shattered Dreams by a new friend. He was a Pastor for over 20 years. He did tons of counseling - free of charge - to drug addicts, religious burn-outs, poor and wealthy. For now, he needs a break from "professional Christianity". He is tired, fighting disillusionment, in a chasm of sorts.

So am I.

We are both wrestling an unseen foe in a fog. Struggling to keep the pilot light flickering on our faith, our passion for God, our "grasp" of the gospel as we have so zealously (and sincerely) tried to live it, share it, be transformed by it. Our sense of perspective and purpose seems to be slipping away. Like Naomi, we are inclined to snap, "Don't call me 'Naomi' (pleasant). Call me 'Mara' (miserable)."

I don't know that I blame God for the fog. At least, not in a final way. In fact, I have stumbled on to notions I never noticed before while in the thick of it. God's sovereignty. And, on its heels, God's faithfulness. And, attached inseparably to that, God's deep, mysterious goodness. A baffling, double-take kind of goodness.

I have always sensed (hoped?) that the fog (self-induced, life-induced and, perhaps, God-graciously-induced) was functional in its restrictiveness. Like a cast that heals a body by imprisoning it, I am beginning to hear in the fog an invitation. A whisper, really - but a clear one - to lean in or clench onto God in a way I haven't before. In a couldn't outside the fog. Like Jesus' analogy about the blind leading the blind, I have to admit I am certainly blind. Thus, I need a guide. Even the blind being led by a wise and loving Guide will feel uncertain at times, wobbly, untrusting, fearful, etc. I think this is one way of looking at Larry Crabb's message. God - through pain, suffering - brings us to a full embrace of our blindness and, equally, a complete surrender of our strivings (even the 'noble' ones).

This is not an insult to us as humans. This is not a "Woe is me! I'm a worthless worm" experience. This is a "I am made to find my sustenance in God". Like Jesus, we learn this type of obedience through "suffering". Through fog. This is not morbid, or dark, or emo. This suffering is not devoid of joy or, even, seasons of giddiness. Indeed, my deepest 'highs' have come in this condition.

Jesus put it plainly: God did not come for the healthy. God is the great Healer but He only heals the sick. God is the Great Provider but He only feeds the hungry. God is the Living Water, but He only quenches the thirsty. I think "Shattered Dreams" does an excellent job of illuminating this powerful and core reality in God.

One review said, in effect: "This type of God is like telling a child to return to an abusive father. I want nothing to do with this type of God". I didn't get that message at all. The big, fat difference in this comparison is the fathers. One destroys. One creates. One is imperfect. One is perfect. One is full of unmet needs and wrath. One needs nothing. One is perfect Love. And Love never fails.

I haven't finished the book so I may come to appreciate some of their comments better later. Still, I have already gotten so many nuggets of gold in the first 5 chapters to justify a lasting gratitude for Larry Crabb's insights. I will most certainly buy my own copy - to read again and again through the years. So many of the negatives seem to focus on Larry not giving us "application tools" for navigating these times. I think he does. The tool is to let God be God. Stay on the bike. I think Mr. Crabb feels that any clever acronym or "1,2,3 steps" would be artificial, manipulative and disruptive. On top of that, God would, if allowed, simply unmask these, too. And that's something awesome and glorious. To realize that the God of all creation invites us to simply walk with Him as He determines the path. And trust - because of who God is - that it will be all it should be, which, incredibly, is more than you or I can imagine or dream of.

If you want God (or, even, can only say you 'want to want' God), I think you'll benefit from reading this book. But read it slowly. Ingest even the shortest sentences. I have already been encouraged and taught so much. I have been ministered to and provoked to lean into God's sovereignty in the midst of the fog and, therein, taste joy. Thank you, Larry Crabb.

I'd like to believe that my underlying purpose for following Christ and performing ministry is to glorify God and bear others' burdens. But "Shattered Dreams" caused me to re-evaluate the actual motives behind my Christian service, and even my walk with God as a whole. It is Dr. Crabb's contention that we as Christians tend to treat our faith as a means to get what we desire - happiness, blessings, and "the good life." We want Heaven now, and therefore do whatever we can to achieve that goal. His words cut deeply, and made me realize how often I value my own personal well-being and comfort over taking risks as part of my relationship with Jesus. I fear suffering, and the loss that accompanies it. However, Dr. Crabb counters that such disasters (i.e. shattered dreams) can lead to a genuine fulfillment found only in a love relationship with the living God.

Dr. Crabb uses the Biblical book of Ruth to illustrate his thesis. Naomi's early life is an example of shattered dreams that were ultimately redeemed later on for a greater purpose by a loving God. His points are well-reasoned, and I came away with a whole new appreciation for this small, yet powerful Old Testament story. Indeed, a book that throws down the spiritual gauntlet like "Shattered Dreams" needs a Scriptural foundation, and Dr. Crabb comes through admirably in this regard.

I should point out that Dr. Crabb is not trying to steer the Christian towards an aesthetic existence devoid of desire. Nor is he advocating a fatalistic view of life in general. Instead, he encourages us to be deeply thankful for God's blessings, and enjoy them as such. But "Shattered Dreams" cautions us against believing that Christians are entitled to achieve blessing and avoid suffering via some sort of "right action" formula. This self-centered way of life doesn't reflect the heart of God, and ultimately misses out on the joy He offers to those who truly walk in the Spirit.

If there is any weakness in "Shattered Dreams", it's one that I've seen in past works by Dr. Crabb. He is very long and detailed in diagnosis, but a bit sparse when it comes to remedy. To his credit, Dr. Crabb has founded New Way Ministries (discussed at the book's conclusion) in order to lead Christians toward a transformed life in Christ. I look forward to seeing what will come of it (as an aside, you may wish to read Dr. Crabb's "The Pressure's Off" and "Revolution Within" by Dwight Edwards for additional material along the lines of "Shattered Dreams").

I've been broadsided by Dr. Crabb's books before, but never so much as with "Shattered Dreams." This book has challenged me to evaluate my true motivations for following and serving God, and it is a wake-up call for all those who claim that Jesus Christ is their Lord and first love.

I am continually amazed by Larry Crabb with each new book I read by him. I was first introduced to him by a seminary professor who made us read "Understanding People" for our counselling course. I don't remember being struck by Crabb's brilliance but then I picked up a copy of "Connecting" and immediately realized that Crabb was an author I had been waiting a long time to read. In my opinion, Crabb is a necessary voice in today's evanglical culture that seems a little too caught up in the "Name it and Claim it" school or prayer. He isn't afraid to talk about disappointment, trauma and despair and outlines the role of Christian community in helping the Christian with these topics. I was impressed in this latest book by his careful exploration of Naomi, a character in the Bible we don't hear too much about. Usually when we think of those who suffered, we immediately turn to the book of Job. Crabb points out that Naomi suffered as well and lived to see her disappointment turn to joy.

I would highly recommend this book to anyone who has experienced the death of a dream and wonders where God is and what He is up to. Warning: this book cannot be read just once!

This book will provide profound insights into the nature of both God and suffering. It will not offer easy formulas or specific prayers that will lead to material abundance or emotional well being. As a matter of fact, it may force the reader to reexamine their motives for becoming a Christian in the first place.

This is a book for anyone searching for the reasons why God allows suffering and brokenness into their lives; and why everything worthwhile has been taken away from them.

Dr. Larry Crabb presents a truly remarkable premise within the pages of this book. And that is to really experience a profound joy, we must first go through a period of brokenness and shattered dreams. It is only by experiencing this can we ultimately come into a true encounter with God that will lead us to joy. In other words, God oftentimes will strip away the lesser things of this world in order to reveal Himself to us.

God's plans for our lives are on a far higher level than anything we can even imagine. Dr. Crabb uses the Book of Ruth to illustrate this Biblical principle, but he could have easily have used the Book of Job. In both cases, the principle characters experienced enormous suffering and loss in their lives. However, it was through the experience of these "shattered dreams" that both Naomi and Job ultimately came to a much greater and profound understanding of God - and this led them to experience true joy.

The book is not without flaws and I would have liked to have read more about experiencing "encounters with God." At the end of the book, Dr. Crabb writes "A new way to live is available to us, a way that leads to a joy-filled encounter with Christ, to a life-arousing community with others, and to a powerful transformation of our interior worlds that makes us more like Jesus." Perhaps another book on this subject will someday appear. However, in the meantime, "Shattered Dreams" goes a long way in explaining why God allows suffering and brokenness into our lives.