443 of 477 people found the following review helpful
on July 7, 2008
My partner is the original John Wayne - to the core. And for him to read a "how to" book on anything just isn't going to happen. Well, he doesn't have a lot of experience in the art of pleasing a woman...you know, cowboys just get on and ride! Well, somehow, he heard about this book and has it ever made a difference. A difference in everything - our level of intimacy, our happiness, everything we do...we are now closer than ever before...and we're both in our 60's!
He first tried some of the techniques without telling me about the book. Well, it was wonderfully obvious to me that something had changed and for the better.
This past weekend, we sat together in bed and he showed me the book and we read exerpts that he had marked together. How wonderful is that! We've laughed and played and we have loved...and after all these years, I am now coming first - and for the first time! How glorious is that!
Thank you, Dr.Kerner!She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
218 of 257 people found the following review helpful
on May 29, 2004
I have always loved the act of pleasing a woman orally, ever since I had my firet experience at age sixteen. When a freind asked me to desribe "it" I described it as a kind of wild, exotic fruit, which was why I was first attracted to Mr. Kerner's book -- the cover; that was it, there on the cover of a book, 20 years later. But the when I opened the book, I was thankful for this coincidence, for Mr. Kerner not only describes the essential parts of a woman's sexual anatomy in great detail, he describes how they work, and how you, your tongue and your lover can team up for a dynamite experience. This book is about love and the senses and all that's brought to bear during sex -- sight, smell, taste, sound, touch -- expecially talk, language, the "grammar" of sex. Ultimately, what makes this book special, raising it head and shoulders above your average "sex manual" is Kerner's ability to focus on the obvious: that communication is the essence of sexual satisfaction, that while you use your fingers and tongue to physically stimulate, it is the combination of ears and tongue, listening to what she wants and needs, and telling her what you want and need, that is the foundation of great sex and great love. This book is a real winner.
438 of 544 people found the following review helpful
on September 27, 2004
I have a curious mind and always have, so when I came across yet another book about cunnilingus I could not resist. I was especially intrigued when I saw the author was male. `She Comes First' is without a shadow of doubt the best book on the subject today.
I especially loved how he organized his book after Strunk and White's `Elements of Style' so the book is easy to read, easy to follow, and exceptionally helpful in the elements of sexual style and usage. The chapters are short and sweet so if you are in a time crunch you certainly can devour a short chapter at any session.
I cannot exclaim enough how comprehensive this book is on the sexual response of women. The author spends a great deal of time explaining the importance of building sexual tension to bring about pleasure and actually gives step by step instructions to do so.
From the beginner to the experienced enthusiast, there is something in this book for everybody. I was pleasantly surprised by the routines for beginner, intermediate, and advanced sessions. Also the step-by-step guides are an eye opener.
Impeccably written, this book was a joy to read!
137 of 170 people found the following review helpful
on September 12, 2004
Believe it or not, my boyfriend bought this book for me, not the other way around! Because I've always had hangups about my body and even though he's been enthusiastic about wanting to satisfy me with his mouth, I just don't want him to because it makes me feel too vulnerable and I worry about being overweight. I like sex under the blankets with the lights off, and I know a lot of other women feel this way too. And when it comes to oral sex, it's easier for a woman to give than receive I think because of all the hang-ups and the feeling that it takes too long and the guy is getting impatient or doesn't like it. So my boyfriend bought me this book to show me how enthusiastic he is and to show me what he wants to do and after I read a few pages, I couldn't wait it set my mind on fire! It was amazing, and now I want it all the time from him and I keep telling him about different techniques in the book, try this one and that one! It's a whole new approach to sex for me, and I never knew that guys could like it so much! So for any woman who is afraid for some reason of having a guy go down on him or just plain nervous about it, this is a great book to get into the male mind-set and also learn things about your own body that you never knew. The only reason I give it four stars is because the author has now turned me into a sex addict and I can't get enough. Also, it's very one-sided towards pleasuring the woman, and doesn't talk about what a woman can do to a guy and sex shouldn't be so one-sided, even though it's a great side to be on!
85 of 106 people found the following review helpful
on July 1, 2004
I saw the author speak last night at a café in the East Village and he totally rocked! He did live sex therapy advice. It was great, because he's young and cute, not like that grandmother on the Oxygen channel. People in the audience wrote their sex questions down on index cards and then he read the questions out loud to the crowd and answered them. There were so many different questions about sex and relationships and he answered each one with expert experience and he was also very witty too and clear. As a woman who has only been able to experience orgasms through masturbation and also fakes it with her guy, I find the whole philosophy of She Comes First very exciting and liberating. I feel like I can give the book to my boyfriend and maybe he'll get the message without us having to have an uncomfortable conversation - even though Ian really talks about the importance of communication, which is a question that women kept asking about at the workshop: how to get guys to change their sexual approach without upsetting them. I really liked what Ian had to say about getting a guy to use oral sex to get a woman to the point of no return and then transitioning into the woman on top sex position and having multiple orgasms and a simultaneous one together. Reading some of the reviews, it seems like people think he's against sex, but he's really not - he's just trying to make a point about the type of stimulation women like. I'm really looking forward to not having to fake it anymore.
67 of 84 people found the following review helpful
on January 19, 2007
Format: HardcoverVerified Purchase
I love my husband of nine years very much but he just didn't quite get it when it came to right down to it. We had tried countless times with constant coaching on my part but every time we were intimate it was frustrating for both of us. It kills the mood when I'm constantly saying what he needs to do next.
I began my search for help thinking I would buy a "how to please your lady" on DVD. My search on Google lead me to "She Comes First: The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman" on Amazon's site. The customer reviews were so positive I decided to buy the book myself. The male customers said they liked the book since it was written by a man. The author wrote the book to help other men become masterful at going down on their sweethearts.
It's a perfect book for any man who wants to please his lady. My beloved husband sat down and read the book as soon as I gave it to him. He appreciated the title and so did I. My husband is a very smart man and I know it hurt him to know he wasn't pleasing me like he should.
I want to give a big thank you to Ian Kerner. You've helped my husband so much. He's very confident now when he goes down on me and confidence is sexy. Our love making is now a long, flowing, beautiful experience punctuated only by moans and cries of pleasure.
God Bless you Ian Kerner
43 of 53 people found the following review helpful
on March 19, 2005
Finally a book that says everything I wanted to tell my man but didn't have the gut to. Listen the truth is we all want a guy with a slow hand, but what's even better is a slow tongue. No more wham bam, thanks Ian!!
55 of 69 people found the following review helpful
on February 14, 2006
My husband and I have been married for almost ten years, and I love him dearly, but I'm so glad that he picked up this book! He went from someone who had little confidence in the bedroom, so was often hurried and uncomfortable, to someone who honestly thinks he knows how to please me. And the best part is, he does!
I like Ian Kerner's approach, my husband is a very logical computer geek (said with all the love and respect in the world) and this is just what he needed.
12 of 13 people found the following review helpful
on May 25, 2004
I thought my boyfriend and I knew about my anatomy and what to do with it but Ian Kerner has put us to shame. Though I can't claim yet that we've tried every technique in this book (this will take time as there are so many) the ones we have are already working their magic. The man has thought about the clitoris and it's responses with a thoroughness heretofore unheard of.
This book is full of interesting details and has an overarching philosophy and love of women that is really touching. I wish all men were more like Ian Kerner and maybe they will be after they read this book. I highly recommend it to all lovers of women.
44 of 55 people found the following review helpful
on March 23, 2006
The road that I have carved out for myself in the realm of sexuality has been interesting and fun. And, before reading this book I felt that I was well enough equipped to tackle anything in the bedroom, including cunnilingus. I have never been more wrong. This book has transformed not only how I view sex in general, but how I look at a naked woman, how I feel about cunnilingus and, most importantly, my sexual performance and interaction with a woman. I do not simply recommend this book, I encourage any man (or woman) to read it and take the wisdom and experience from it. Apply it's useful knowledge immediately and I can guarantee an increase in confidence and pleasure, for both partners.