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347 of 361 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Marriage Must!
This title is the first one I have read by Dr. Kevin Leman. I am so impressed with him and his humorous, helpful style that he will likely be on my list of favorite authors. Leman's personality comes through strong in this volume about married life, laughter, and the language of love.
I read this book first, and then my wife was so intrigued by my interest that she...
Published on April 26, 2003 by David R. Bess

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143 of 163 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Very insightful, overlook the writing style
Most Christian books on sexuality dance around honest questions regarding the basics of sexual intimacy and fundamental biological differences between men and women. I grew up in a Christian environment and am familiar with the evangelical approach to sexuality: a curious mix of "Don't ask, Don't tell" and the sentiment that if you're a good person and you communicate...
Published on April 27, 2005 by A Reader


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347 of 361 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Marriage Must!, April 26, 2003
By 
This title is the first one I have read by Dr. Kevin Leman. I am so impressed with him and his humorous, helpful style that he will likely be on my list of favorite authors. Leman's personality comes through strong in this volume about married life, laughter, and the language of love.
I read this book first, and then my wife was so intrigued by my interest that she read it as well. My wife is normally not a reader of non-fiction, but this title held her attention to the very end. Both of us later described this volume by remarking, "This guy is so right on target with his description of what makes men/women tick!"
Leman is a devout Christian, and as such remains within biblical guidelines in his sexual advice. He definitely is NOT however, puritanical by any means. He describes sex in marriage as a gift from God to be thoroughly enjoyed, not as a necessary evil to be endured.
For years as a pastor I've recommended one other particular title to newlyweds as an "all-you-wanted-to-know-about-sex-but-was-afraid-to-ask" book. I am so impressed that this title will now replace it. Buy it for your marriage, read it in your marriage, and learn even more about this wondrous gift God has provided!
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211 of 218 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars A Stirring Classic --- Encore!, January 24, 2004
By 
FaithfulReader.com (New York, New York) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (Paperback)
Psychologist and bestselling author Dr. Kevin Leman pulls back the sheets on the scintillating subject of sexual intimacy in his latest book, SHEET MUSIC. While it's a return of sorts to the territory that he covered in SEX BEGINS IN THE KITCHEN, Leman uncovers much more ground in this revealing look at the secrets to connubial bliss.
"It's not just a how-to-do-it manual," writes Leman. "This is more of a do-it-yourself look at why to do it and how to do it better." With his trademark wit and wisdom, Leman offers couples no-nonsense guidance for creating and keeping a satisfying sexual relationship.
The provocative primer includes 31 ideas for sensual surprises, including a racy recipe for creating a chocolate bath complete with whipped cream. Also included for readers are helpful suggestions for identifying and satisfying not only the needs but also the desires of their spouses.
"One of the most loving and holy things you can do in marriage is to provide a sexually fulfilling pursuit of your husband or wife," Leman writes. "Therefore without apology, this is the most explicit book I've ever written. Probably everybody will be offended by at least one thing I say in this book."
Leman confesses that the book was the hardest to write of the 25 titles he's written to date and even goes so far as to include a brief note to readers, admitting that part of what is included in the book may be too forward for some. For readers in premarital counseling specifically, he suggests saving the second half of the book for the honeymoon.
In the chapter titled "A Very Special Connection," Leman addresses several of the more common sexual positions and even some of the not-so-common ones. Later in the book, he is supportive of oral sex, devoting an entire chapter to "Oral Delights."
Throughout the book, Leman stresses the need to consider the appetites of one's spouse and suggests never coercing them into any type of sex act unwillingly. The law of love is to rule in the bedroom as much as any place else, he maintains.
Arguably somewhat graphic in places for a Christian sex guide, the book nevertheless excels at confronting unhealthy sexual inhibitions in the name of liberating couples' God-given passions for their own good.
While not for the faint of heart, SHEET MUSIC is a much-needed resource for recovering sexual intimacy in marriage. Leman has composed a stirring classic, moving readers to create beautiful music together. Encore!
--- Reviewed by Sean Fowlds
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214 of 226 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars This book will save your marriage!, February 18, 2003
By A Customer
This is truly the most incredible marriage book I have ever read! Dr. Leman is just so right-on about what makes men tick and what drives them sexually (and its more in-depth than one would think!). It made me realize that men are not just after the sex, per se, but the intimate connection that sex provides for a couple. He has such incredible insight about the role of sex in a marriage and he backs it all up biblically - making sex within marriage not just right, but mandated by God! Christians and non-Christians alike will appreciate his insight into what makes men and women tick (its scary how well he gets inside a womans mind AND body) and this book would benefit any marriage having difficulties of any kind, or even none at all. Finding the common ground on sex can be so difficult - just the introduction of this book cleared up so many issues in my mind. I can't begin to say how highly I recommend this book to everyone - I am just so thankful to Dr. Leman for such a clear look into the mind of my husband!
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143 of 163 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Very insightful, overlook the writing style, April 27, 2005
This review is from: Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (Paperback)
Most Christian books on sexuality dance around honest questions regarding the basics of sexual intimacy and fundamental biological differences between men and women. I grew up in a Christian environment and am familiar with the evangelical approach to sexuality: a curious mix of "Don't ask, Don't tell" and the sentiment that if you're a good person and you communicate with your spouse, the two of you will just figure it out.

From that perspective, "Sheet Music" is a breath of fresh air for mainstream Christian couples, providing plain straightforward answers to some very blunt questions (including special considerations for first-time lovers, positions that please a woman, improving ejaculatory control, creating a lifestyle that nurtures intimacy on all levels, etc.)

Dr. Leman does well to communicate that God created sex for the pleasure of monogamous couples, and Christians should not feel shame in talking very candidly about sexual matters. But, he shatters his own credibility with a frequently awkward tone and substandard schoolboy attempts at wit that wind up more irritating than personable. Perhaps, in an attempt to show his liberty in discussing sexual matters, he over-compensated in his use of sexual innuendo and cheap locker room jokes. As a person who has spent quite a bit of time both in the church and away from it, I found myself thinking repeatedly, "What's he doing? Don't I get enough of this from my buddies at work?"

Writing style aside-I would've given the book a five out of five otherwise (!)-I don't know of any other book on Christian shelves that deals with sexuality in such a comprehensive manner. I will definitely recommend it to other couples with the encouragement that they overlook the writer's half-baked humour... and trust that the insights offered are quite beneficial.
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51 of 57 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book! Sometimes surprising, Solid & Biblical, August 5, 2004
By 
JMM (Conn. USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (Paperback)
As a minister I was very pleased at the solid teaching Dr. Leman gives in this and all of his books, (as well as video seminars) I have reviewed. Some of this material will shock some Christians with traditional sensibilities about marital sex. Sex is very important to a marriage. Good sex is something we should all strive for in marriage, it is God's gift to us. This book gives straight forward, sometimes very, very straight forward (insert red face) how to information. But because sex has been hijacked by the world the church has, as a whole, ignored the topic. It is time for some good Biblical teaching. Are you married then be brave and read this book with your spouse. I think you will both be glad you did. Also it would be a great gift for newlyweds and engaged couples!
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50 of 56 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Overall, a good pick despite some offensive material, May 16, 2008
This review is from: Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (Paperback)
I am getting married in a few weeks and bought this book for my fiance and I to read. I found this book to have numerous strengths: it is straightforward and detailed. I don't imagine that many readers will be confused or have more questions. Dr. Leman celebrates the sexual relationship of the married couple and paints a very healthy, though possibly counter-cultural, view of sex between a husband and a wife. And, along with this he does realistically acknowledge and thoroughly address the challenges of the sexual relationship (tiredness, kids in the next room, husbands generally wanting sex more than wives, orgasm issues, differences between men and women, the role of an emotional connection in the sexual relationship, etc.) This book was written by a Christian psychologist, so there are numerous references to Scripture, which as a Christian, I appreciated.

Despite what I see as many strengths of this book, I rarely read more than a few pages without feeling a little aggravated with Dr. Leman and what I perceive as his bent towards elevating the importance of the husband's sexual needs. First a caveat, I do believe that marriage is about sacrifice. I realize there will be many times when I may not want to have sex and I will sacrificially engage to please and love my husband well. Having said that, Dr. Leman goes a bit further than this, in my opinion. He repeatedly admonishes women to do everything they can, every time they can to please their men (unless it is degrading or morally objectionable to the woman). At one point, Dr. Leman points out that men may feel embarrassed to go buy KY jelly for the wedding night, so he recommends that women do that. It's small, but it is a perfect example of his bent. As an unmarried woman, I am not particularly at ease with the idea of buying KY jelly and condoms--why must I be the one to sacrifice at all times? At multiple places in the book, Dr. Leman suggests rather directly that if a man is having an affair, it is because his wife has not fulfilled his sexual needs. While this may be true, I feel that Dr. Leman paints an incomplete picture with this.

My final critique is that Dr. Leman advocates that both men and women masturbate both in preparation for their first sexual encounter and as a means to address various potential problems (e.g., premature ejaculation and the woman having a hard time reaching orgasm, among others). Many reading this book may not have a problem with this, but as a Christian, I think many will wonder at Dr. Leman's suggestion that we can masturbate while keeping our thoughts pure and will wonder at the seeming contradiction to his simultaneous encouragement for the husband and wife to explore and learn sexually together.

All in all, if you have no sexual experience this book is a good read. It will give you helpful and clear information. Just be aware that you will likely be offended or not agree with Dr. Leman at various points in the text.
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30 of 32 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent!, September 25, 2005
This review is from: Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (Paperback)
This book is amazing! I would recommend it to anyone planning on getting married and also to anyone already married. Dr. Leman's insight is remarkable. I have read and enjoyed several of his books, but this one so far is the best. He hits the nail right on the head and holds nothing back from the reader.It is definitely worth reading to strengthen your marriage!
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48 of 54 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Whoah-it's racey!, October 26, 2005
This review is from: Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (Paperback)
This book was a little more descriptive than I had imagined, but it was a great book to refocus my attention to my husband and his needs. Overall I enjoyed the book and the idea that sex should be an exciting experience and not something that you just get over with. It was nice reading a book like this from a Christian perspective
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24 of 26 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Sheet Music, February 16, 2005
This review is from: Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage (Paperback)
This book is an excellent guide for couples that want to bring more enjoyment into their relationship. Dr. Leman goes the extra mile in discussing topics that are uncomfortable for many, but these are things that really need to be talked about if your marriage is going to be everything that God designed it to be. I highly recommend that engaged couples read the first four chapters before marriage and then the remainder after marriage.
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40 of 46 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Water for Parched Marriages, July 24, 2005
Easy to read. Easy to understand. May push some Christian couples over their comfort limit; but, for the rest of us, it is liberating and freeing to know that God does not place any boundaries on marital sex, people do! Leman's advice is to enjoy, enjoy, enjoy! And he gives plenty of tips for how to go about this ;). Yes, 'locker' language IS used, but it is very funny, and not at all demeaning. . . . it lightened up the mood (for us) and helped us not to take a serious topic as seriously; what I would term 'ice breakers'! ;) I and my happy hubby LOVED this book (and, it gives PLENTY of advice on a husband's responsibility in PLEASURING HIS WIFE!-- not at all chauvinistic!).
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Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage
Sheet Music: Uncovering the Secrets of Sexual Intimacy in Marriage by Kevin Leman (Paperback - September 1, 2003)
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