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Shepherding a Child's Heart + Shepherding a Child's Heart: Parent's Handbook + Instructing a Child's Heart
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 215 pages
  • Publisher: Shepherd Press (1995)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0966378601
  • ISBN-13: 978-0966378603
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 6 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (514 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,496 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Tedd Tripp is pastor of Grace Fellowship Church in Hazleton, Pennsylvania and author of Shepherding a Child's Heart.

Customer Reviews

In using Mr. Tripps biblical teaching I have noticed my children's hearts change toward me and their God.
K. Shawhan
I hope as I finish up this book that I will have an even better understanding of the Godly way to discipline my children.
Brandon Davis
I read the book cover to cover (just in case others who disagree with my review assume that I only skimmed the book).
Moxiemama

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

313 of 374 people found the following review helpful By lighten_up_already2 VINE VOICE on September 30, 2008
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I read this book because it seems to have such a polarizing effect on those who read it. Wow. Either this is a one-stop parenting book, or it's a license to abuse children written by a nut! There's no in-between, is there!

Well, yes there is. I'll give this book a solid three stars, and here's why, from a free thinking Christian perspective (I'd like to think).

First of all, contrary to some of the more hysterical one-star reviewers, experiencing a few moments of sting from the buttocks is not the worst thing that can happen to a child, and it's not child abuse or perverted. It's what's happened to untold millions of children throughout history who became adults who contributed to their civilizations.

I believe the dominant form of child abuse occuring in our culture today is neglect. Leaving a child on his or her own to grow up as an undisciplined, untrustworthy narcissist is a far greater abuse to a child than the "spankings" it might have took at an early age to teach a child accountability.

Tripp's "spanking doctrine" is described within a context of communication and consistency, and within that context makes sense. Children are often irrational, and often don't respond to complex psychological manipulation techniques or reasoned negotiation. Spanking to me is a last resort. I think I've spanked one of my two sons an average of once a year, and not out of venting rage but because at the time there was nothing else I could do to end a bad situation.

Truth be told, I'd likely be a better person than I am today if I'd been raised according to all the principles described in this book. Hurts to write that, but there it is.

However, the author's biblical mandate for spanking is just plain poor logic.
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382 of 459 people found the following review helpful By Robert Huffstedtler VINE VOICE on April 11, 2003
Format: Paperback
The key thing that distinguishes Tripp's book from most parenting books is that he rightly understands that our goal in parenting is not to produce children who are obedient, nor is it to produce children who are happy. Rather, both of these are the beneficial result of raising our children in such a way that we are always addressing the issues of the heart (selfishness, rebelliousness, discontent, etc.) rather than just working on the externals.
Tripp gives some very practical advice to this end: how to recognise the "teachable moments", how to spank, the problems with strategies that don't work (e.g. bargaining or bribery). He also makes it clear that discipline only works in an atmosphere of trust and communication. I was very pleasantly surprised to see someone agree with me that in a situation where you "know" your child has done something wrong, but you don't have the evidence to prove it, the right thing to do is to encourage honesty on their part, but if necessary to let them get by with it, rather than acting on a presupposition that might be wrong and injuring the trust between parent and child. He also writes a good bit about parenting goals and strategies for different age groups (from toddlerhood to teenage).
The book does have its flaws, though. The most serious is that Tripp does not do a sufficient job of setting the context of what we are about in parenting. Doug Wilson's Standing on the Promises does that well, and should be viewed as a necessary companion to this book.
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95 of 121 people found the following review helpful By Amazon Customer on May 17, 2007
Format: Paperback
This book, I imagine, is (or will be) considered one of those modern classic parenting books. Ted Tripp draws on his vast experience as a pastor, counselor, school administrator, speaker and father to share with us his perspective on raising children. His underlying principle is that our role as a parent is to guide our children to understand themselves and the world in which they live. To do this effectively, we have to do more than just tell our children, we must lead them through open communication, self-disclosure, living out our values - shepherding their hearts. Tripp states, "The central focus of parenting is the gospel. You need to direct not simply the behavior of your children, but the attitudes of their hearts."

The book is laid out in two parts: Foundations for Biblical Childrearing (the philosophy) and Shepherding Through the Stages of Childhood (the implementation). He begins with exploring the idea that the heart determines behavior. He walks through the various influences our child development that affect what fills the heart. He then reminds parents of their place of authority. I think this is an important concept to internalize, because I increasingly see in our culture a desire to be friends with our children, rather than parents. We focus on making our children like us, and so we gloss over the difficult responsibilities like discipline.

Tripp then moves into a section on goals, and what I loved about this part is how he shifts our focus from ourselves to God. For example, rather than wanting to raise well-behaved children - because it makes us look good or because it gives us control - we want to raise children who love God so much that they want to live in obedience to Him (not us!).
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