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Shit Ain't Perfect - A Millennial's Take on Life's Sh*tty Struggles [Kindle Edition]

Evan Bollinger
4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (35 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $15.50
Kindle Price: $2.99
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  • Length: 426 pages
  • Word Wise: Enabled
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Book Description

Here are the facts: you aren't impressive. Your neighbors may own a better car, your friends may have better jobs, and your relatives may wonder why you drink so much during the holidays. Chances are, you’re not a multi-millionaire and never will be. There are plenty of people smarter, hotter, and downright ‘better’ at what they do, than you. More likely than not, your daily excitement comes from getting off work, having some time to unwind, or a drink, or a nice big meal. Or perhaps, a pleasant bowel movement.

”Shit Ain’t Perfect” takes the motivational powers of a self-help book and combines them with the harsh truth, offbeat whooping of a satire. What results is a book unlike any others: a definitive end to “positive thinking”… and a promising start to “realistic thinking.”

Are you looking for a life guide that is unafraid to dredge up the shit, no sanitation present? Can you handle a little dark humor with your motivation?

And what about your life? Are you a more or less typical person looking for some solid advice on life, from somebody totally unqualified to give it?

Why of course…

Shit Ain’t Perfect leaves no stone unturned. This offbeat life guide will leave you shocked, pissed, and most likely confused. It will unlock all the skeletons in the closet and send them scurrying into your bedroom. It will show you, and others like you, why life is better with a laugh. If you enjoy dark humor, sharp insights, fart jokes, racism, sexism, ageism, and just about any ‘-ism’ you can think of… then this book is ripe for you!

Chances are, you're a lot like me. Human. And if you're human, you're probably equipped with enough blood and brains to know the truth: Life can suck. But that doesn't mean that life does suck. In fact, life is filled to the brim with incredible moments--just mostly wedged between incredible failures. Which is why you're here, previewing this marvelous self-help book.

But again... Be warned, dear seeker of life guide. If you're looking for a traditional self-help, you've come to the wrong place. See, this is not your typical motivational book. Your standard life guide of positive thinking will do two things: (1) lay on the bullshit so thick you could choke on it, and (2) expect you to swallow.

However, if you're here to cast aside the positive thinking mantra and get real, then let's go. A real life guide tells you the truth. Why have a positive attitude when a realistic one is better? Why create an unsustainable bubble of happiness that will puncture at Life's first big punch? Why convince yourself of a falsehood when the truth will set you free?

This irreverent satire targets such critical issues as…

  • Personality type
  • How humans interact in public places
  • The quirks of dicks and chicks
  • The shitty beauty of economy
  • Sex and trauma
  • The art of 'self-love'
  • The ticklish underbelly of race
  • The suckiness of war
  • The popularity of drugs
  • The craziness of disorders
  • And, most importantly of all: why you should give two bladder stones what this author thinks

All in all, Shit Ain't Perfect is an incisive excavation of Life, revealing why sometimes we humans should just suck it up and keep on going. Written carelessly with little regard for the sensitive soul. May contain libel. And a penis joke


Tags: motivational books, self help for men, self help for women, positive thinking, self help books, life guide, positive attitude, motivational, self-help, positive thinking, life guide, satire, dark humor, offbeat

Editorial Reviews


"Finally Some Bravado"

Product Details

  • File Size: 1208 KB
  • Print Length: 426 pages
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B006ZCBYP2
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #677,710 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.6 out of 5 stars
4.6 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Different--honest May 30, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition
While I definitely feel comfortable saying that this book is not going to appeal to everyone, it did have some excellent writing and some interesting points. When you read this be prepared for honesty. The author does not hold back his opinion of much of anything, although he does offer warnings for what is about to come. Although this was certainly not my usual fare as far as reading goes, it was entertaining and I am glad I had the chance to read it.

There is quite a lot of humour in this book and there are times when you just can't help but nod your head in agreement with the author. If you are looking for something different to make you stop and think about...well...basically anything and everything under the sun, this will do nicely. I particularly enjoyed the portions of the book where the author described women. :) He seems to have a good personality that conveys well in his writing.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Great fun! July 14, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition
This is the type of book that I would describe as being about nothing and (at the same time) about everything! Perhaps best enjoyed in small doses, it covers a lot of territory in a blunt and, at times, very un-P.C. manner that I personally found to be most refreshing. After all, there is something to be said for being frank and open about things, especially when the author dissects the personalities of various "types" of individuals. Even the various races get analyzed in a way that might offend the overly sensitive reader but which brings to light the way many people would describe them if they were to be totally sincere in expressing their feelings and opinions.

In all honesty, how many of us never get annoyed by that obnoxious person who drives erratically, that school bus that insists upon stopping at every other house, or that big-mouth dude (or gal) who thinks (s)he knows everything?

I had a terrific time as I read this and actually found the writer echoing my own thoughts, as I was reminded that, if we can't laugh at ourselves and at our own idiosyncrasies and inner prejudices, then we're basically just "P.C. crybabies" (as the author himself puts it on at least one occasion). In other words, a lot of the writing here is clever and amusing: for example, wondering whether Gatorade is actually beneficial to alligators (silly, I know!)and in another chapter referring to a prominent female politician as a "pseudo-woman." (Or how about categorizing people over the age of 40 as OLD???)

This book may not be to everyone's liking, but we all have different tastes and personalities (as the author repeatedly suggests), so what else would you expect?

(I was given a copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.)
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars this is some perfect shit! August 12, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Loved it! Normally I don't read satire, but this book was hilarious, thought-provoking, and boldly truthful all at once. Not to mention some amazing insights about human nature. It's a shame more people have not read this author. He's on to something!
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I DON'T EVEN KNOW... September 9, 2013
By Suzanne
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
I read this because it seemed interesting. Having read it, I'm still not even sure what I read. But maybe that's the beauty of SAP.

It definitely seems like satire, but there are also elements of dark insecurity and sometimes a conspicuous lack of concern for what *most* people would think.
I gave it 5 stars because it's just that different. I dunno. I think it's a book that many people could afford to read, but that few will. I also think the author is one hilarious and crazy person!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Not really sure about this one. December 5, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition
This author is certainly intelligent but some of the things were just a little too... blunt for my liking. That said, I did laugh a lot at certain parts, especially about how to deal with spoiled kids and how to seem like the coolest person at a snobby house party. I would recommend this book for anybody who likes to give your brain a good shake and see life in a new light.
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilariously Different March 28, 2014
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This isn't a self-help book, although in many areas it seems the author is trying to school you in the ways of life. The candor is very unorthodox and highly sarcastic in points. If you aren't use to that type of style, this won't be your cup of tea.

This is the type of book that shakes things up a bit. More than a bit--a whole lot!

Even in moments when the author shucks and jives, quite a few of his viewpoints are relevant in the current world:

1. Educated people unable to get entry level jobs (overqualified)--one of my favorite sections of the write
2. Different types of drivers
3. Different types of people
4. The bleak landscape of current high school and college graduates
5. The hype of Hollywood
6. Religion (hypocrisy)

There's so much more but those are the major ones that stuck out.

I floated between moments of shock, thinking "I can't believe he said that" and holding my sides in laughter. This book was unashamed in delivery and candor, causing my brain and my funny bone maximum stimulation.

The conversational type air was refreshing and the dictionary towards the end for some of the funny jargon used was very helpful.

The only drawback is that the author didn't make this a series of sorts, since so many topics were covered in one setting.

For its out the box style and many gems of truthful reflection, this will be a mainstay in my Kindle. I also recommend this for fans of satire and the wildly unconventional.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars NO ONE IS PERFECT. No one can say that i am perfect ...
NO ONE IS PERFECT. No one can say that i am perfect for my life. Atleast not for all skills. Human life is very short. So there is no point of regret in one life. Read more
Published 1 month ago by John D
4.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious, Straightforward and Direct are the topmost adjectives that...
Hilarious, Straightforward and Direct are the topmost adjectives that came to my mind when I read this book. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Laura Bradford
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book touching various aspects of life
Great Book touching various aspects of life. There's a great explanation of persons from different regions and race like ARABS, ASIANS, etc. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Tara Miller
5.0 out of 5 stars Reality
I find this book helpful and motivational in a way. The book has a lot of insights from the author about reality and how one can handle stresses which are inevitable in our daily... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Richie S
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect Wooh!!
The book has some excellent writing and some interesting points. This book was hilarious. he author doesn't care for saying "nice things", or painting reality with colorful... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Manish Agrawal
5.0 out of 5 stars Amusing and enlightening
Very funny read.
Published 6 months ago by David Brazos
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Funny yet so true
Published 6 months ago by Gina M Dettman
5.0 out of 5 stars Perfect Satirical Commentary
This book speaks the truth about "Perfect Satirical Commentary" in such a hillarious manner. These are from real life experiences. Read more
Published 6 months ago by B. Camp
2.0 out of 5 stars A particular kind of humor
This is a book full of the author's observations about everything under the sun. I personally don't care for it at all, but acknowledge that some may find it funny. Read more
Published 10 months ago by Apollinaire
2.0 out of 5 stars why
I started reading this book because I thought it would be funny but it was stupid so I deleted it
Published 16 months ago by Kindle Customer
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More About the Author

Evan specializes in a fusion of horror and scifi, opting for story-lines that challenge our perception of normal, everyday events and ideas. A lifelong fan of horror and dystopian, Evan continues to dream up the impossible. He is currently at work on his latest full-length novel.

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