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A Shore Thing Mass Market Paperback – December 27, 2011
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Top Customer Reviews
I rallied as best I could and continued to read, but my wife called 911 when she found me unconscious on the floor and my finger on this homage to internal bleeding. "Yum. Johnny Hulk tasted like fresh gorilla. Any juicehead will get some nut shrinkage. And bacne. They fly into a 'roid rage, it is a 'road' 'roid rage."
Somebody please call the CDC. Lethal damage awaits anyone who reads much more of this...it's not a book so I'm not exactly sure what to call it. The definition of Weapons of Mass Destruction takes a new and unexpected twist.
Plot was nyce, had good story and hot chicks.
This book is an insult to anyone with a three digit IQ. It was obviously written in crayon on blue-lined notebook paper.
The author writes: "A fart slipped out." Yep, this is literature, alright. Hemingway would be proud.
Unfortunately, my optimism lasted only until I hit the first word of dialogue on page 2 and discovered it isn't even an actual word, but "Waa!" As in, "'Waa!' she whined at her reflection."
I kept trying, but it only got worse. I couldn't tell the two female main characters apart - one of them was an unabashedly, unashamedly, blatantly, not even disguised Ms. Polizzi, I knew, but I could never remember whether she was calling herself Gia or Bella. The "plot" was probably supposed to be humorous and enteraining, with all the situations the characters got into in a supposedly "oh, those crazy kids!" way, but the whole thing was clearly a wild daydream Ms. Polizzi had of herself being so cute and loveable and fun that everyone thought she was fantastic and brilliant and oh-so-wise, so it was hard to really even buy it, let alone enjoy it. And we won't even get into the lack of mechanical writing skills.
This is a really, really bad book.
In the annuls (no, that's not a misspelling) of classic literature, this tome is a standout. Had it existed at the time of his writing, I've little doubt Dante would have added another whole circle of Hell, circumnavigating its intricate workings.
Literature is by definition, simply that which can be read. Not a whole lot is required to meet that basic definition. Yet this book somehow manages to avoid it. Even though with some effort one can probably mouth the words that the letters on the various pages form, it is still a far cry from being readable.
Okay. okay. I have to admit I only read the cover, and what amounts to some excerpts. Not a lot of excerpts. Just a few. Not real long ones either. It was enough to inoculate me. I could not actually read the whole thing, or even a major portion of it. That's okay, because from what I could tell, everything it actually has to say is pretty-much covered on the cover and fly-leafs.
I am truly saddened to think there are authors who have not been and never will be published, who have spent lifetimes dedicating the totality of their being to their art. Yet this book is currently # 24 on the NYT best seller list. America... you are lost.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
This is a book for entertainment purposes and not about content. I love Snooki and Jersey Shore so I was entertained. Read morePublished 2 months ago by Robin L Conn
Haven't actually read the book yet but have read the comments. To be frank, this book is a most beautiful piece of mispelled words that I have actually torn from the spine of my... Read morePublished 7 months ago by Michelle Dong
Since all the reviews here are jokes and it seems unlikely that anyone actually read it I'll write the honest review. It's stupid. Read morePublished 16 months ago by EricTheGamer