Customer Reviews

A Short History of Rudeness: Manners, Morals, and Misbehavior in Modern America

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

Completely free of the elitism and moralizing that you usually find in etiquette books, Caldwell bypasses the usual bemoaning of how low our standards are, and instead concentrates on how, when, and why standards of polite behavior have changed over the years.

Those expecting a savory collation of anecdotes about rudeness, ancient and modern, will be disappointed. Even Jerry Springer is only mentioned briefly in passing! The book is really about the history of good manners (actually, about the history of books about manners) over the centuries. Witty and amusing in places, but it often degenerates into brief summaries of other books (actually, I found its chief value was the pointers it gave to other, and more interesting, books on manners).

Caldwell covers the history and contemporary culture of manners (or, rather, the lack thereof). He reminds us that while courtesy is anything but common these days, anything less is uncivilized. Sharp and, even pointed when it needs to be, this book puts etiquette in its place: everywhere. For a teenage view point of contemporary manners, a good title would be Alex Packer's HOW RUDE!-which provides a historical and cultural basis, as well as a practical one, for why teens should behave themselves.

Really excellent book on a neglected subject. A bit too focussed on NYC and neglects the South, but overall an excellent read. Highly recommended.

No matter Caldwell's argument for focusing--almost exclusively--on New York City (it's easier to research NYC, he says on the last page of the intro), his subtitle suggests a wider range. James and Wharton have told us more about NYC manners than Caldwell, trapped inside nonfiction's perimeters and by a bloodless style, can approach. Looking to the rest of the United States, then, would have had the meritorious effect of opening his topic up beyond the much-overdone.

Written by a professor at Fordham University in New York who had written an earlier history of t.b., THE LAST CRUSADE. He used a lot of footnotes, meaning that he used other persons' opinions to support his own.

He says that what we call 'manners' has little to do with ethics or morals. Edmund Burke, on the other hand, wrote, "Manners are of more importance than laws. According to their quality, they aid morals...or totally destroy them." Rudeness rarely kills. Politeness (good manners) does not a saint make!

He uses Martha Stewart as a paragon of manners, who certainly set an example about lying (or getting caught). New Yorkers Emily Post and Amy Vanderbilt were the epitome of etiquette experts, but it takes a Southerner with manners to show how it's done. The mobile society of today has almost ruined Southern manners. Boorish behavior is still thriving, there is a good example right here in Knoxville, Tennessee.

Emily Post (and later her daughter, Elizabeth) believed that "the code of ethics is an immutable law of etiquette, instinctive decency, integrity, self-respect, and loyalty." Others considered 'civility' as politeness, refinement, propriety, courtesy, affability and good behavior. Class differences define "good taste" but not "good manners."

Hollywood produced 'comedies of manners' in such films as 'The Philadelphia Story,' 'My Man Godfrey,' and 'Bringing Up Baby.' The Titanic sank on April 14, 1912. The "ladies first behavior showed that the men were gentlemen to the edge of death." The glamor of life on the Titanic floated and sank, as did the civility of opposites, high class and not-so-high.

Kathryn Murray who had a dance show with her husband, Arthur, wrote a guide for teenagers in 1961 and she has noted: "Though this may surprise boys who have never thought about it, most girls notice 'table manners'...Girls take a dim view of a boy who slouches on his elbows, grips his fork like a shovel, or eats untidily." At a recent noontime organ concert downtown, a man brought his lunch, seated himself on the first row, turned sideways to eat (where all could see) and put on his own show. He had atrocious manners. I read in the local paper about a concert in this newly renovated theater where beer and liquor floated freely and normal patrons could not see the stage for all the drunken activity. Those expensive new seats and carpet will be stained and smelling soon.

One's command of the written language divulges evidence of status, wealth, or education on cyperspace. Chat rooms on the Internet can be dangerous as you can't see who is on the other end. I received a communication from Music Of Your Life with a virus in it. No one is safe from some kind of abuse these days, be it rudeness or damage to the computer by viruses through email.

The double standard between the sexes still exists. Nowadays, a man who believes a woman is harassing him has simply projected his own lust onto an innocent female. Data shows that some men are likely to interpret relatively innocent behavior as invitations to sexual contact. It's a fact!

If somebody holds two doors open for you, do you thank him twice? I do, as it is unusual in Knoxville, not the norm; but usually if the first door is opened for me, I open the second door for the other person. Manners are universal, not just a considerate male. Oh, by the way, do you eat fried chicken by holding it in one hand? Or is that just a Southern way of doing things? I admit we are less formal in the South ( you do have to speak to a man first!), but Knoxville isn't exactly Southern anymore. The downtown area has been taken over by folks from other places, and the only people who talk to you on public transit are the homeless, of which we are overrun (unless, of course, it is someone you know). We have all kinds of dialects and accents here, not like Nashville where people are friendlier.

now I'm going to be polite to everybody. woohoo