Customer Reviews

Short-Term Couples Therapy: The Imago Model In Action

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As a Certified Imago Therapist, I use this book with all the couples I see. It provides an overview of Imago Therapy, organizes it into 6 sessions, and provides clear instructions for learning the skills that create a safe and passionate relationship. This book includes the curriculum of the training Imago Therapists receive at the cost of thousands of dollars. Although the book was written for therapists, it is easily accessible to anyone interested in improving their relationship.

I read the book and my husband and I attended Rick Brown's workshop. Be cautious since the Imago Model will make you feel responsible for the marriage issues. The model claims that couples are brought together to complete themselves and that our spouse has the positive and negative traits of our parents and caregivers. It overlooks the fact that some marriages are not a two-way street and spouses in emotional or physically abusive relationships may stay in unhealthy relationships. Imago does not help spouses determine if they are dealing with addictions, personality disorders or mental illness. These need to be ruled out before considering the Imago Model. I stayed in a relationship for another 13 months after the workshop because Rick Brown believes that even if you do leave you'll just make the same mistake again. Some spouses are in unhealthy relationships, like mine, with successful, charming spouses that have secret lives due to addictions or anti-social personality disorders. Personality disorders can be dangerous and are emotionally neglectful or abusive. My soul slowly died over the years. I had exhausted every resource from years of couples therapy and books with no improvement. I discovered from "Emotional Vampires" and "The Sociopath Next Door" that I was dealing with a husband without a conscience. No remorse, lying, no accomodation or negotiating, sexual addictions, drugs, gambling. Yet he was a successful surgeon for 23 years and is charming and exciting. Rick Brown was made aware of the clues that I discovered over the years yet he failed to point out that this relationship was toxic and that untreated addictions and personality disorders may be the problem. I risked my health and safety and my children's future hanging on to a unhealthy relationship. I was doing all the work and my husband was saying all the right things with beleivable excuses for inappropriate behavior or stumbling upon evidence of cheating and drugs. The book and workshop made me feel like I had control and that mirroring would improve our situation. Mirroring a lying, cheating, addicted man without any conscience or guilt is just reflecting toxicity right back into your life. There is a time to give up and beleive that we can learn from our mistakes and bring our wisdom and shed being nieve so that we can have a healthier relationship in the future. Don't stay in a dead end marriage because Imago claims that your future cannot be more fulfilling and healthier because we are a slave to our needs not met as a child.

Extremely helpful book. Couples counseling can easily turn into negative recriminations, and this offers couples tools to feel safer and in touch, and to make actual progress.

The best read in a long time, as a practicing therapist I have to be selective how I spend my little bit of extra time and I have not been able to put it down, I have kept it in my computer bag since I got it. It is enjoyable to hear from a third to four generation removed practitioner from the original Imago concept framework which has allowed for field tested applications that only adds a greater impact to the superb Imago model. It has added a broader base of experience to a already great tool
Jeff B MFT/LEP from Calif.

As a marriage and family therapist in the Sacramento CA area ([...]) I have found this book very valuable. It has out of session work for the couples to do in the back of the book. The only one I struggle with is the 'belly laugh' chapter as I have never been able to replicate this in my office. Other than that a great tool!

BEWARE THE IMAGO HYPE! My wife and I read the book and went to a recent Imago workshop run by Rick Brown. While the book has some very nice insight and may help some troubled couples, much of it is untestable conjecture and post-fact explanation based on the author's opinion. To blame everything on one's parent's and chilhood has gotten a bit old for the post-Freudian generation. While the exercises given are useful communication tools, the workshops are a waste of time with only Imago counslers being given as references and no mechanism allowed for refunding the dissapointed.