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Shotgun Opera [Mass Market Paperback]

Victor Gischler (Author)
4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)

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Book Description

April 25, 2006
Mike Foley can never forget the night he tagged along with his brother on a job for the mob that ended in a hail of bullets. Now his brother is dead, Mike’s making wine in Oklahoma, and life is almost as good as it gets when you’ve been hiding out for forty years. Until his past comes calling.

Mike’s nephew Andrew needs to disappear, and he needs to do it yesterday. Hanging with the wrong kind of friends, he’s seen something he shouldn’t have, and now he’s running for his life with an assassin on his trail. The consummate professional hit woman, Nikki Enders is the most lethal of a deadly sisterhood. And Andrew Foley is next on her extermination list. Unless Uncle Mike can stop her. As kill teams descend on Foley’s farm, one pissed-off ex—tough guy is about to take a final, all-or-nothing stand with shotguns blazing....

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About the Author

VICTOR GISCHLER lives in the wilds of Skiatook, Oklahoma -- a long, long way from Starbuck's. His wife, Jackie, thinks he is a silly individual. He drinks black, black coffee all day long and sleeps about seven minutes a night. Victor's first novel, Gun Monkeys, was nominated for the Edgar Award.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

1

Anthony Minelli, his cousin Vincent, and their pal Andrew Foley played five-card draw on a makeshift table in a nearly empty warehouse on the New York docks.

“Full house, motherfuckers. Queens over sevens.” Vincent drained the rest of his Bud Light, crumpled the can in his fat fist, and tossed it twenty feet. It clanked across the cement floor, echoed off metal walls. Vincent scooped the winnings toward his ample belly. Three dollars and nine cents.

“Nice pot,” Anthony said. “You can buy a fucking Happy Meal. Now shut up and deal.”

“Hey, it’s the skill that counts. I could be on that celebrity poker show on A&E,” Vincent said.

“Fuck you. It’s on Bravo. And you ain’t no celebrity.”

Andrew Foley smiled, reached into the Igloo cooler for one of the few remaining beers. He enjoyed the playful back and forth between the cousins but never joined in. He popped open the beer, sipped. He’d had a few already and was pretty buzzed. He’d also lost nine bucks at poker, not having won a single hand. But that was okay. Like the Minelli cousins, Andrew had been paid a cool grand for his work at the docks today. The money had come just in time.

Andrew was in his junior year at the Manhattan School of Music and he was always short on money. He was a week late on rent when Anthony had called with the offer. Andrew was well aware Anthony and Vincent were wiseguys in training and that a deal with them was sure to be a little shady. Andrew had known the two cousins since they were all in grade school. Andrew’s father and their fathers were pals. He balked at the thought of doing something illegal and maybe getting caught, but Vincent continued to assure him that the whole thing was easy money, a big fat moist piece of cake. Andrew needed cash. Period. Andrew’s landlord wasn’t a forgiving man.

Besides, it really did seem like a pretty easy job. A no-brainer really. Somebody (Just never you mind who. Don’t ask no fucking questions.) wanted a cargo container from one of the big freighter ships unloaded without going through the usual customs. This was a tall order, and a lot of people had to be bribed or distracted. Andrew, Vincent, and Anthony had a simple job. Shepherd the cargo container from the freighter to the unused warehouse way hell and gone down the other end of the wharf. The guy who’d set up the deal didn’t trust the usual union grunts to handle it, and anyway a lone cargo container getting that kind of attention would cause talk. Andrew was being overpaid enough to keep his trap shut. It was understood silence was part of the deal.

They’d forklifted the container into the warehouse and that was that. The job had seemed so simple and the guys were so giddy about their easy payday that Andrew forgot all about an overdue term paper when Anthony produced a cooler of beer and Vincent had pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket.

“What do you think is in there?” Vincent’s eyes shifted momentarily from his cards to the cargo container.

Anthony picked something out of his teeth, then said, “Drugs.”

Vincent raised an eyebrow. “Oh, yeah? You got some inside information?”

Anthony said, “It’s always drugs. Gimme two cards.”

They played cards, talked quietly, drank beer.

The little explosion rattled the warehouse. They dropped their cards and hit the floor. Andrew covered his head with his arms, his heart thumping like a rabbit’s. One of the metal doors on the cargo container creaked open. A chemical smell from the explosive hung in the air.

“Jesus H. Christ.” Anthony was the first to his feet. “What happened?”

Vincent stood up too, dusted himself off. “How the hell am I supposed to know?”

Andrew stayed on the floor, but he uncovered his head and risked a peek. Smoke in the air. Then they heard something, noise from within the container.

“Somebody’s in there,” Andrew whispered.

Vincent shook his head. “That’s fucking impossible.” He’d whispered too.

The cousins were huddled together. Andrew stood up and huddled with them. They watched the cargo container expectantly. It was like a scene in War of the Worlds, Andrew thought. The guys looking at the spaceship, waiting for the aliens to come out. They whispered at each other from the sides of their mouths.

“How could anyone breathe in there?”

“Maybe there’s more than one.”

“Illegal immigrants?”

“Should we go over there?”

“Fuck that. You go over there.”

A figure emerged from the container, and they froze.

The newcomer had dark olive skin, deep brown eyes. Black hair slicked back and dirty. A thick curly beard. He wore a stained denim shirt, threadbare tan pants. Military boots. A small pistol tucked into his waistband. Over his shoulder he carried a large brown duffel bag.

Vincent took a step forward, raised a hand. “Hey!”

Andrew put his hand on Vincent’s shoulder, held him back. What did the dumb wop think he was doing?

The stowaway jumped at the voice, then fixed Vincent with those hard dark eyes. He put his hand on the pistol in his pants, didn’t say a word. Vincent held up his hands in a “no problem here” gesture. The stowaway backed toward the door, his hand on the gun the whole time. He turned, opened the door, and exited the warehouse quickly and without a backward glance.

Anthony recovered first. “What the fuck?”

Andrew let go of Vincent’s shoulder. “What did you think you were going to do?”

Vincent looked a little pale. “Shit if I know. I just saw the guy and . . . Shouldn’t we do something?”

Andrew walked toward the container. “Let’s have a look.” The cousins followed.

The three of them stood at the door and peered inside. Dark. An odd tangle of straps and harnesses. It looked like a car seat had been arranged to withstand rough seas.

Andrew examined the container door, which had been latched from the outside. There was a small hole at the level of the latch blown outward from within, leaving the metal jagged and scorched. The guy inside had known exactly what to do to free himself.

Vincent held his nose. “What a fucking stink.”

Andrew nudged him, pointed into the corner of the container at an object that could only be a makeshift toilet. Food wrappers and other debris littered the container’s floor.

Anthony shook his head. “Oh man. We just helped smuggle some kind of Arab terrorist motherfucker. What are we going to do?”

“Not a goddamn thing,” Vincent said. “We were paid to bring the container here and keep our fucking mouths shut. We weren’t supposed to hang around and play cards. We were never meant to see this. I don’t care if that was Osama Bin Laden’s right-hand guy. We’re going to keep our fucking traps shut and not do a thing.”

Fear bloomed in Andrew’s gut, but he agreed. Maybe if he kept quiet about this, never told a soul, it would all go away.

• • •



He was known among his fellow terrorists as Jamaal 1-2-3.

He walked from the docks straight inland for five blocks, turned right, walked four blocks, then left for another three blocks. He pretended to examine shoes in a store window but was really watching the street behind him in the reflection.

No one appeared to be following him.

He zigzagged another ten minutes, found a pay phone, dropped his duffel at his feet, and dug a slip of paper out of his shirt pocket. There was a phone number. No name. No identifying markings of any kind. It was a local number, but that meant nothing. The call could be rerouted and transferred to any phone in the world. Jamaal might be calling a barbershop in the Bronx or a noodle hut in Kyoto. He dialed the number.

It rang five times before someone picked up. “Hello?”

“This is Jamaal 1-2-3.”

“One moment.” Shuffling papers. Taps at a keyboard. “What seems to be the problem?” A slight accent. Perhaps Eastern European.

“I was seen.” Jamaal explained what had happened.

“I understand.”

The voice asked Jamaal a few questions. Who were the three men? Jamaal didn’t know. What did they look like? Early twenties. American. Two with dark hair, one with lighter brown hair and pale skin. He described their clothes.

“I wasn’t supposed to be seen. If the authorities learn that—”

“It will be taken care of.”

Jamaal said, “But it’s important that—”

“I said it will be taken care of. You must go about your business. Forget the three men. Proceed as planned. Leave the rest to me.” He hung up.

The conversation’s abrupt end surprised Jamaal. He blinked, shrugged, hung up the phone. He stood there a full minute pondering his situation. His mission depended on his ability to blend into the scenery, where he would slowly go about collecting the materials he needed. And in a month or three or a year, when everything was in place, he would strike at the Great Satan for the glory of Allah. But if the American FBI or CIA knew an Arab had been smuggled into the country, they would scour the city looking for him. The witnesses had ...

Product Details

  • Mass Market Paperback: 320 pages
  • Publisher: Dell (April 25, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0440241715
  • ISBN-13: 978-0440241713
  • Product Dimensions: 4.2 x 0.8 x 6.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (20 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #487,139 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

20 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
4.2 out of 5 stars (20 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

16 of 17 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Pure fun; pure thriller, July 11, 2006
This review is from: Shotgun Opera (Mass Market Paperback)
"Shotgun Opera" is pure, escapist thriller fun. The first few pages have all the expected touches of a serious thriller. Dan and Mike Foley are hitmen who clean up for the mob with no concern for the innocent who might be in the way. Until tonight. Mike does something that wakens his conscience and brings a bloody career to a close.

That was 1965. Fast forward to 2005 where Andrew Foley, son of the now deceased by natural causes Dan Foley helps two mob connected buddies with a small cargo diversion job on the waterfront. Whoops! As the corpses start piling up, Andrew needs to run before he is terminated by an unknown enemy. He dials the number given him by his late father, the number for his Uncle Mike who grows grapes in Oklahoma.

From this point on the plot has huge holes and disconnects; the characters are delightfully outlandish. Nikki Enders, hitwoman extraordinaire. The mystery man who provides her contractors. Nikki's mom, Middle Sister, Litte Sister, all of whom are murderous and more than a bit oit of the mainstream of Ameican life. Ortega, an illegal immigrant with a dream of a crime empire; Enrique Mars, self-confident murderer. Jack Sprat, contortionist and part-time killer and his 300 pound alligator wrestling wife.

And poor old Mike Foley, long retired hitman who just wants to be left alone with his guilt, grapes and bad back in the middle of nowhere Oklahoma.

It is not to be.

Nephew Andrew shows up seeking safety and the assorted killers aren't far behind.

There is no pretense to seriousness in this thriller: it is simply a fun romp filled with interesting (if bizarre) characters, mayhem, murder, the occasional surprise and, of course, a happy, if violent, ending.

Jerry
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Vintage Vic, July 24, 2006
This review is from: Shotgun Opera (Mass Market Paperback)
Shotgun Opera is Gischler's most mature book, to date. It's not as racously irreverent and grotesquely funny as his previous books, but you'd have to go a long way to find another book as wicked as Gun Monkeys or as sly as Suicide Squeeze.

In Shotgun Opera, Gischler takes a shot (and a stab and a helicopter gunship) at the crime story convention that hard guys can never really retire. You can run but you can't hide--from yourself. Mike Foley was a hard man in the 1960s in New York, but a "simple" job broke his nerve and he ran for a new life making wine in Oklahoma (can you believe it? You will, 'cause Gischler's that good.) Mike thought he was out, but when his nephew in New York gets marked for death, Mike finds himself back under the gun and caught between the desire for peace and the duty to blood. And plenty of both come into play on all sides of this convoluted and fast-paced tale as big, rich, and blood-soaked as any grand tragic opera. And it ain't over till the fat lady sings. It's quite a perfromance.

Downside: Like many operatic pieces, it has moments of excess and a tendency to draw minor characters too small and flat. Some very poor copyediting and a few detail errors left me shaking my head and knocked me out of the flow of the story, unfortunately. For these reasons, I can't give an unreserved thumbs up to this book. Don't get me wrong: it's a terrific book, a fun, consuming read, and has a great ending that really satisfies, but I had the feeling it was rushed to print and didn't give it the care it deserved in the editing process.

Still, if you like Gischler or gritty, outrageous noir crime with a dash of humor and a ton of engaging personalities, you should check it out. It's a real showcase of Gischler's skill as a story teller and an icon of the "new noir." And be a stand-up guy and buy it new, 'cause writers need to eat--it's only $7 (such a bargain!)
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars "Just When I Thought I Was Out...They Pulled Me Back In", December 27, 2007
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This review is from: Shotgun Opera (Mass Market Paperback)
That quote from the Godfather movie characterizes Mike Foley's dilemma in "Shotgun Opera". Mike and his brother Dan were low level hitters and clean up men for the mob when a job gone wrong so wounded Mike's psyche that his guilt compelled him to retire, abandon his family and move thousands of miles away to Oklahoma. For the past forty years, Mike has led a solitary isolated life learning to grow grapes and make wine while trying to bury his sins which he can find no way to expiate.

His brother's son, Andrew, suddenly drops into Mike's life and turns it upside down as he seeks Mike's assistance in escaping from retribution for having seen something he was not supposed to see. Andrew is now being pursued by "the most dangerous woman in the world", Nikki Enders, an uber- assassin from a family of assassins, all of whom also see action before this story is resolved. Also appearing are subcontracted assassins that include a malevolent Cuban hit man and a husband and wife team directly from a midway carnival, Jack Sprat and his enormous wife.

Throw in a few double crosses, familial and sibling rivalries, and competing hit squads and soon the reader needs a score card to keep up with the mayhem. Mike and his neighbor Linda are the most developed of the characters as they struggle to understand what is happening to them and to try to protect themselves as well as Andrew. Mike ultimately understands the code of the hard man compels him to seek out his tormentors and cut off the head of the snake in order to kill the rest of the snake.

I have ambiguous feelings about "Shotgun Opera". To be sure, it is well written in a terse economical style that moves the reader along at a breakneck pace at times. Certainly there is violence and suspense galore for the reader. Mike's psychological struggles with his past and the guilt that resides there were both illuminating and exhausting for me. The juxtaposition of the aging killer from the past engaging the younger modern killers was entertaining and perhaps under developed.

Of course, taken as pure escapist entertainment, the book succeeds as a fun and quick read. Most of its characters remain one dimensional in their roles as killers etc. The humor is dark and the action sometimes is "over the top" (stealing a convenient helicopter for which an assassin happens to be able to fly and using it to hit her target) but, if you know that going into a Gischler book, you aren't going to be disappointed. I quibble a bit with the ending...not that it was a surprise...but for the fact that all sins do not necessarily need to be expiated.
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Inside This Book (learn more)
Key Phrases - Statistically Improbable Phrases (SIPs): (learn more)
middle sister, man with the voice, vine rows
Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Victor Gischler, Andrew Foley, Nikki Enders, Enrique Mars, Mike Foley, Jack Sprat, Baby Sister, New York, Louis Ortega, Vincent Minelli, Meredith Cornwall Jenkins, Big Sister, New Orleans, Mike Mike, Big Billy Romano, Anthony Minelli, Juice Luciano, Dan Foley, Garden District, Pizza Boy
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