SHOULD supports readers in their elimination of eight phrases: I should, I have to, I must, and I ought to -- which create obligation, I need and I m trying -- which create frustration, I can't and I have no choice -- which create self-restriction. If we tell ourselves every day that we are obligated, frustrated, and restricted, we live our lives with an expectation of the oppression they create.
When we eliminate self-oppressing language from our vocabularies, we begin to reclaim Self. When should is no longer an option for us, we ask ourselves, "What do I want?" When we no longer have the luxury of trying, we figure out how to do instead. When we no longer believe we can't, we see endless ways in which we can.
Our habits of language create our experiences whether we want them to or not. SHOULD teaches readers how to trade verbal habits that create self-oppression for habits that bring them back to themselves again and again.
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Book Description
SHOULD: How Habits of Language Shape Our Lives is the most practical guide to self-development to come along in years.
Editorial Reviews
About the Author
Historians write books about comedians -- comedians write books about shop-girls -- and, as it turns out, shop-girls write books about language. It makes one wonder what credentials are for.
Rebecca Smith has worked as an English teacher in Milwaukee and a wardrobe consultant in Minneapolis. A first time author, she is quietly building a reputation as a intimate, entertaining, and compelling speaker. She lives in Minneapolis with her young daughter.
Rebecca Smith has worked as an English teacher in Milwaukee and a wardrobe consultant in Minneapolis. A first time author, she is quietly building a reputation as a intimate, entertaining, and compelling speaker. She lives in Minneapolis with her young daughter.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
My Eyes are Open,
By A Customer
This review is from: Should: How Habits of Language Shape Our Lives (Paperback)
I was astonsished to realize how powerfully the things I say every day are creating undesirable outcomes in my life. It's amazing that something so simple, unconscious, and commonplace can be so powerful. What I like best about this book is that the reader takes away a practice he or she can do for life. I love the idea of living the rest of my life completely free from the effects of should, have to, must, need, try, can't, and the rest.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Brilliant Book About Our use of Language,
Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)
This review is from: Should: How Habits of Language Shape Our Lives (Paperback)
*****
Although this book is brief, it is thorough, with expalnations and exercises and examples throughout. Basically, the book is about changing our language so that what we create with our words is very intentional---specifically, eliminating words and phrases like "should, have to, ought, try, need, have no choice, can't" and replacing them with "want to " or "desire". The author illustrates precisely how our negative and inaccurate words create a language of oppression (lack, limiation, impotence, obligation, inauthenticity) from some "unseen Other" instead of simply (or sometimes not so simply) taking responsiblity for our own words. The concept is explored in depth. Of course, we must change our thinking about these words/concepts first, and this is also addresssed in an equally straight-forward, practical manner. If you are someone who cares about what you create with your words, you'll love this book. If, on the other hand, you don't care about what you create with your language, I doubt you'll find much of interest here; save your money and pursue other activities that interest you. If you never thought much about if or how you create with your words, you'll still get much from it. Fantastic amount of information with extremely useful exercises covered in a succinct, interesting manner. I highly recommend it, especially to writers, psychologists, coaches, anyone who speaks publicly, or anyone who wants to be clear and intentional with their speech. Can be life-changing for those of us (like me) whose language choices are used daily in effecting personal transformation. *****
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Helpful and worthwhile!,
By Jennifer Louden "Best-selling author, life co... (Bainbridge Island, WA USA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)
This review is from: Should: How Habits of Language Shape Our Lives (Paperback)
Rebecca has identified the vital importance of shoulds, have tos, and must haves as an internal oppressor we can learn to root out to find our way to true desire. A really powerful, clear guide.
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