The Shy Single: A Bold Guide to Dating for the Less-than-Bold Dater [Paperback]

Bonnie Jacobson Ph.D. (Author), Sandra J. Gordon (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 12, 2004

Nearly 50 percent of adults in the United States describe themselves as chronically shy, and an even larger number are single. These numbers prove what we already know: There are a lot of us sitting home alone, letting the dating world pass us by. But it doesn't have to be that way!

In The Shy Single, New York psychologist Bonnie Jacobson outlines her breakthrough program that helps shy men and women securely maneuver any social situation. At the heart of the book is her confidence-boosting plan for managing the three stages of a shyness attack A dating profile quiz, journaling exercises, cumulative courage-rating scores, and real testimonies from Dr. Jacobson's extraordinarily popular shyness workshops round out the "coach's corner" advice for shy daters on how to:
- Work a room and get past awkward introductions
- Participate in dinner conversations and bridge uncomfortable silences
- Ask someone out
- End a date gracefully
- Handle sexual advances

The aim of The Shy Single is not to make us un-shy, but to enable us to function despite our pounding hearts and sweaty palms. With small, manageable steps, we can gain self-assurance and learn how to finesse awkward or possibly embarrassing situations. Navigate a room with small talk? No problem. Ask out a coworker? No sweat. Make the first move in an intimate situation? You bet. From going online to declining a second date to determining whether we've found "the one," Dr. Jacobson shows us that dating happiness isn't just for other, more outgoing people--it's for us.

Editorial Reviews

Review

". . . Jacobson's compassion, wisdom, and boldness connects to the shy reader. Singles . . . will gather courage to make new attachments." -- Myrna Weissman, Ph.D., professor of epidemiology in psychiatry and chief of the Division of Clinical and Genetic Epidemiology at Columbia University

"The Shy Single is required reading for anybody navigating the difficult terrain of meeting and dating in these challenging times." -- Linda Carter, Ph.D., director of the Family Studies Program at New York University Child Study Center

"Dr. Jacobson offers the shy single a sensitive, thoughtful, and practical approach to breaking out of the shell of shyness." -- Bonnie Maslin, Ph.D., psychologist and author of Picking Your Battles: Winning Strategies for Raising Well-Behaved Kids

"Jacobson offers clear, concise, and, most important, realistic dating advice for shy singles of all ages . . ." -- Bernardo J. Carducci, Ph.D., director of the Shyness Research Institute, professor of psychology at Indiana University Southeast, and author of The Shyness Breakthrough

"[Dr. Jacobson's] approach is eminently practical and potentially beneficial for all who struggle with shyness . . . accessible to everyone." -- Harold S. Bernard, Ph.D., president of the American Group Psychotherapy Association and clinical associate professor of psychiatry at New York University School of Medicine

About the Author

Dr. Bonnie Jacobson is a spokesperson for the American Psychological Association, an adjunct professor of applied psychology at New York University, and the director of the New York Institute for Psychological Change. In private practice for over 30 years, she has been conducting shyness workshops for singles for more than a decade. She lives in New York City with her husband.

Sandra J. Gordon is a formerly shy single who writes frequently about health for such magazines as Fitness, Woman's Day, More, Child, and Parents. She lives in Connecticut with her husband and daughters.

Product Details

• Paperback: 223 pages
• Publisher: Rodale Books (June 12, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1579548695
• ISBN-13: 978-1579548698
• Product Dimensions: 8.5 x 5.9 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (10 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #590,938 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

47 of 52 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Helpful for breaking through dating anxiety, July 12, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: The Shy Single: A Bold Guide to Dating for the Less-than-Bold Dater (Paperback)

I gave this book to a self-described "shy" good friend, who just never got out, even though he really wanted to meet someone. I was completely amazed. He's dating someone special now. I asked him if it was a coincidence. He said, no--that, in fact, THE SHY SINGLE, really helped him manage his shyness. The book gives concrete tips for managing shyness every step along the way, when you first meet someone, after you've been chatting awhile, and down the line, when you're in a real relationship. I recommend this book to anyone who is shy, and can't get a date. My friend is completely changed. It took him about three months to put the tips into practice, but it paid off. The woman he met is great, and I can tell that he's really happy.

32 of 37 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Darn Good!, December 29, 2004

By 

J. D. Worth (Sioux Falls, S. D. , USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: The Shy Single: A Bold Guide to Dating for the Less-than-Bold Dater (Paperback)

I'll preface this with a short bio: I am average/handsome, 5 foot 11 inches, 35 years old, not overweight...and have been 'alone' for well over 3 to 5 years now. A classic "Shy Guy."
This is a great book for those of us "Shys" needing a step by step plan to come out of the shell. I just finished the book, and the insights and suggestions made by the author are realistic and do-able. This is not a book you read once then suddenly your cured. Sorry people, no such thing. It is going to take work. Just don't give up, and don't do this half-heartedly, effort will be rewarded.
I know that I'll be re-reading, leafing through, and referencing different parts of this book as I use this and other aides to overcome my shyness. I'll be writing recommendations on other self help books that have been added to my library, and added to my goal of overcoming shyness, in the near future. (Written 12/2004)

13 of 14 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great guide for personalizing your dating strategy, May 12, 2006

By 

Bree T (Chicago) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Shy Single: A Bold Guide to Dating for the Less-than-Bold Dater (Paperback)

I found this book really helpful for personalizing my dating strategies. I wanted to put myself out there without feeling vulnerable or awkward and this book helped me develop some strategies that feel doable. I now go out two to three times and week and if anything, I'm no longer sitting in my apartment, waiting for the world to come to me. It's empowering.