Customer Reviews

Shyness: A Bold New Approach

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

Carducci`s book on shyness opened up a new world for me, years of painful first encounters and the turmoil of being afraid. The inability I had to make the simplest amount of small talk kept me from making new friends and being more successful in my career. Those days are over, I now understand that there is a whole new world out there for me to discover and enjoy.I am no longer afraid. I will only hope others who are shy will find this book so, that their worlds may be alive like mine is now!

I studied five popular books on shyness in the past few months, and I like Carducci's because his approach is based on intimate, detailed knowledge of shy people, as well as on his involvement with a Shyness clinic. Other books approached shyness from the point of view of theory (e.g. cognitiv/behavioral or psychodynamic) and missed the many methods of managing shyness that come directly from knowing shy people well. Two things I found overwhelmingly strong: 1) he works from a strengths perspective, looking at shyness not as a deficit, but as a personality trait whose inhibiting effect can be greatly reduced with dedicated individual effort, and 2) he has a method which is clear, goes step-by-step without the need for professional guidance, and is extremely easy to follow. It does take work....but you can get to "the successfully shy life."

I'm not as bad as some of the people he talks about in the book, but I certainly found a lot of examples that hit pretty close to home. Some of what he talks about being common for shy people was suprizing to me, such as having a much harder time communicating in loud places like bars. I always thought it was just me.
I also liked that he doesn't see shyness as a problem that needs to be fixed, but helps people who may struggle to become more successful with their shyness. I've always beat myself up about not being outgoing, and it was nice that he doesn't treat shyness like a personality flaw.
I also found it refreshing to learn that shyness isn't like your eye color or something that can't be changed, but rather it's more like a learned pattern of behavior.
The book gives you advice on how to help you cope with your shyness in different situations, such as joining an ongoing conversation, dating, etc.

I had to stop reading this after the first chapter or two. It has a real "blame the victim" tone to it, and basically asserts that shy people are selfish, and think themselves all-important. On the contrary, most shy people have huge problems with self-confidence around others, and yet are some of the most generous people around. Don't buy this book if you're shy and are tired of being talked-down to and patronized by somebody who DOES NOT understand shy people and what they experience in life. I'm very shy, and have enough self-respect to put this book back on the shelf.

This book has some good practical advice for people who are on the shy side, but as a very shy person, it did not change much for me. I think that this book would be most helpful to a young shy person, say college age or so, as opposed to someone my age (38) who's shyness is more of a habit. This is a pretty good book, but to expect it to bring more friends to you, or enhance your career is expecting too much. It is an interesting book.

This is the first book I've read on shyness and it's written very well. It seems that books like this are either written for an audience of Ph.D's who perform social research for a living, or for an audience with an 8th grade education. This book is neither - it delivers straight forward content in an articulate fashion that is both easy to grasp and enjoyable to read. I have tried several of the techniques described in the book and so far have had some pretty good luck. I'm very glad I picked this book as there were many to choose from and I basically just randomly selected one.

Excellent book, I highly recommend it. Carducci really makes you realise that you are not alone, though most shy people feel very much separate from the rest of humanity, and that you can learn to be successfully shy.

The book has lots of examples of people who are shy or have become less so. There are sections that may not apply, but that would be the case with any self-help book.

This is a well-written and comprehensive overview of research on shyness at all stages of human development and how it can be applied. However, if one is looking for a very structured and systematic therapeutic approach to alleviating the pain of shyness, s/he will not find it here. Instead, Carducci offers his clinical suggestions in a more casual fashion, incorporating them into the exposition. He covers areas which are significant for shy people, such as work, dating, and parenthood. It is an interesting and useful book.

My conclusion is that the author of this book is extroverted. While he understands shyness, he does not have a comforting voice in this book.

While I am in the middle of my self-discovery and changing of my shy habits, the tone of this book only made me feel more unnatural and "wrong" so I put it down immediately.

Although this book was difficult for me to read (maybe because it is so close to home), I can recommend it for anyone who wants to gain some understanding about their shyness. Carducci not only provides some of the background reasons behind why you might be shy, but also some simple solutions to help you deal with it successfully going forward.

There are a few sections that did not pertain to me such as the shyness in your child section but I found the majority of this book helpful and informative even though it took me a while to get through the book.