Shyness: A Bold New Approach [Hardcover]

Susan Golant (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: December 30, 1998

In Shyness, Bernardo J. Carducci, Ph.D., draws on more than twenty years of research to penetrate the many myths and mysteries surrounding shyness. Through compelling case studies, a comprehensive presentation of the latest discoveries, and numerous self-help strategies and self-assessment quizzes, Dr. Carducci helps to enlighten and encourage shy people who feel isolated and misunderstood. In Shyness, Carducci explains the basic principles of shyness; discuses the psychical, mental, and emotional expressions of shyness; and explores the biological, psychological, and societal roots of this trait. In addition, Dr. Carducci traces the manifestations of shyness at different life stages. In an age of instantaneous, on-line electronic interpersonal relationships, he outlines the specific challenges facing shy individuals in contemporary society.

Shyness is not about transforming shy people into extroverts. Its principal mission is to promote what Dr. Carducci calls "the successfully shy life"one of self-awareness, self-acceptance, and self-confidence. He provides such easy-to-implement strategies as:

managing your shyness when meeting new people

managing your shyness at work

making small talk

initiating romantic relationships

parenting shy children

What is shyness? What causes it? Are we born shy or do we become shy? Is there a cure?

Shyness affects millions of usnearly half the population describes itself as shyand between 76 and 95 percent of us, though not shy now, have been shy at some point in our lives.

Shy Facts

Shy children are not destined to be shy adults.

Shyness does not equal low self-esteem.

Shyness is not a "disease," personality deficit, or character flaw.

Humans aren't the only species to experience shyness. Scientist have been studying she cattle as well as shy cats, shy fish, and shy dogs.

Some of the world's most famous, richest, smartest, and bravest people are shy.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Psychology professor Carducci defines shyness as a "personality trait" rather than as an emotional disorder or mental illness. In fact, he asserts, nearly everyone suffers from shyness to some degree and at some time in life. For some, due to combinations of biology, environment, experience and psychology, shyness can cause a lot of trouble. Acknowledging the handicap this trait can become, particularly in current Western culture, Carducci attempts "not to turn introverts into extroverts" but rather to teach readers to live a "successfully shy life." Beginning with a questionnaire to determine the reader's level of shyness and its impact on daily life, Carducci suggests many techniques for coping with specific social, workplace and personal situations, including meetings, interviews, dates, speeches, presentations, networking and party small talk. He recommends keeping a "shy life journal" in which to record experiences and resolutions for "expanding your comfort zone." Carducci also includes descriptions of pertinent brain activity and useful information for parents and teachers of shy children.
Copyright 1998 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"Bernardo J. Carducci has written a hopeful, inspiring book that helps shy people to overcome self-defeating behaviors, respect their unique qualities, and lead lives filled with greater intimacy and self-acceptance. I highly recommend it!" -- John Gray, Author Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus

"Shyness is a rare treat for all those who are currently or formerly shy. Bernie Carducci beautifully blends a personal concern for helping shy children and adults with useful advice based on sound research and clinical wisdom. It is surely the best book on the subject since my own appeared many years ago." -- Philip G. Zimbardo, author of Shyness: What It Is, What to Do About It

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 400 pages
• Publisher: Harper; 1 edition (December 30, 1998)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060182474
• ISBN-13: 978-0060182472
• Product Dimensions: 9.4 x 6.2 x 1.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.5 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (16 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,105,645 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

104 of 110 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Concise, easy to understand, and utlimately life changing., January 7, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Shyness: A Bold New Approach (Hardcover)

Carducci`s book on shyness opened up a new world for me, years of painful first encounters and the turmoil of being afraid. The inability I had to make the simplest amount of small talk kept me from making new friends and being more successful in my career. Those days are over, I now understand that there is a whole new world out there for me to discover and enjoy.I am no longer afraid. I will only hope others who are shy will find this book so, that their worlds may be alive like mine is now!

48 of 52 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars carducci's approach is empowering, November 14, 2000

By 

Donald R. Fleck (Brooklyn, NY USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Shyness: A Bold New Approach (Paperback)

I studied five popular books on shyness in the past few months, and I like Carducci's because his approach is based on intimate, detailed knowledge of shy people, as well as on his involvement with a Shyness clinic. Other books approached shyness from the point of view of theory (e.g. cognitiv/behavioral or psychodynamic) and missed the many methods of managing shyness that come directly from knowing shy people well. Two things I found overwhelmingly strong: 1) he works from a strengths perspective, looking at shyness not as a deficit, but as a personality trait whose inhibiting effect can be greatly reduced with dedicated individual effort, and 2) he has a method which is clear, goes step-by-step without the need for professional guidance, and is extremely easy to follow. It does take work....but you can get to "the successfully shy life."

19 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very interesting and helpful, May 26, 2005

By 

L. Hilton - See all my reviews
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Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Shyness: A Bold New Approach (Paperback)

I'm not as bad as some of the people he talks about in the book, but I certainly found a lot of examples that hit pretty close to home. Some of what he talks about being common for shy people was suprizing to me, such as having a much harder time communicating in loud places like bars. I always thought it was just me.
I also liked that he doesn't see shyness as a problem that needs to be fixed, but helps people who may struggle to become more successful with their shyness. I've always beat myself up about not being outgoing, and it was nice that he doesn't treat shyness like a personality flaw.
I also found it refreshing to learn that shyness isn't like your eye color or something that can't be changed, but rather it's more like a learned pattern of behavior.
The book gives you advice on how to help you cope with your shyness in different situations, such as joining an ongoing conversation, dating, etc.