Customer Reviews

Sibling Grief: Healing after the Death of a Sister or Brother

5 star:		(6)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

If siblings are called the forgotten mourners, here is one place where they are remembered. P. Gill White, director of the Sibling Connection, writes about the issues that we deal with on a daily basis and offers hope for healing. The book is a mixture of material--research based information, wisdom from other bereaved siblings, the author's own story, material from survivors who have been helped in therapy, legends, poetry.

I loved the legend of the tear jar and the legend of the loneliness birds--these and the poetry greatly enriched the book.

I particularly liked the section on dreams and I can foresee others wanting to study this section with a view to their own healing or even further research. The book made me feel understood and I wanted to give it to my friends.

I felt that this book better summed up the way one feels after the loss of a sibling than some others I have read over the past few years. It was less of a persoanl account of the author's own grief and more of a research based approach to the grief process one goes through as a sibling who has lost another sibling. Other books I have read were more like personal childhood stories from the author, which helped me in no way at all. I appreciated this book and found it very helpful in dealing with and understanding my own grief. It comforted me to know that it is natural to feel this way and that others feel the same way.

Gill White does an outstanding job in this much needed book about sibling loss. This book has been my savior. It is in essence years of councling in one book. The author explores every avenue of sibling loss at any age and it's profound effects on the surivors lives. She also explores the ignorance in society on this topic. Excelent reading material.

As a surviving sibling I found this book contained a lot of information about how we respond to a brother or sister's death. I recognised some clear patterns of behaviour that definitely applied to me. It contains information on how siblings of all ages respond and while I would have liked more detail on the section that particularly applied to myself, I found reading the other sections very interesting too as they gave me some insight into how my other siblings may have been affected.

If you have never grieved for a close family member and had a recent death of a brother or sister. Strange things may be happening to you and in your mind. This is the book for you. It was a tremendous help for me to understand what was happening to me after several months after my brother passed. Get it now and read it twice!!! You will not be sorry.

I lost my big brother (59) within 3 weeks! Due to a massive stroke. I am the youngest, the little sister (56). I miss him so much. This book hones in on exactly how I am feeling. True, there are books and cards for the loss of a parent, spouse, or child, but not the sibling. I don't get it. I read this book over and over, I don't know how you can get over the loss of a sibling when you have a close bond.

This book tries to cover the gamut and cover the loss as a child, adolescent and adult. But she spends the first few chapters outlining how different of an experience it is at different ages. I would recommend it, but I didn't feel it spoke quite as directly to me because a lot of what was being addressed was for people who lost a sibling as a child or parents who were looking to help their children cope. I found "Surviving the Death of a Sibling" by TJ Wray much more helpful, as the focus was entirely on Adult Sibling Loss.

This book combines research, clinical experience, poetry, myth and personal experiences of the author and of other bereaved siblings. It is powerful compilation of information, written in a compact, highly readable style. White acknowledges the profound grief of sibling loss. She offers bereaved siblings both hope and practical advice for healing.

The book offers compelling support for those grieving the loss of a sibling. For example, the chapter, 'Five Healing Tasks', facilitates healing after the death of a brother or sister by providing useful and realistic grief work under these sub-headings:

Learning about sibling loss and the grief process
Allowing yourself to grieve
Connecting with other bereaved siblings
Telling your story
Finding meaning in the loss

The chapter on bibliotherapy (reading as a way of healing) discusses ways bereaved siblings can gain insight and inspiration through books and movies. White includes a thorough and well chosen annotated booklist to help the reader find other helpful books.

White's writing style is accessible and organized. She successfully combines personal observation with diverse outside sources. The book held my interest from beginning to end.

White's stunning poem about her own grief is, in my opinion, worth the price of the book:

Sorrow

She rises out of nowhere, like a wave from the sea,
Slowly at first, silently, then crests and peaks;
Still I have a choice
I can turn away, go to work, watch a movie, play a game...

But I know sorrow well.
Though I turn away, she will wait,
perfectly patient,
until I am still,
then crush me with all her accumulated power.

Once I had angry walls to shut her out,
But her incessant pounding tore them down.
So now, when she rises,
I turn to her and say,
Here I am, I know you, sorrow.
She crashes on my shoreline,
And sorrow and I are one
Until, trailing frothy whitecaps,
She sweeps away.

P. G. White

I read this book after losing my brother, my best friend. Inspiring and educational.

Sibling Grief was "right on", and helped me to understand that what I was feeling, was OK, and caused the same emotions in others. It feels good to "not be alone" in how we handle the losses in our life, and to know that others are right there with us, almost as if we had all met.