Side by Side: The Revolutionary Mother-Daughter Program for Conflict-Free Communication [Kindle Edition]

Charles Sophy (Author), Brown Kogen (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Review

“This book directs you on a path to connect mother to daughter or vice versa. It is a marvelous gift. ”

Product Description

Moms and daughters.

They can go from best friends to mortal enemies with breakneck speed. From boyfriends to curfews and from outfits to eating habits, mothers and daughters often end up in conflict about everything. Now with Side by Side, mothers finally have a proven program to help navigate their relationship with their daughters of any age.

Dr. Charles Sophy has dedicated his career to the physical and mental health of children and families from all walks of life. Through hundreds of consultations, he found the most promising and most problematic family dynamic is that between mother and daughter.

Side by Side introduces the Four Truths of every mother-daughter relationship and a revolutionary communication approach called the Chair Strategy. This mom-driven strategy is designed to harness her power to resolve even the most volatile situations with love, understanding, and respect. It provides a concrete visual of the way mothers and daughters communicate, revealing that at all times, moms and daughters approach each other in one of three positions:

• back-to-back—when mom and daughter are at odds, neither looking at one another or listening to what the other is saying
• face-to-face—when they are discussing an issue openly, honestly, and with respect, regardless of whether they agree or not
• side-by-side—when both are looking in the same direction, sharing the same perspective

Dr. Sophy reveals how to develop the essential skill for identifying your current position and then moving you and your daughter toward the best position for achieving a productive outcome.

Being a mom is hard work, and this practical and accessible explanation of the most important role you will ever play steers you through even the roughest waters, including the hot-button issues of sex, money, and divorce. With exercises, guided conversations, journaling, and real-world stories, this book takes the mother-daughter relationship, regardless of its current state, and leads it toward a new level of understanding, love, and true connection. Side by Side is the pivotal first step to having a strong and rewarding relationship with your daughter for years to come.

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Product Details

• Format: Kindle Edition
• File Size: 366 KB
• Publisher: HarperCollins e-books; 1 edition (February 2, 2010)
• Sold by: HarperCollins Publishers
• Language: English
• ASIN: B0035D9USC
• Text-to-Speech: Enabled
• Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (11 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #214,962 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars must read for all, February 3, 2010

By 

Janice Baum (Livingston, NJ) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Side by Side: The Revolutionary Mother-Daughter Program for Conflict-Free Communication (Hardcover)

Side by Side is an excellent resource and no matter who you are you will be able to take away a lot of fantastic ideas and information that Dr. Sophy offers in the book. As a mother, grandmother, and educator for more than 30 years I 've had a lot of experience with mother-daughter relationships and what I really found great about this book besides being written in a way which was engaging and thought provoking, was that unlike many of the other books out there, Side by Side is something that can be read just to get a better understanding of your relationship with your daughter or for a specific problem you might experiencing. I'd suggest any mother keep a copy of Side by Side on her bookshelf as it's one of those books you'll keep coming back too over and over again.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars mother of all parenting books, February 3, 2010

By 

mulholland mom (Beverly Hills, CA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Side by Side: The Revolutionary Mother-Daughter Program for Conflict-Free Communication (Hardcover)

I might be a bit biased as I've been a patient of Dr. Sophy's for about 5 years now and what a crazy five years it's been. I first started seeing him right after I got divorced and my daughters were 9 and 11. My ex-husband did not want to be a part of our family nor was he willing to be parent anymore which made things even worse. I suddenly found myself a single parent after nearly 15 years of marriage without a job, without a penny, all we had was our house and each other. In the middle of all this major change a mental health issue which had been at bay for years suddenly became an issue and things were not good. When Dr. Sophy came into my life and then my daughter's lives he was able to to help me and my daughters transition and be able to accept things and keep on going. As time went on and things got better for us other problems set in but nothing out of the ordinary, my daughters were now teenagers and like all teenagers we started to fight ALOT! But once again Dr. Sophy was there for me, for us to see us through. When he first told me about his book I thought great now that my girls are almost ready to go off to college now there is a book for me that would help, but when I started reading it, it was like Dr. Sophy was right there. So many of the things he brings up in this book are the things that we talked about, worked on, worked through our sessions together and to see so much of it all in once place is kind of amazing. It's like if you can't be treated by Dr. Sophy this book is the next best thing. I would say even with all the work we've done together over the years, I learned a lot from reading it and would suggest and mother pick up a copy and add it to your mom toolbox. For someone who isn't the biggest reader in the world, the fact that I read it cover to cover says a lot. Dr. Sophy really knows what he's talking about and he really cares. Thank You Doctor Sophy for sharing your gifts with every mother out there, you are really special.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

2.0 out of 5 stars some decent ideas but mysogynistic too, March 21, 2011

By 

F. Davis "another maveric" (boston, ma) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Side by Side: The Revolutionary Mother-Daughter Program for Conflict-Free Communication (Hardcover)

As a female psychologist, daughter (of course) and mother - I was curious what this book could offer to help mothers and daughters I see in my practice. From the therapeutic perspective, his description of the 3 orientations for communication is worthwhile but while I'd like to be able to offer this book to my clients, I've found the writer's tone to be mysogynistic and condescending.

I'm not sure that a woman hasn't written a book about father/son relationships but I found Dr. Sophy's male psychiatrist perspective to be judgmental rather than compassionate and in areas related to biology - just plain wrong. When he makes comments about the effect of estrogen or condemns a new mother who has struggled to conceive when she becomes upset by an MD telling her that she can't breastfeed - he really skates on thin ice. He then claims that the mom was selfishly pursuing her own agenda to breastfeed, and asserts that formula is just as nourishing. Where is he getting his info???

I also found it more than a little bit creepy that he seems to be lurking around playgrounds looking for moms who have done something he can find to be shameful. Anyhow, I'm about 1/3 of the way through the book but I had to voice my estrogen ire before any other women get triggered or misled.

Perhaps in a later edition a La Leche mom can help him get his facts straight!