Customer Reviews

Side by Side: The Revolutionary Mother-Daughter Program for Conflict-Free Communication

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

Side by Side is an excellent resource and no matter who you are you will be able to take away a lot of fantastic ideas and information that Dr. Sophy offers in the book. As a mother, grandmother, and educator for more than 30 years I 've had a lot of experience with mother-daughter relationships and what I really found great about this book besides being written in a way which was engaging and thought provoking, was that unlike many of the other books out there, Side by Side is something that can be read just to get a better understanding of your relationship with your daughter or for a specific problem you might experiencing. I'd suggest any mother keep a copy of Side by Side on her bookshelf as it's one of those books you'll keep coming back too over and over again.

I might be a bit biased as I've been a patient of Dr. Sophy's for about 5 years now and what a crazy five years it's been. I first started seeing him right after I got divorced and my daughters were 9 and 11. My ex-husband did not want to be a part of our family nor was he willing to be parent anymore which made things even worse. I suddenly found myself a single parent after nearly 15 years of marriage without a job, without a penny, all we had was our house and each other. In the middle of all this major change a mental health issue which had been at bay for years suddenly became an issue and things were not good. When Dr. Sophy came into my life and then my daughter's lives he was able to to help me and my daughters transition and be able to accept things and keep on going. As time went on and things got better for us other problems set in but nothing out of the ordinary, my daughters were now teenagers and like all teenagers we started to fight ALOT! But once again Dr. Sophy was there for me, for us to see us through. When he first told me about his book I thought great now that my girls are almost ready to go off to college now there is a book for me that would help, but when I started reading it, it was like Dr. Sophy was right there. So many of the things he brings up in this book are the things that we talked about, worked on, worked through our sessions together and to see so much of it all in once place is kind of amazing. It's like if you can't be treated by Dr. Sophy this book is the next best thing. I would say even with all the work we've done together over the years, I learned a lot from reading it and would suggest and mother pick up a copy and add it to your mom toolbox. For someone who isn't the biggest reader in the world, the fact that I read it cover to cover says a lot. Dr. Sophy really knows what he's talking about and he really cares. Thank You Doctor Sophy for sharing your gifts with every mother out there, you are really special.

As a female psychologist, daughter (of course) and mother - I was curious what this book could offer to help mothers and daughters I see in my practice. From the therapeutic perspective, his description of the 3 orientations for communication is worthwhile but while I'd like to be able to offer this book to my clients, I've found the writer's tone to be mysogynistic and condescending.

I'm not sure that a woman hasn't written a book about father/son relationships but I found Dr. Sophy's male psychiatrist perspective to be judgmental rather than compassionate and in areas related to biology - just plain wrong. When he makes comments about the effect of estrogen or condemns a new mother who has struggled to conceive when she becomes upset by an MD telling her that she can't breastfeed - he really skates on thin ice. He then claims that the mom was selfishly pursuing her own agenda to breastfeed, and asserts that formula is just as nourishing. Where is he getting his info???

I also found it more than a little bit creepy that he seems to be lurking around playgrounds looking for moms who have done something he can find to be shameful. Anyhow, I'm about 1/3 of the way through the book but I had to voice my estrogen ire before any other women get triggered or misled.

Perhaps in a later edition a La Leche mom can help him get his facts straight!

I should have known better than to hope a man could give insights into mother daughter relationships. There was nothing in this book that showed the author understood the unique bond between mothers and daughters. His suggestions were simplistic and could apply to anyone. And those suggestions were incomplete and not helpful. I cannot recommend this book in any way.

As someone all too familiar with one-on-one therapy, I wasn't sure that there would be much left for me to learn. I was wrong! Now I am determined to facilitate the chair strategy with my tween. I feel confident that I am armed with the knowledge of how to navigate what is already appearing to be a very tough road ahead. Charles Sophy and Brown Kogen have taken what is intuitive and placed it in a form that any mom can easily understand and implement.

Side by Side is a comfortable read and achieves an admirable balance between clinical and practical. The clinical includes up-front work to get yourself somewhat in order before tackling your relationship with your daughter (first 1/3 of the book) and a simple yet helpful visual in the chair strategy (second 1/3 of the book and genesis of its title). The practical includes hot-button issues of sex, money and divorce (third 1/3 of the book), and exercises and terrific stories sprinkled throughout. The stories range from patients to strangers in airports, and bring Dr. Sophy's messages home in oftentimes touching ways. In reading this book you're simultaneously entertained and educated.

I purchased and read this book and then forwarded to a family member who could defintiely be enlightened by this book. The family member stated that this book is outstanding. Also, commented that the physician who wrote the book knows what he is talking about.

Very important book for any mother to read. My daughters are 31 and 33 and I am giving it to them because their daughters are very young and maybe it will help them avoid the same mistakes that I made.

From the TV interviews with the author, I expected the book to include more on adult Mother-Daughter relationships. Otherwise, a helpful and informative book.

The clear and healing words of this book are important to any of us who are working to understand the women in our lives. Certainly this includes understanding ourselves.
If you are going to read only one book this year - I say make it Side By Side. P. Lessinger