57 of 57 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Hit me where it hurts, February 10, 2001
This review is from: The Silence of Adam: Becoming Men of Courage in a World of Chaos (Paperback)
I read this book at a critical point in my life, and it has had a profound effect on how I view myself and my role as a husband. I recommend this for any man about to be married or enter another phase of their life. The authors describe how men have fallen, and throw a new (for me) twist into the old Adam and Eve story. Instead of depicting Eve as being deceived and then subsequently deceiving Adam, the book describes that Adam was there the whole time, yet said and did nothing. (Hence the book title: Silence of Adam.) The book goes on to describe many different ways men compensate for their weaknesses and inability to have all the answers by often acting in ways which harm themselves and others. What struck a deep chord with me is the way the book describes how to react or act in those times when there are no answers. The chapter "Men Who Fight Darkness" was especially powerful in that it depicts the harm in trying to fix something, or act, when the only way out is to trust and be still. Typically, my response to situations which I cannot resolve is to try something, anything. I resist being patient and waiting for situations I cannot control to unfold naturally. The book illustrates some excellent examples of the damage this causes, and the healing and success a different approach may bring. I liked the way he described how "We begin to face the loneliness of choice, the terror of trust". In the chapter titled "Recipe Theology" the author describes common responses like being a recovery addict ("How can I FEEL better"?) or a grim legalist ("How can I DO better"?), and how we "either become pre-occupied with feeling good or we feel pressured to do good. Neither lifts us up into God's larger story or invites us to participate in it". Very challenging words. I really enjoyed this book (though not always as at times I saw too much of myself in it) and would recommend it highly if read with an open mind and some self honesty.
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45 of 55 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars
Valuable, though flawed, April 1, 2000
This review is from: The Silence of Adam: Becoming Men of Courage in a World of Chaos (Paperback)
While I have tremendous respect for Dr. Larry Crabb and his work, I was disappointed by this book. It does highlight important issues related to men, but I believe it goes too far in making the Creation account fit into the male-female relationship model for the book. Although effort is given to demonstrate Crabb's point by appealing to the original biblical languages, the overall tone is more isogetical than I am comfortable with. The fall of man is not about the failure of man to speak order into chaos. It is about the first Adam breaking the covenant of works God establshed and setting the stage for the coming of the second Adam, Christ, who establshed the covenant of grace. What Crabb describes is one among a number of symptoms of the Fall. Having said that, the book accurately describes the problems men often endure because of their failure to communicate, to speak out, and to establish biiblical order in themselves and their world. I just think the point could have been made equally well without forcing Scripture into a model that doesn't appear to match its original intent. Having been so warned, it has valuable points to make.
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Becoming a balanced Christian man - is it all on me?, January 11, 2007
This review is from: The Silence of Adam: Becoming Men of Courage in a World of Chaos (Paperback)
I've enjoyed a couple of Dr. Crabb's books, so I looked forward to his take on manhood in "The Silence of Adam." As expected, I was challenged and encouraged by his insights. However, I also felt frustrated by some of his perspectives (there are two coauthors who contribute their own personal stories of dealing with Adam's silence, but for simplicity's sake I'll cite Dr. Crabb as the author).
The theme of this book takes off from Adam's part in the Fall. Dr. Crabb claims that Adam's silence during Eve's temptation has haunted men down through the ages. Silence represents our fearful retreat from Biblical manhood into one of two extremes: neediness (a corruption of sensitivity) or toughness (a corruption of strength). Neediness equates to withdrawal and passivity, while toughness is exemplified by control and dominance. The ideal, as lived out by Christ, is a balance between sensitivity and strength. How is this balance achieved? I found some help with that, but experienced some misgivings as well.
On the one hand, I appreciated Dr. Crabb's call for a return to the Biblical basics of a God-centered life. I echo his frustration with bullet-point healing methodologies and self-help gurus with pat answers and principles to make life work our way. He calls this controlling and ultimately futile approach "Recipe Theology." Instead, Christian men should embrace "Transcendent Theology" that acknowledges the uncertainty of life and advocates a constant seeking of God. Dr. Crabb sums it up like this: "We don't believe the Bible provides a plan for making life work as we think it should. We think it offers a reason to keep on going even when life doesn't work that way (p. 13)." Amen. The ideal of persevering in God through the chaos of existence while investing in others is admirable. And I was uplifted by the transparency of all three authors, each of whom shared stories about their own struggles with fear and chaos.
However, I was a bit disappointed with some of Dr. Crabb's conclusions. First, I was put off by his descriptions of weak men vs. men of God. He provides many anecdotal examples of how the weak man errs on the side of either sensitivity or toughness. But the man of God appears to respond perfectly, internally and externally. This Zen-like attitude towards tribulation doesn't square with reality. If a situation doesn't prompt internal distress (like a dark night of the soul, for example), then why seek God about it? Isn't it possible that internal angst - and even failure - at any time in our life is part of the growth process and therefore glorifies God? Job was considered to be righteous, yet he displayed anguish and recrimination in his trial, and even demanded the right to cross-examine God. It took a face-to-face confrontation with Him before Job came to a new place of acceptance. Perhaps as with Job, things are going on behind the scenes that we don't know about or cannot comprehend.
That leads into my second issue. The author's answer to the fundamental question of, "how much is us, and how much is God?" seems to put the onus on us. Everything comes down to the choices we make in a difficult situation. I also believe in personal responsibility, but aside from some cursory discussion Mr. Crabb avoids emphasizing God's part in our growth or His transforming grace as applied to our sins. Doesn't His unknowable sovereign will figure into the proceedings? Can't His grace woo me away from my depravity and the fruits of the Holy Spirit change me in spite of myself? I would've liked to have seen more discussion of God's role in our transformation, especially since too much prodding toward right action and thought can lead to legalism and performance-based Christianity.
Overall, despite my 4-star leaning I have mixed feelings about "The Silence of Adam." I applaud Dr. Crabb's stand in favor of God-centered transcendent theology vs. me-centered recipe theology. I was also challenged by the author's focus on the relational aspect of Christianity, both with God and other people. These are two key elements of our faith that must come to the fore. However, I was disappointed by his focus on an unattainable male ideal and lack of emphasis on God's part in our sanctification. I certainly recommend reading "The Silence of Adam," but make sure you augment it with something like Philip Yancey's "What's So Amazing About Grace?"
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