Customer Reviews

The Silence of Adam: Becoming Men of Courage in a World of Chaos

5 star:		(11)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I read this book at a critical point in my life, and it has had a profound effect on how I view myself and my role as a husband. I recommend this for any man about to be married or enter another phase of their life. The authors describe how men have fallen, and throw a new (for me) twist into the old Adam and Eve story. Instead of depicting Eve as being deceived and then subsequently deceiving Adam, the book describes that Adam was there the whole time, yet said and did nothing. (Hence the book title: Silence of Adam.) The book goes on to describe many different ways men compensate for their weaknesses and inability to have all the answers by often acting in ways which harm themselves and others. What struck a deep chord with me is the way the book describes how to react or act in those times when there are no answers. The chapter "Men Who Fight Darkness" was especially powerful in that it depicts the harm in trying to fix something, or act, when the only way out is to trust and be still. Typically, my response to situations which I cannot resolve is to try something, anything. I resist being patient and waiting for situations I cannot control to unfold naturally. The book illustrates some excellent examples of the damage this causes, and the healing and success a different approach may bring. I liked the way he described how "We begin to face the loneliness of choice, the terror of trust". In the chapter titled "Recipe Theology" the author describes common responses like being a recovery addict ("How can I FEEL better"?) or a grim legalist ("How can I DO better"?), and how we "either become pre-occupied with feeling good or we feel pressured to do good. Neither lifts us up into God's larger story or invites us to participate in it". Very challenging words. I really enjoyed this book (though not always as at times I saw too much of myself in it) and would recommend it highly if read with an open mind and some self honesty.

While I have tremendous respect for Dr. Larry Crabb and his work, I was disappointed by this book. It does highlight important issues related to men, but I believe it goes too far in making the Creation account fit into the male-female relationship model for the book. Although effort is given to demonstrate Crabb's point by appealing to the original biblical languages, the overall tone is more isogetical than I am comfortable with. The fall of man is not about the failure of man to speak order into chaos. It is about the first Adam breaking the covenant of works God establshed and setting the stage for the coming of the second Adam, Christ, who establshed the covenant of grace. What Crabb describes is one among a number of symptoms of the Fall. Having said that, the book accurately describes the problems men often endure because of their failure to communicate, to speak out, and to establish biiblical order in themselves and their world. I just think the point could have been made equally well without forcing Scripture into a model that doesn't appear to match its original intent. Having been so warned, it has valuable points to make.

I've enjoyed a couple of Dr. Crabb's books, so I looked forward to his take on manhood in "The Silence of Adam." As expected, I was challenged and encouraged by his insights. However, I also felt frustrated by some of his perspectives (there are two coauthors who contribute their own personal stories of dealing with Adam's silence, but for simplicity's sake I'll cite Dr. Crabb as the author).

The theme of this book takes off from Adam's part in the Fall. Dr. Crabb claims that Adam's silence during Eve's temptation has haunted men down through the ages. Silence represents our fearful retreat from Biblical manhood into one of two extremes: neediness (a corruption of sensitivity) or toughness (a corruption of strength). Neediness equates to withdrawal and passivity, while toughness is exemplified by control and dominance. The ideal, as lived out by Christ, is a balance between sensitivity and strength. How is this balance achieved? I found some help with that, but experienced some misgivings as well.

On the one hand, I appreciated Dr. Crabb's call for a return to the Biblical basics of a God-centered life. I echo his frustration with bullet-point healing methodologies and self-help gurus with pat answers and principles to make life work our way. He calls this controlling and ultimately futile approach "Recipe Theology." Instead, Christian men should embrace "Transcendent Theology" that acknowledges the uncertainty of life and advocates a constant seeking of God. Dr. Crabb sums it up like this: "We don't believe the Bible provides a plan for making life work as we think it should. We think it offers a reason to keep on going even when life doesn't work that way (p. 13)." Amen. The ideal of persevering in God through the chaos of existence while investing in others is admirable. And I was uplifted by the transparency of all three authors, each of whom shared stories about their own struggles with fear and chaos.

However, I was a bit disappointed with some of Dr. Crabb's conclusions. First, I was put off by his descriptions of weak men vs. men of God. He provides many anecdotal examples of how the weak man errs on the side of either sensitivity or toughness. But the man of God appears to respond perfectly, internally and externally. This Zen-like attitude towards tribulation doesn't square with reality. If a situation doesn't prompt internal distress (like a dark night of the soul, for example), then why seek God about it? Isn't it possible that internal angst - and even failure - at any time in our life is part of the growth process and therefore glorifies God? Job was considered to be righteous, yet he displayed anguish and recrimination in his trial, and even demanded the right to cross-examine God. It took a face-to-face confrontation with Him before Job came to a new place of acceptance. Perhaps as with Job, things are going on behind the scenes that we don't know about or cannot comprehend.

That leads into my second issue. The author's answer to the fundamental question of, "how much is us, and how much is God?" seems to put the onus on us. Everything comes down to the choices we make in a difficult situation. I also believe in personal responsibility, but aside from some cursory discussion Mr. Crabb avoids emphasizing God's part in our growth or His transforming grace as applied to our sins. Doesn't His unknowable sovereign will figure into the proceedings? Can't His grace woo me away from my depravity and the fruits of the Holy Spirit change me in spite of myself? I would've liked to have seen more discussion of God's role in our transformation, especially since too much prodding toward right action and thought can lead to legalism and performance-based Christianity.

Overall, despite my 4-star leaning I have mixed feelings about "The Silence of Adam." I applaud Dr. Crabb's stand in favor of God-centered transcendent theology vs. me-centered recipe theology. I was also challenged by the author's focus on the relational aspect of Christianity, both with God and other people. These are two key elements of our faith that must come to the fore. However, I was disappointed by his focus on an unattainable male ideal and lack of emphasis on God's part in our sanctification. I certainly recommend reading "The Silence of Adam," but make sure you augment it with something like Philip Yancey's "What's So Amazing About Grace?"

Great book that addresses the problem that men face everyday. Final conclusion is that we must be men who above everything else pursue a passionate relationship with our creator. No God doesn't usually give specific directions for a problem but when we pursue Him we are being conformed to the image of Christ. Having that relationship with our savior allows us to make godly decisions at all times. This book is a must read.

This book is key for addressing some of the deepest issues men face. One of my top recommendations of all books.

"The Silence of Adam" focuses on the challenges men face and how they can respond to those challenges. While the book does contain some good Bible references, the title focuses mostly on anecdotes of modern struggles facing men.

Crabb does mention some good points:

1. Transcendant theology (abandoning ourselves and let God work as He so chooses) vs. Recipe theology (using "Bible" formulas to solve our everyday problems where the focus is on us instead of God).
2. While men's rallies and meetings are beneficial, a personal one-to-one relationship with God is more important.
3. Instead of trying to light a match find a way out of our own darkness, we are better off staying in the darkness with God and let Him do His work in and through us.

While a good title for addressing men's issues, there are other good ones out there (John Eldredge, Bob Buford, Gordon MacDonald, Henry Blackaby, etc.).

I am a woman. I'm only on page 90-something, but I find this book to be profound. My personal experience tells me that men ARE too passive. Their silence is K I L L I N G their marriages, their children, and MEN's own spirits!! This is not meant to be judgmental, it is just my deep experience!!

My feelings as I read this book ranged from a feeling of awe as I recognized the truth of what Dr. Crabb wrote, to feeling like I wanted to weep and wail in despair as I recalled the pain consequences resulting from the silences of the men in my own life. At times I literally had to close the book and lay down and just ponder what I'd just read. At other times, my soul Y E A R N E D to hear the voice of men begin to break the codes of silence around the world that is permitting evil to exist and grow!

Dr. Crabb not only gave a penetrating analysis of what happened in Genesis, but his examples from other parts of the Bible seem to make amazing sense and seem to reveal UNCOMMON insight into the silence of other men in the Bible. One of the co-authors, Don Hudson, is a professor teaches Hebrew at Western Seminary in Seattle, Washington. I can't imagine Professor Hudson would knowingly let Dr. Crabb come up with a wrong interpretation just to sell the book!!!

From reading this book, I've come to believe that men A R E indeed to speak into situations like God did!!! I see it all so much more clearly now!!! Now that I see these behaviors of the characters who remained silent, I cannot not see!! Once you know the truth, you can't unknow it!! How do you explain these silences!! If you have a better insight, please tell us!!!

I haven't finished the book yet, but I believe that Dr. Crabb is going to indicate that while a man may not always know what to do or say, he should AT THE VERY LEAST SPEAK TO GOD about the situation and not be silent or passive!

I wish that every pastor in America would read this book and would do some heavy preaching on it. I hope that more men will read this book and review it.

The Bible does NOT record that Eve SPOKE to Adam, but that she GAVE him to eat. Heeding the voice of your wife," was the translation. I wonder what the original Hebrew said? Now T H A T would be worth investigating!!!

I believe we can infer that she at least HANDED him the piece of fruit. When she handed him the piece of fruit, why did he not REFUSE it? He at least could have DONE something, like knock the fruit out of her hand. At some point he would have NEEDED to SAY or DO SOMETHING!!! Why did he NOT do this?

I am single, but if I had a husband, I would EXPECT him to say something if I was about to do something wrong. I may have a free will, but as my leader, he has the AUTHORITY and OBLIGATION to tell me he thinks I'm going in the wrong direction. Likewise the wife, also has the authority to voice her concerns. She cannot force her husband to do right, but she certainly SHOULD speak up. It's a two way-street. Each spouse regularly needs the feedback and input of the other. That's just one one of the many unique dimensions of marriage.

I don't sense that the authors are bashing men. They are just rare individuals, who had the courage to SEE and REVEAL what they have seen!!

If I could afford to, I'd buy this book for every man I've ever known and give a copy to every man I'll ever meet in the future.

This book is a rare gem, and sadly it will probably go largely unread and unappreciated. I applaud all the authors for their UNCOMMON courage to be so transparent and BREAK the SILENCE! May God bless them, and may this book help to change the lives of everyone who reads it and those that they love!!

Larry Crabb and his associates describe parts of how they were raised and lived. By example they discovered the world's way of being a man, the wrong way. As they discover the real meaning of being tough and in control, their lives taka a change.

Starts a little slow, but the wait is worth it. In depth, insightful and a marvelous guide for any man and especially one who wants to fulfill his calling.

This is the best self help book for men next to the bible. Over the years I've read it several times to keep focused on manly, christ centered life style.

This is an outstanding book which calls men to be REAL men as intended by our creator, to lead in the darkness and own our mistakes. Awesome!