Customer Reviews

Silent Partner: A Memoir of My Marriage

5 star:		(15)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(10)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

Dina McGreevey has put a face on a situation in which millions of people around the world find themselves--being marrried to a gay man or woman. This book is written with honesty and grace. Dina tells the story of a woman who fell in love and was horribly deceived by a man who couldn't face who he truly was. It is an insiders look at politics and the games politicians play to get ahead--including marrying for the wrong reasons to make themselves more appealing to voters. Dina should be applauded for her bravery in telling her story and letting others know that they are not alone. Last year, her ex-husband was all over the news with the release of his book, which chronicled his journey to "authenticity", but glossed over the pain and devastation he caused to the woman who loved him. Now, it is Dina's turn to tell her side. I don't think readers will have any trouble deciding which of the two is more credible.

This was an excellent book. I, too, was one of the people who wondered how this "stupid" woman could stand by the side of a man who had done what he had done to her. It is explained in the book, and it is a very satisfying and understandable explanation.

Also notable, the author does not bash her husband. Instead, she presents the facts of her husband's behavior and her experience of this behavior, and allows the reader to draw their own conclusions about her husband's character.

This is a very honest, engrossing, and well-written book.

Dina Matos McGreevey has a lot of integrity. Both in the way that she handled the scandal, and even post-scandal -- not writing a book for anything other than (perhaps) therapeutic purposes, and to set the record straight about her character and truth.

I'm glad she wrote the book, and I hope everyone will read it to learn the truth.

No one deserves to be treated the way she was treated -- and I am not even talking about the "gay" revelation. I am talking about the way she was treated throughout the marriage.

I wish Dina Matos McGreevey and Jacqueline all the best. After what they have been through, they sincerely deserve it.

I'm glad that Dina McGreevey decided not to remain silent. She is a brave woman who is on the path to greater things. I watched her on Oprah and thought how well spoken, kind, and loving she was even though she had undergone a gut-wrenching ordeal with ex-husband, and potential presidential candidate Jim McGreevey. We don't need to worry about McGreevey, she is a wonderful example of survival. What goes around comes around and I daresay she may not yet have gotten a husband that she can wholly love, trust, etc. but I'll bet she doesn't get involved with losers such as Jim again. And, Jim, oh yeah... His day is coming too. It hasn't even begun to arrive yet. But he'll get his and it won't be pretty. It's the simple laws of physics! Hang in there Dina, you're a great role model. Few women would have responded so lovingly to the terrible way in which you were treated.

At times, the novel was repetitious, but I did not feel that this detracted from the storyline, as some of the most outrageous conduct of Jim deserved repetition. It totally blew my mind that a husband would keep his present wife away from his ex-wife and his child, who is Dina's step-child, and one with whom she desperately wanted to have a relationship. This should have been huge a red flag! There were definitely times I wondered how Dina could be so naive, but after all is said and done, I prefer to think of her as trusting, loving,and therefore unquestioning and susceptible.

Jim's treatment of Dina reaches an all time low when, after deciding to come out, he spends his time with staff spinning his tale, instead of with Dina making certain that she's going to survive. Jim cares so little for his wife that he doesn't even spend time, after he delivers the bomb to his adoring voting public (with her by his side because he demanded her allegiance and wanted to keep the lie alive), helping her find a way through the black haze that he has created. He's so self-involved that only his issues matter and thus we watch as Dina struggles with her life (as she hoped it would be and as it turns out to be) and then she blossoms and grows into a mature, forgiving, woman with a bright future.

This story isn't about being gay or homophobic. It's about being human, or in Jim's case, inhumane. It's about using people to further your own goals and aims and how that always backfires. Jim is a boorish prig that deserves to be vilified because he has chosen to be the villain.

Good luck to Dina, I hope great things happen for you. Jim, you give guys a bad name and you can go to heck, but I suspect you're already there! I can't see how anyone could read this book without getting emotionally involved---I know it vividly touched my inner feelings of frustration, helplessness, hopelessness, despair, grief, and then all the emotions on the flip side--hope, love, forgiveness, happiness, and power!

I could not put this book down...................Although I questioned some of her actions after "the speech".............like going to the beach, etc. I could understand her feelings. Having experienced a similar situation I know all too well the looks in peoples eyes......."you are intelligent...........how could you have not known". Only someone who has had a relationship with a person who is secretive and evasive can empathize with Dina. The only person he was concerned about was Jim McGreevey ...........he never looked back as to how he had harmed Dina or his two daughters. His "living the truth" was such a lie...............I wish Dina well and hope she finds real happiness with a genuine man in the future..........she deserves it.

As with another reviewer, I read this entire book in two days while floating in my pool. As all of America watched clips of the press conference, we couldn't help but wonder why the wife was there at his side during this announcement. Dina's story tells you what was going on behind the curtain and how the events unfolded.



All marriages ebb and flow and people sometimes become who they truly are in the midst of sharing a life with another person. Dina's story is not unlike all other wives or girlfriends of any type of sex or pornography addicts. The secrets, the lies, the left unsaids are enough to drive one insane, but you never really know the entire truth until something forces it. In this case the blackmailing from the ex-lover, one that was suspiciously appointed to a highly paid position without any qualifications.



Women will especially like this book and even if they haven't gone through something similar can certainly empathize with having to do so under the microscope of the public eye.



The last few chapters outline Dina's reentry back into civilian life, one completely on her own - emotionally and financially. A good point that she makes that shouldn't get lost on the reader is ALWAYS talk to the ex-wife and stay on top of the financial picture in your marriage, as you never know what is going to happen.



Good luck to you Dina. Thanks for sharing your story. You WILL survive this experience.

This book was an easy read, however, that being said I found it difficult that at times I questioned how someone could just not become angry enough to investigate a previous wife of the man she is going to marry. She had to know that she was more than a pretty stand in for him. I think so much less of our previous Governer and the sham he lead us all into. As I mentioned...easy read...left some questions unanswered and hoping that the previous Mrs. McGreevy is doing well as is their daughtger. Worth reading, especially on a vacation at the beach...you'll find yourself shaking your head...life does pitch us a curve ball at times.

This is a great book about not only her struggle, but the struggle of over a half million people in this country. She is getting this issue out there and is speaking for the many women who never have a voice on this issue, and it helping others cope too. She is a strong woman!!

I was up all night reading this book. It was one that I just couldn't put down. My heart goes out to Dina Matos ( I refuse to use the name of that scum bag McGreevy in connection with her) What a useless man her husband was and what a wonderful example she is to women of what they can overcome if they try. I wish her the best in the future. You go girl!!!

I live in MA, and only remember the headlines from this, but what compelled me to buy it is the question I suspect we ALL have in mind when contemplating this book: How did she NOT know? More to the point: Could I not know? ANYTHING? Not just gay, but ANYTHING about my husband, someone with whom I regard myself to have such an intimate relationship. The being "clueless" part is what really fascinated me, and this book was compelling for that with one MINOR, but SIGNIFICANT complaint:

Their sex life was glossed over. I don't want details, for heaven's sake, and I am mindful of the mention of it she did early in the book, and the "pass" she built in for herself saying she would "fade to black" when the narrative led to that, but the problem is that the narrative DIDN'T lead to it during what she so beautifully captured as the daily ebb and flow of their marriage. What WASN'T answered was: How did their sex life CHANGE, if at all, during the escalation to the end? I DON'T WANT DETAILS FOR GOD'S SAKE. What I WANTED was some mention from her that their sex life was CHANGING, and HOW it changed, or DIDN'T change, and that's what the elephant in the room was for me, in this otherwise, incredibly brave and engaging book!

The author goes on and on about things that are not interesting and do not give insight into her marriage. For example, she spends a great deal of time talking about the renovations at the governor's house, or about the fact that she had 2-3 rooms for herself at the hospital. She also goes on an on about her daughter Jacqueline, and comes across as overprotective.
Her search for a new house after the demise of her marriage was one of the most painful parts to read. She comes off as whiny (she refuses to consider renting an apartment, she's too good for that I guess...). Another annoying thing was when she complained that she would not be able to have the state troopers driving her around, and that she would have to figure out what car to buy, where parking lots were and figure out gas mileage! She clearly lived on another planet during her husband's governorship, enjoyed that life very much, and did not want to leave that life behind. Towards the end, she talks more about the lifestyle changes she's going to have to make than her feelings.
All in all, I feel like I have not learned that much about her, her former husband and what went on during their marriage. She clearly is a SILENT partner. She did not share enough to make this a truly interesting political memoir. Comparatively, Jenny Sanford's memoir was more interesting.