Customer Reviews

Silent Sons: A Book for and About Men

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I found this book about a month ago at a used book store for
$5.00. I've read the whole thing except for one chapter about
raising kids because I don't have any.

Granted, there is a lot of the same material covered as you'll find in any of the dozen or so codependence books I've either read all or part of. But there is also some unique material covered from the male angle. So much of the codependence material seems targeted to women and I'm not knocking that but
I think the male thing needs coverage as well.

I think Dr. Ackerman did a good job. But I beleive very much
in the theory which he writes about here....that so much of the
crazy things we do as adults are triggered by something that
happened when we were kids and that we'll be better off if we
can unravel those triggers and thus, defuse them.

Good read.

Paul Bottoms

Honestly, I'm on chapter four. I was searching for any aid I could find to get me through an emotionally and mentally stressing time. After reading the book's preface, I was transfixed and compelled to read this book, because finally there was someone who understood. Understood the situation, and the person, of my life. I've only begun Dr. Ackerman's book, however, I know I have been much more positive and outgoing due to a new feeling of hope, thanks to Silent Sons. The afterthoughts, case examples, facts, and personal thoughts and feelings make this a real and complete book. A real and helpful book. Silent Sons, by Dr. Robert J. Ackerman, breaks down the concept of silent sons all the way helping to rebuild the healthy, fulfilled you.

Author is very detailed in all aspects .
Very helpful in determining your deeper person. Great read prior / during your 4th and 8th step.

I was first referred to "Silent Sons" by a man who felt that it had helped him greatly to recover from his expereince of sexual abuse. Since then I used it for my group work with abused men, mentoring, and as a text for a Sociology course on Men's Studies at The University of Prince Edward Island. I believe that reading this book by a man is like having a good friend with one arm on your shoulder as you take a walk though your life and look at all of your issues in a friendly, yet challenging way that is both constructive and empowering in helping a man to be more authentic and to be free form the learned lies of the past.
I highly recommend "Silent Sons" for personal use by men and for women, THE gift for the men in your life. 902-367-2743

Silent Sons is a treasure-trove of insights for any woman who lives in a world with men who have been damaged by alcoholism and/or codependency. If you have a son who is now an adult and he is still seeing a counselor for his issues with his dad, and if that dad is right this moment dying of alcoholic liver disease, then you need to read this book!

Half of the world is made up of men, and I have met very few of them who are not either themselves victims of addiction or victimized by the addicted fathers who raised them. Women, get into your man-side and read this. You will learn more about the men in your life by reading this than just about anything else you will ever read!

Doesnt write men off as Narcissists or Psychopaths, its more like a caring Uncle who pulls them to one side and shows them how to heal. Wonderful.

Silent Sons
by Robert J. Ackerman
There is no doubt that Ackerman approaches the subject from a compassionate and well intentioned position, and I would even concede that some of the specific concepts and anecdotes contained his book may be of benefit to some people. As genuine as the author's approach and concern for readers, for those with a history of stressful family environments or perhaps even considerable stress and dysfunction in current relationships, the book offers little if any constructive advice and but little discrete or well founded information regarding the subject of those who may exhibit the emotional, or physical problems which have come to be associated with individuals experiencing depression, anxiety, or problematic behaviors. Ackerman's writings are based on a narrow spectrum of popular psychological myth and ambiguous metaphor for which he offers no substantiation or historical background. In addition, the style is one of condescension, what might even be characterized as juvenile and overly simplistic. I would strongly recommend that anyone interested in enlightening themselves or acquiring practical information regarding current physical problems of an emotional or psychological nature, search for another, better informed, possibly even more scientifically founded book. Ackerman promulgates popular misconceptions regarding the natural emotional condition, behavior, and roles of men in Western cultures, discounts or even discourages the positive human dimension of individuality, and implies that spirituality is a mandatory characteristic of psychological 'normalcy' and emotional health. Though I admit my criticisms are hardly qualified here, in that I have not been more specific, let it suffice to say that if you run across a copy of Ackerman's book, indeed, give it a chance and see what you think. Perhaps some of the few testimonials and stories offered, from individuals with stressful and 'dysfunctional' family histories will resonate with you? Will reading this be of benefit? Well, at least you won't feel alone. Before you consider buying the book though, I would suggest brief examination of some alternative works on the same subject before making your decision as to whether it might be worth the time it would take to scan through the contents of this particular book. My rating is no stars though I have indicated one, since the choice of no stars is not offered. :-)

In the beginning of the book a general definition of a "Silent Son" is offered. Being a boy who has been abused in any way and keeps his feelings in. Keeping in these feelings causes the boys to have tough times dealing with real life relationships. Many characteristics are given to support this theory. The body goes into great depth of these relationships. However I found that this depth might have been the reason I often felt discouraged to finish the paragraph. At the end of this manual a life lesson is given, but how can a living soul offer something they have not encounter yet. Through out the book many lessons are offered, but only those of the male persuasion may gain what is offered. After all this is a book "...for and about men..."
If you love Psychology and want to learn more about the feelings of a child who has been abused, I would suggest purchasing this book. But if your looking for a leisure reading that you wont put down, this book is not for you. In fact there were times when I couldn't even open it because I dreaded the next line. I also found that Dr. Robert J. Ackerman would often contradict his thoughts, this would cause me to get frustrated and offered no reassurance to finish the sentence. I was not a fan of "Silent Sons," but that just my opinion.

This book is really bad. Dr. Ackerman presents a very biased account and fails to thourougly explain his reasoning.