Silent Sorority: A Barren Woman Gets Busy, Angry, Lost and Found (Paperback)

~ (Author)

Editorial Reviews

Product Description

From celebrity and news magazines to TV programs to Facebook pages and mommy blogs, family-building successes are routinely and glowingly shared and celebrated. But where are the voices of those who are unable to have children? In relating what happens when nature and science find their limits, Silent Sorority is snappy, funny, and irreverent as well as moving. Outside of the physical reckoning there lies the challenge of moving forward in a society that doesn't know how to handle the awkwardness of infertility. With no Emily Post-like guidelines for supporting couples who can't conceive, most well-intentioned "fertile" people miss the mark. Silent Sorority offers an unflinching look at what it's like to be barren in an era of designer babies and helicopter parents.

About the Author

Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos (Sig-din-us) is an author, blogger and infertility survivor. In her first book, Silent Sorority, Pamela shares with naked candor, humor and poignancy the intense and, at times, absurd experience of adjusting to a life as a "non-mom." Pamela and her blog were profiled in the New York Times. Her writing is featured in a variety of online outlets including Fertility Authority, Open Salon, MORE, and BlogHer, just to name a few.

Product Details

• Paperback: 216 pages
• Publisher: BookSurge Publishing (April 18, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1439231567
• ISBN-13: 978-1439231562
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (31 customer reviews)
• Amazon.com Sales Rank: #76,585 in Books (See Bestsellers in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for EVERY adult: infertility affects someone you know, whether you know it or not., April 25, 2009

By	Thursday Brown (Los Angeles, CA) - See all my reviews

Hiding out in public bathrooms? You're not alone.
Subjected to celebratory baby bump chatter around the water cooler? Not alone.
Feeling left out of experiencing one of life's biggest milestones? Not alone.
Struggling to make peace with never getting to be a bio parent? Not alone.
Grappling with the overall ignorance and indifference towards infertility? Not alone.
Learning to embrace the next stage without having to save up for a college fund? Not alone.

Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos represents a side of infertility that has been insultingly overlooked in the literary world: her story doesn't end with a bouncing baby, instead it's delves into the heart and mind of an involuntarily childless woman.

Those just starting down the fun infertility rabbit hole may find her outcome scary because she ended up on the other side of hope... until she found new dreams for which to hope. She shares a truth about advanced reproductive technologies (ART)--sometimes they just don't work. Actually, make that oftentimes they don't work. And adoption isn't just the simple panacea the general public seems to believe will soothe the Infertile's broken heart.

Those of us who have suffered silently through the trials of infertility due to its still-present public stigma, viscerally crave our plight to be understood. And it's no easy task to convey what it's like to struggle with infertility in a world where today's "news" involves glaring headlines about the latest celebutante who, oopsie, managed to get knocked up by her boyfriend of several months--yet convey she does.

Not only will "Infertiles" find comforting validation reading and relating to this author's (decade-long!) struggle with trying to conceive, but hopefully "Fertiles" will be enlightened about the pain their sisters in the IF (infertility) world must face. Mrs. Tsigdinos delivers her message with a resonant voice that clearly depicts for the public at large what it's like to ride the IF roller coaster while reassuring us "Infertiles" that we are not alone.

In truth, having recently joined her in the same "involuntarily childless" boat, it was a bittersweet experience to hunker down with her book. Let's face it; I'm a tad raw regarding this subject matter. However, I was so grateful to read a kindred-spirit's insights while I shed many cathartic tears. As she intimately and honestly chronicled her heart wrenching path going from failure to conceive, to hopeful for a different kind of future than she ever designed, she gave me a newfound hope as I struggle to cross the threshold into the next stage of our lives.

This book is an important read for every single person out there--in the infertile world or otherwise (despite the potential discomfort one may feel reading about the infertility travails she endured). Because guess what? You may not know it, but the likelihood is great that you DO know someone who is silently suffering through the pain of a childless empty nest. Just as we should be sensitive to apparent medical conditions, so should we too regarding infertility. Mrs. Tsigdinos does a stellar job leading the troops in raising infertility awareness and understanding with her forthright, brave, and humorous voice.

8 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Non-Mom's Survival Guide to Life, April 28, 2009

By	C. Gombar "christinagombar" (Saunderstown, RI) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

I'm so glad someone wrote this book! While the publishing industry spews out dozens, if not hundreds of titles a year that wind up with Baby and Happily Ever After, there's nothing for the large minority -- or maybe it's a majority? -- of people the fertility industry failed. This book tells the whole story, the peaks and valleys -- of that journey. Can a book that ends without a baby have a happy ending? A resounding yes.

Like the author, I also wound up without children, though due to different circumstances. Dealing with that private loss is one thing, dealing with the social stigma is ten times worse.

I hope that this book is the beginning of a sea change in a baby-frenzied culture. Octomom brought home to the wider world that being a Mom isn't necessarily a thing to be admired in itself.

This book does a great job addressing the invisibility of non-Moms -- the author identifies as Infertile -- but women who wound up without for other reasons will also relate. Why is 70% of all public conversation kid chatter? Where did manners go?

I hope this book brings some awareness to wider society that there's a pretty large group of people out there who aren't just being marginalized, but often maligned simply because they couldn't/didn't reproduce.

This book is incredibly well-written, snappy, funny irreverent as well as moving. The author takes us through the steps of shock, grief, hope, anger, denial and acceptance. The denial part really hit home with me -- you kind of have to park yourself there for a while, it takes some time to accept your fate.

What this book doesn't do is tell you "six easy steps" -- or how to "fix your attitude" to your childless state. Thank God! For me it was much better to hear the inside thoughts of someone who's gone through the same, or similar trials I have, and how she's found a way to be in the world. Bravo!

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Engaging and enlightening must read, June 2, 2009

By	Margaret Epperheimer - See all my reviews (REAL NAME)

This book represents guts, maturity and a lot of talent. It can't be easy to weave an engaging and enlightening book about a topic so personal and painful. But Pamela Mahoney Tsigdinos does a masterful job of using humor, insightful asides and a compelling writing style that leave the reader craving the next chapter. Even for those of us who dodged (just barely) the infertility bullet, she provides an important lens through which to look at our actions and our relationships. When did we get so self-absorbed and self-important? How can we replace our feigned empathy with true compassion and sensitivity? If we ignore or discount another's pain, does it make it better for them or for us? It took courage and a selfless generosity for the author to share her story so others (Infertiles as well as Fertiles) could benefit. I was touched. I learned a lot.