Customer Reviews

A Silent Sorrow: Pregnancy Loss - Guidance and Support for You and Your Family (Revised and Updated 2nd Edition)

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

This book was sent to me by a friend after the stillbirth of my first child. It had been recommended to her by someone who had suffered multiple pregnancy losses. I'm giving it a mixed review because although there was much that was helpful in the book, I also felt there were ways it could be improved. The best parts of the book were the chapters you could share with your spouse and parents, the chapter on dealing with family & friends (especially the practical suggestions of what to say when someone says something thoughtless to you), and the list of rituals which was an appendix in the back. One of the things I had a hard time with was that the authors try to cover so much information relating to miscarriage, stillbirth and infant death. At times I thought they focused too much on the differences between the grief process for each of these types of loss, rather than the common ground. Although there are quotes from bereaved parents throughout the book, I felt somehow that the book lacked a personal touch, it seemed very clinical, professional to me. If in your grief you want to read the first person accounts of others this isn't the book for you.

...and then you should keep it and read at the holidays, at the anniversary of your loss, at the anniversary of your baby's due date, and any other time you need to understand the experience of losing a baby. If you have a friend or relative who has experienced a pregnancy loss, send her (or him) a copy of her own. No other book covers such a wide range of medical, phyical and emotional experiences that surround pregancy loss. I should know -- after the stillbirth of my first daughter, I read everything in print about pregnancy loss. I just read the recently revised edition, and was happy to see that it increased information about the kinds of losses that so many women are experiencing in this age of high-tech infertility treatments, and that Kohn and Moffitt are dead-on about the complex range of emotions women and their partners undergo. Combining deep wisdom about ageless issues of parenthood and grieving with the often terrifying new territory of high tech childbearing, this is a book that will touch many lives.

For anyone who has had the sadness to suffer the loss of a child, A SILENT SORROW is THE definitive book to own. It is not only written for the Mother and Father, but grandparents, siblings, friends and health care professionals. It's section on dealing with your loss, understanding the devastation of the grief and coping with it were instrumental in helping me deal with the loss of my daughter, who was stillborn at nine months. I read it, and reread it - sometimes daily - because it provided the comfort and support I needed. It also provides practical advice on creating services, coping with others, thinking about second pregnancies and anniversary reactions. I cannot say enough good things about this book, and would recommend it to anyone looking for a sensitive and practical insight on the sad, and often little known subject of pregnancy loss.

I heard about this book by sheer coincidence shortly after my second consecutive miscarriage five months ago. It had taken my husband and me a year to conceive after the first miscarriage, and at age 41 my chances of having another baby didn't look good. We were devastated beyond belief; while my husband dealt with his grief by withdrawing, I turned to the Internet and the library for answers. A chance casual glance at an advice column referred me to this book, which I immediately ordered from Amazon. From the moment I started reading it, I could not put the book down. I found myself continuously nodding in agreement as I saw myself on page after page. It's all there: the sense of failure, the jealousy and avoidance of pregnant women and new mothers, the anger at friends and family who didn't acknowledge our loss because they either lacked understanding or couldn't find the right words -- or both.

This book was a huge source of comfort. It helped me over the hurdle of the initial grieving stage and eventually reach an understanding and acceptance of what happened to us. I recommend this book not only to those who have suffered a pregnancy loss, but to those close to the grieving parents who want to gain a better idea of what the parents are feeling, and find the right words and actions.

As a psychologist, I highly recommend this book to both mental health professionals and non-professionals. The authors address such relevant issues as grief, social isolation, ramifications on the primary relationship, and mourning in ways that inform my professional practice, while still being accessible to the general public. This book brings much needed attention to a topic, pregnancy loss, that has long been neglected. Indeed, it has proven to be a valuable resource by providing not only important information, but also cruical validation for experiences and feelings that have been minimized. A Silent Sorrow is necessary reading for care providers treating those who have experienced pregnancy loss, for friends and family of those who have had this experience, and for those who have had such an experience themselves.

This is the ultimate guidebook for those who have lost a preganacy or newborn. It offers many suggestions for rituals and support groups as well as pertinent medical information. I would suggest it to anyone in need.

"A Silent Sorrow" covers all types of pregnancy loss and still birth, as well as new born death. My husband and I experienced early loss at 7 weeks. I found everyone around me, including myself, minimizing the loss. Many comments like "at least you know you can get pregnant", "at least it was early", etc., were not helpful. The worst was the fact that no one thought I should be anything more than disappointed and we should just "try again". When we were unsuccessful at "trying again" I went further into depression. After 3 years of ineffective coping (not to mention my marriage was in terrible shape and we'd separated) I found a therapist who works with women with miscarriage, loss, and infertility grief. It was the best thing I ever did for myself. This therapist is the one who suggested this book. She said it is one of the best for early loss. I felt a huge release immediately after reading the part about early loss. The authors validated all the feelings I had shoved so far down and ran away from. I realized I had a right to grieve and moron the loss of my child. Yes, the baby was only with me a few weeks, but it was the a lifetime of hopes and dreams for the children of my future that instantly made that child so close to my heart. I am happy to say with the guidance of this book, the book Unsung Lullabies, After the Affair, Getting the Love You Want, my grief therapist, a great couples therapist, and an excellent RE...my husband and I are back together and expecting a child. Best of luck to those that in need of this book. My heart goes out to you!

Just don't know what to do?
Hate yourself, your partner, happy pregnant women, even God?
Then you should read this book.

This book have everything you need to know after Pregnancy loss
(including termination of impaired pregnancy), Still bitrh, Newborn death.
Medical information, of course, this book will tell you how to
deal with the response of your partner, family, friends, neighbors and colleagues.

A helpful chapter "Finding solace in your religion" covers
Jewish traditions, Islamic traditions, Catholic traditions,
Protestant traditions and Mixed religions.

This book was _very_ important to me after my miscarriage, because it was a kind book that provided comfort but also didn't dumb itself down in order to address the very real and complex stages of grief. Kohn and Moffitt also give an excellent portrait of what people on many sides of the loss experience--mothers, fathers, family members, friends--as they all respond differently to pregnancy loss. I particularly appreciated the chapter on Early Pregnancy Loss, given that the authors discuss how this can be an especially "silent sorrow" and one that has its own special challenges of bereavement. Highly recommended

This is an excellent book not only for grieving parents, but grandparents, friends, family. Well organized with key points listed at end of each chapter. I especially like the 2 lists "The 5 Worst Comments You Might Hear" and "The Five Best Comments You Might Hear". If you only read these 2 pages it is worth it to spare the grieving parents from well meaning but non-helpful comments and also give you something more comforting and validating to say.

A great complimentary book I recommend is "Empty Cradle, Broken Heart" by Davis. Contains more personal stories and strategies for parents to endure their grief.