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Thank You For Our Son
on July 31, 2008
This is Le Men's dad. (Le Men was a heart baby in the orphanage described in this book.)
I wanted to write to you and let you know what an astounding service you have done in the publishing of your book. You have provided a glimpse into a world that many, including myself, are unable to fathom and terrified of realizing really exists. As the father of eight, I love my children more desperately than most people can comprehend. And so, it is difficult for me to comprehend situations of abuse and neglect like you describe. I would not have had the strength and determination that you showed to continue returning. I have great confidence in my skills and ability to succeed in many areas in this world. In the battle you faced, I am ashamed to say I would have failed. My love for children would not have been sufficient to overcome my weaknesses.
You asked in your book how God could let these children suffer. I believe in a loving and compassionate God. But, I also believe that we have free will and that nature will play its role of random change within our lives. The whims of men and culture created the situations you describe, not God. God provides the canvas and the paint. We provide the hand. He gently guides the brush when we ask Him.
As I read your book I started out with anger as I read of the suffering of the children. As I read deeper into your story I began to understand, as you did, that the staff in the orphanage were buffering themselves emotionally in a situation that was largely a no win situation. It brought to mind stories from the Civil War and Vietnam where doctors quickly amputated limbs to save a life because there were not sufficient resources, personnel or supplies to save limbs or lives of all those injured. Better to save something than to lose it all. But, it takes an emotional buffering to operate in such situations as you describe. I do not think I could have faced it.
Until I read your book, I did not understand the linkage my wife and I truly played in adopting our four lovely children from China. People tell us 'what a wonderful thing you have done'. We reply 'we did it out of selfishness, an overwhelming desire to have more children in our lives and our family'. I am sure many think we are being modest, but this is very true for us. We never approached adoption as a means of rescuing a child. We were driven by an incredible need to love children. Frankly, it was a need that neither of us fully understood then or now. We did not know of the desperation of the children other than through fleeting comments or inferences or rumors.
Now, I understand that God was guiding my wife and me in ways we did not recognize. We were definitely responding to your prayers without knowing of you or the influence your prayers were having in our lives. I know in my heart that God spoke to us and guided us even as you spoke to Him. So, have faith that God does listen to prayers and does work in ways we can not fathom.
Thank you for all you did for our lovely Le Men. He is truly an astounding boy and will grow into an amazing man. He is loaded with love and compassion and he continues to teach us and expand us each day. These are things that you made possible through your determination to save a child. We have purchased an additional copy of your book to keep for him until he is old enough to read it and understand your blessings, sacrifices and determination that made his life possible.
Thank you for what you have done and the sacrifices you have made. Your incredible determination resulted in simple acts of love and kindness that can change a world. I am sure the Lord will bless and keep you and yours.