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Simon Says (2006)

Crispin Glover , Margo Harshman , William Dear  |  R |  DVD
3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)

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Product Details

  • Actors: Crispin Glover, Margo Harshman, Blake Lively, Lori Lively, Robyn Lively
  • Directors: William Dear
  • Format: Closed-captioned, Color, DVD, Subtitled, Widescreen, NTSC
  • Language: English
  • Subtitles: English, Spanish
  • Region: Region 1 (U.S. and Canada only. Read more about DVD formats.)
  • Aspect Ratio: 1.78:1
  • Number of discs: 1
  • Rated: R (Restricted)
  • Studio: Lions Gate
  • DVD Release Date: June 23, 2009
  • Run Time: 86 minutes
  • Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (17 customer reviews)
  • ASIN: B0024R1CGI
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #99,473 in Movies & TV (See Top 100 in Movies & TV)

Editorial Reviews

SIMON SAYS - DVD Movie

 

Customer Reviews

17 Reviews
5 star:
 (4)
4 star:
 (5)
3 star:
 (2)
2 star:
 (4)
1 star:
 (2)
 
 
 
 
 
Average Customer Review
3.3 out of 5 stars (17 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars Good for fans of slasher horror -and no one else, June 26, 2009
By 
This review is from: Simon Says (DVD)
I'll admit that I wasn't really sure what to expect from this movie. It sat on the shelf for three years before Lionsgate decided to finally release it -- straight to DVD. I'm somewhat of a fan of crappy slasher horror movies, mostly of the Evil Dead II variety, and I hoped that Simon Says might be able to give me something new to chew on between viewings of the Sam Raimi classic. It does -- sort of.

Simon Says contains virtually every cliche of '80s slasher horror movies. In fact, this film is something of a tribute to those over-to-the-top gore fests. This time, a group of five stereotypical college students (the slut, the straight-laced Asian, the jock, the stoner, and the girl the serial killer is obsessed with) go out into the secluded mountains for a summer camp adventure. Of course, we all know that this leads to drinking, drugs, and a ridiculous amount of sex.

Once the movie gets past 30 minutes of boring (and pretty much unneeded) exposition, the serial killer, Simon, makes his move. After attacking one of the college students, he takes out another group of nameless campers who have absolutely no connection to the plot. While this scene is utterly random, it is the best one in the film. Simon kills off a collection of people in highly creative, and highly gruesome, ways (pick-axe, anyone?) that'll make you cringe and laugh at the same time. The gore and the blood are done in such a ridiculous style that you have to laugh at the simple fact that it could never happen.

One by one Simon kills off the college students until he is left with his "dream girl." Once virtually all of the characters have been killed off, the movie gets a little flat. The writers attempt to throw in a twist at the end, build the intensity, and make the viewers actually care about the campers. Honestly, by this point I just wanted to see more crazy violence; instead it felt like the writers were trying too hard to make the movie into something that it isn't.

Crispin Glover, by far, steals the show as Simon. While his Southern accent is hardly believable, his performance is spot-on and laughably bone-chilling. This is honestly the best performance I have ever seen from him. He pulls off the creepy, disturbed serial killer well and makes viewers wish that there was more of him and his crazy killing antics than the attempt at a plot.

This movie has both things that have come to define the slasher horror genre: blood and gore... and boobs, but with a surprising lack of the latter. Yet it also has no intensity, no surprises, horribly corny dialogue, and barely a shred of originality (completely committed to the violence).

Simon Says is a polarizing movie. Fans of '80s slasher horror movies and of absurd gore-fest movies will think that it's perfect for taking up a Friday night when you have nothing else to do -- just grab some friends who like these kinds of movies, some alcohol, and a bag of popcorn and you're good to go. However, if you are not a fan of slasher movies or are expecting a horror movie that's actually scary, Simon Says will be an hour and a half of pure pain.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars Simon Says would you Like a Hand Sandwich, June 25, 2009
This review is from: Simon Says (DVD)
"Simon Says"Gives you a big dose of over the top acting by Crispin Glover .although effective for the role's he's playing,Psychotic twins that killed they're parents as children and now live in the woods where they have set booby trap after booby trap that effectively kill quite a few people who just want to camp and have a good time in grisly ways .
The cast is good and the acting is well done.Of course there is that element of dark humor that ensues with alot of the slashers today,That's one reason Glovers performance works,it's not to be taken too seriously but seriously enough to delight the slasher fan.,Blake Lively of gossip Girl is only in the film for about 3 minutes so I don't know why she was even used.
There is gore galore and that's always good because that's why we watch these movies , that combined with good characters and cool story..
There's a scene where a boy is burned alive that is particularly disturbing.The rest of the kills are pretty good as well but usual slasher fare.The weapon of choice a pick axe.
Bottom line is if you're a slasher fan and especially a slasher in the woods slasher fan or a Crispin Glover fan you won't be disappointed by this movie.
3 and 1/2 stars
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars Hey You! Get Your Damn Pickaxe Off Her!!, November 5, 2011
This review is from: Simon Says (DVD)
A group of kids in a van head out to the woods to pan for gold(and get laid of course) and run into a backwoods lunatic, and tra-la....tra-la.....tra-la. Zero, repeat, zero here will surprise the viewer. Everything is strictly by the numbers here. One minute after meeting our cast of victims you want them all to die horrible deaths, even the "nice" girl.
So why in God's name did I give this crud four stars??? The magic two words: Crispin Glover. The forever nutty Glover, who comes across as a headcase when he's playing it straight, really gets to let go here. Granted, his psycho isn't one of the more charismatic slasher psychos of all time and probably won't go down as such in horror film history, but it really is fun to watch him, especially when he does things like offer a woman a "hand sandwich" and brutally squashes a small dog with one mighty stomp right in front of it's owners. One of the very few bits of originality on display here is a mechanical catapult that launches pickaxes....like tons of pickaxes. There's also a homemade saw apparatus that, when triggered by a tripwire(Glover likes his boobytraps), flies out of the bushes and takes the legs off of an unlucky paintballer.
So, I can certainly see why folks may not like this film as it is derivative of just about every backwoods slasher flick out there. But Glover is one thing that makes it fun and keeps it from being a two star deal.
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