Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids [Paperback]

Kim John Payne (Author), Lisa M. Ross (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 31, 2010

Today’s busier, faster society is waging an undeclared war on childhood. With too much stuff, too many choices, and too little time, children can become anxious, have trouble with friends and school, or even be diagnosed with behavioral problems. Now internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne helps parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need for their attention to deepen and their individuality to flourish. Simplicity Parenting offers inspiration, ideas, and a blueprint for change:
 
• Streamline your home environment. Reduce the amount of toys, books, and clutter—as well as the lights, sounds, and general sensory overload.
• Establish rhythms and rituals. Discover ways to ease daily tensions, create battle-free mealtimes and bedtimes, and tell if your child is overwhelmed.
• Schedule a break in the schedule. Establish intervals of calm and connection in your child’s daily torrent of constant doing.
• Scale back on media and parental involvement. Manage your children’s “screen time” to limit the endless deluge of information and stimulation.

A manifesto for protecting the grace of childhood, Simplicity Parenting is an eloquent guide to bringing new rhythms to bear on the lifelong art of raising children.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Waldorf educator and consultant Payne teams up with writer Ross to present an antidote for children who are overscheduled and overwhelmed by too much information and a fast-paced consumer culture that threatens the pace and playful essence of childhood. Payne claims that a protective filter should surround childhood, rather than the competitive, stressful adult world that has encroached on childhood's boundaries, preventing kids from developing resiliency with a sense of ease and well-being. But Payne is not a doomsayer: he presents a wealth of practical ideas for reclaiming childhood and establishing family harmony. In chapters covering four levels of simplification—environment, rhythm, schedules and Filtering Out the Adult World—Payne explains how parents can tackle extraneous stuff and stimulation by reducing the mountain of toys, limiting scheduled activities, providing valuable downtime and employing such pressure valves as storytelling and periods of quiet. According to the authors, limiting choices and activities will lead to kids who are more secure and less stressed, and to parents whose days are calmer. With fewer choices, Payne explains, families have the freedom to appreciate things—and one another—more deeply. Though simplicity parenting may seem a stretch for some, others will find that Payne's program for restoring creative play, order and balance is long overdue. (Sept.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to the Hardcover edition.

Review

“This book is a wake-call for all of us who have misjudged what children need and can handle, and who have wandered so far from the best practices that we are raising neurologically damaged and emotionally stunted human beings as a result. Simplicity Parenting arises from dialogues with real people, from their questions and their needs. Kim John Payne is sharp, funny, and wise, and–best of all–he has something shattering but positive to say to an America that is struggling to know how to live.” —Steve Biddulph, author of The Secret of Happy Children

“If you are raising children in these anxious times, you need this book. It will inspire you, reassure you, and, most important of all, it will remind you that less is more, that simplicity trumps complication, that rhythm and routine bring peace to the soul. In this profound and practical guide, Kim John Payne offers parents a doable, step-by-step approach to simplifying everyday family life, from the toy box to the dinner table. In the process, he reveals to us the rewards to be found in slowing down, savoring our children’s childhoods, and more fully enjoying our own adult lives.”—Katrina Kenison, author of Mitten Strings for God

“Simplicity Parenting takes the unusual and unusually wise stance that sometimes less can be more. Less as in less frenetic activity, less racing around, less clutter. Payne provides practical strategies for turning down the volume and creating a pace that fosters calmness, mindfulness, reflection, and individuality in children. Simplicity Parenting should be on every parent’s (indeed, every person’s) reading list.”—Kathleen A. Brehony, Ph.D., author of Awakening at Midlife

“Brilliant, wise, informative, innovative, entertaining, and urgently needed, this timely book is a godsend for all who love children, and for children themselves. It provides a doable plan for providing the kind of childhood kids desperately need today!” —Edward Hallowell, M.D., author of The Childhood Roots of Adult Happiness

“Kim John Payne helps parents better understand one of the most challenging issues of our time–the hurried, materialistic, competitive, highly pressured nature of today’s childhood. After reading Simplicity Parenting, parents’ new mantra will be ‘less builds security, sanity, and connection.’ And they will have the tools they need for implementing this mantra in their families.”—Diane E. Levin, Ph.D., co-author of So Sexy So Soon


From the Hardcover edition.

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Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Ballantine Books (August 31, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0345507983
• ISBN-13: 978-0345507983
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.5 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,282 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #50 in Books > Parenting & Relationships > Parenting

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

17 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Has made me a calmer, happier, yet more effective and aware parent, February 22, 2011

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TC - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids (Paperback)

As a clinical psychologist, and mother to an 18-month old, I cannot say enough wonderful things about this book. Since becoming pregnant, I have felt this certain 'pressure' to do do do for my child. Intuitively, I felt that it was too much, both for me and my child.This book helped me see how it was too much. My favorite part of course, as with everyone else, is the chapter on toys. I got rid of (put away) all toys that did not sustain my daughter's attention or were just plain annoying! I am trying to minimize the amount of toys, keep an open space, and buy only toys that stimulate her imagination. What I am finding is that I am a lot more interested in her world because of this (what adult can really stand Elmo for too long). I have backed off from feeling that I need to play with her, and as a result, am more calm and aware of her. We also started integrating a day of the week (sundays) where my husband and I do not use the internet or tv. We found ourselves feeling calmer and feeling more bonded as a family. There are probably a million more things that I could say about this book, but the bottom line: do not hyperparent (or your child will end up in my office with anxiety or related concern), keep things calm, get rid of ugly or loud plastic toys, and get out into nature! Read this book:-)

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Right Stuff, September 21, 2009

By 

Kelly Salasin "Lifelong Educator" (Southern Vermont) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids (Kindle Edition)

Having just finished posting a parenting article on STUFF <http://kellysalasin.wordpress.com/2009/08/28/stuff/>, I was heartened to read Kim John Payne's approach in this, his latest book: Simplicity Parenting. See Chapter 3 for a "10-Point Checklist" of types of toys to discard. Payne suggests getting rid of half of them--and then another half-- and maybe even another half! Payne's experience--as an educator, counselor and leading edge thinker--shows up on every page, as does his trademark humor and genuine compassion--not only for children, but for us parents too! It helps the medicine go down.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars practical and intelligent, October 5, 2011

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NW Academic "NW Academic" (Boise, ID) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Simplicity Parenting: Using the Extraordinary Power of Less to Raise Calmer, Happier, and More Secure Kids (Paperback)

Some of the "simplicity" literature, including some of the parenting lit on "creative" parenting is over the top for me. I am never going to knit or can my own vegetables. This book is different. It gives justification based on psychological theory and research. And its recommendations are practical and concrete, but not overwhelming. It's more about doing *less* (fewer toys, fewer activities) and paying more attention to our children. It is NOT about growing vegetables, cooking your own baby food, or making wooden toys. Nor is it about consequences or how to talk to your children. It is about giving one's children time, space and support to live and grow. Love it!