Customer Reviews

Simplify Your Life with Kids: 100 Ways to Make Family Life Easier and More Fun

5 star:		(9)
4 star:		(2)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(4)

 

 

I guess this book falls into the category of "never take parenting advice from someone who never had children". I bought this book because I LOVED "Simplify your life" by this author. I found it very helpful. This book, however, was mostly confounding and fairly depressing. While St. James *did* seek out advice from her friends who had children, these friends apparently take a very 'hands off' approach to their kids.

The book opens with a scenario in which a mother has forgotten to pick up her child and the child is stranded somewhere late in the evening while she tries to figure out a way to get someone else to go pick him up now that she's home and needs to make dinner. This did not bode well for the rest of the book [for those of us who don't routinely completely forget about our children and leave them alone in public places late at night....]

Much of the advice in this book falls into the category of "simplify your life with children by paying someone else to deal with the little brats". There is much about how parents should put their children in day care all day [and don't EVER let your child think they have the ability to cause you to delay your departure because of their pathetic tears, etc, etc, etc] and then get a sitter to care for the children in the evenings so mom can have "Me" time and parents can have "Us" time. Apparently, if you schedule 2 hours of "quality time" on Sunday afternoon with your kids, that's really all they need.

There was also a big push to teach the kids "self sufficiency" - as in, your 5 year old really can get his own breakfast so he doesn't "bother" you. I'm all for self sufficient kids and encouraging my children to be strong and independant, but too much of this book was geared towards forcing your kids to basically survive without any parental assistance or interaction - yeah... I guess that would be simplier than actually caring for your kids yourself. At least until they turn 13 and get put in jail for shooting up the school or something.

There were a few good ideas in this book, but not nearly enough to warrant wading through all the bad parenting advice and depressing disregard for children's well being. "Shelter for the Spirit" by Victoria Moran includes some great chapters on re-prioritizing and simplifying that are very child-friendly and would lead to strong parent-child relationships. In my opinion, parents would do better to read what Moran has to say and skip this particular book by St. James.

Elaine St James does not have children of her own, but she has co-written this book with Vera Coles-mother of three. Despite Coles' parent perspective, much of the writing seems out-of-touch with the daily lives of most parents. But much more frightening, the authors have not done their child development homework, and many of their suggestions could be harmful to children.

St James begins with a description of your typical harried day, which includes having to "rescue your two-year-old from the baby-sitter." Any mother whose typical day includes "rescuing" her two-year-old from child care needs more than to simplify her life. She needs to drop everything and find some better child care! But St James, with no experience in trying to find adequate and affordable child care, doesn't appreciate the magnitude of this problem, and is simply trying to be funny. (Also, most child-care professionals resent being called "babysitters," a term she uses throughout the book, because it does not reflect the care and education caregivers work hard to provide.)

On page 7, St. James attempts to deal with the universal problem of separating from your child. As she does repeatedly, St. James approaches this problem with only the parents' needs in mind. Her focus is on streamlining the adult's morning routine, without any mention of the child's needs. She suggests that you (mommy) let daddy take the child during the first few weeks because the child is probably more used to saying good-bye to daddy. The stereotypes in this statement annoyed me, but worse than annoying was her suggestion that you enlist "another adult" to take the child. Separation from parents is one of the most difficult problems children face in child care. It is a process that takes time, and one in which children need support from their most trusted adults. Making your child start a new care situation without you present is cruel.

St. James neglects to consider the child's point of view again a few pages later. At the end of a section discussing chores and having children help, she says, "As they get older and become more competent in the kitchen, you can leave the cleanup entirely to the kids and begin your own evening activities." I prefer a family in which everyone helps out, so that everyone can then enjoy activities together.

Later, St. James talks about using logical consequences to persuade children to do things like brush teeth. Logical consequences are an excellent way to guide children's behavior, when they are used appropriately and in the right circumstances. However, St. James suggests telling a child he won't get a bedtime story if he doesn't brush his teeth. Bedtime stories are extremely beneficial to young children. Taking them away is not a logical consequence of failing to brush teeth; it is simply piling one injury on top of another.

Most of St. James' suggestions worried me, so I welcomed the one that made me laugh. She suggests that you keep your pantry stocked with staples so that you can put meals together quickly without having to run to the store. But some of the staples she suggests-canned tomatoes, olives, olive oil, and spices-wouldn't go over well with my children! Again, she seems to be catering to adult tastes while ignoring those of the children.

Simplifying and striving for a less harried life are good goals that are likely to benefit both parents and children. If you are searching for advice on how to accomplish these goals, avoid Simplify Your Life with Kids, or you may end up doing more harm than good.

What a disappointment this book was. The contents has nothing to do with the title. There aren't more three or four practical tips on simplifying life with children. (Warning: the author has NO children!! When she admitted that, I should have stopped right there.) Instead of offering the advice promised, this book is one long lecture on the attitude you should take as a parent, how to react in certain situations (complete with suggested things to say (let's hope your kids have read and memorized THEIR parts in the sample dialogues, otherwise, you'll be in trouble) etc. Worse, this parental advice is so simplistic as to be totally useless and patronizing. For example, she suggests you teach your children to pick up after themselves, to learn to answer the phone with a "Hello", to clean their own rooms. I mean, who did she think her audience was? St. Bernards? Anyone with half an ounce of common sense would be doing these things already. Furthermore, if I were looking for a guide to parenting, I would certainly rather rely on someone who had qualifications in the field: a psychologist, a family therapist or something. I kept waiting for the unsultingly obvious lecturing to stop and the real hints and practical tips to start. Instead, I got more insipid advice. For example, after suggesting you give children "a choice", she provides about ten examples: "Would you like a sandwich or soup? Would you like to wear your pants or a skirt?" and on and on. Thanks lady, we're so dumb, we can't figure out what a choice is without ten examples... Save your money and spend it on a book with substance. This one is a joke. It will only annoy and make you even more frazzled and ill-tempered with your children!

I won't restate what has been said by other amazon reviewers of this book - this book was a waste of my time and money. I had so enjoyed St. James' original Simplify Your Life book and was looking forward to reading this book. However, page after page proved to be annoying and genearlly useless. This book IS NOT about simplifying your life. If I had know I was going to be reading a How To Raise Your Kids book, I would have picked one by someone who knew something about it.

On top of the other reviewers' comments that St. James' suggestions are too simplistic and sometimes even harmful, I would add that if I had the money to implement all of her "simple" suggestions, I would move out of the country and greatly simplify my life. Her suggestions to single parents to "buy used" and steer cleer of impulse purchases are patronizing and sorely out of touch. Further, her assumptions about "male" and "female" traits and roles are not relevant to the lives of anyone I know.

St. James should stick with material she knows.

How did Elaine St. James get so smart? Mothers can't do it all and we shouldn't try. Some of her wisdom I had discovered for myself, but there are half a dozen suggestions which I hope I never forget!

This is the second book I have read by Elaine St. James and once again came away feeling that I could really make a difference in my family life by implementing some, if not all of the suggestions in this book. I have a one and two year old and after reading her suggestions, I now feel I can get some control over the family. This book is packed with very user friendly advice that anyone can implement in their own home. I highly recommend this book to anyone looking to make their family life more of an enjoyable experience.

I am a facilitator of a Single Parenting class and am always reading books about parenting. I just finished re-reading this book and I couldn't agree more with what it contains. I purchased it for myself when my children were preschoolers and have implimented many of the ideas written within in raising my children.

I am now a widow and so am "going it alone" in the raising of my two children. We have been through a lot in the last 3 years, but the general principles described in this book are what have allowed us to get through and come out the other side a whole, well adjusted family. This book gives excellent, practical suggests on how to achieve a home and family life that reflects the core values of a loving and respectful family. That is exactly what I want for my home.

I am very surprised at the 1 star reviews as many of the comments that they make seem to indicate that they only read the first little bit of the book. If you read through the book in it's entirety it's main focus is on increasing the quality and quantity of your time with your children, which is the opposite of what the 1 star reviews seem to have gotten from the book.

I like it so well, the reason I am on this site is because I am going to purchase several more copies for the parents of my single parenting group!

I like the ideas in this book. Everything seems pretty easy to implement. It is a little dated as it talks about walkmans etc. but it is all relative. If you want a book that attempts to simplify your life from cell phones, text or e-mail, this topic is not specifically addressed.

This is a wonderful book. It has very short, 3-4 page "chapters" on differt topics. The book is broken into sensible sections on topics that anyone with kids struggles with (the workload, discipline strategies, etc.). It is very simple to read and you can skip to the section that applies or appeals to you that day. Plus, it's a really cute little book.

Children grow up so fast. The book gave me a perspective on what is more important in life. What I liked about the book is that she talked about how to make daily routines less stressful and gave suggestions on simple parenting strategies and discipline strategies.