Cynthia Orange brings equal parts information and inspiration to this pragmatic yet soulful guide for single moms. Managing time and money, juggling the demands of work and child care, balancing personal needs with parenting responsibilities-these are the everyday concerns Orange addresses with preach-free common sense and welcome candor. Interwoven with firsthand stories and experiences, Sing Your Own Song resonates with affirmation and support for single moms everywhere.
"The advice offered in this guide is empathetic, practical, and mercifully realistic. It's like having a kind companion at your side whispering encouragement in your ear." Cheri Register, sole custody mother and author of The Chronic Illness Experience, Are Those Kids Yours?, and Packinghouse Daughter
"Cynthia Orange speaks from the heart and from a wellspring of experience, her own and that of many whom she interviewed. An excellent resource for any mother who is struggling alone to be all that she is called on to be." Karen Casey, author of Each Day a New Beginning
A creative writing instructor at the University of Minnesota, Orange was a single mother two decades ago for a couple of years before remarrying. For this book, she has put that experience into perspective without bitterness, hate, or sappy optimism. She opens with a thoughtful look at "family" that emphasizes unconditional love, open communication, and a "bond that transcends biology or marriage." This is followed by straightforward advice that helps single moms evaluate what they can do to take care of their needs and ask for help. Chapters deal with several issues: helping children be resilient, managing a home/job/ school, juggling romantic relationships and sex, and dealing with neighbors and grandparents all in a tone that's realistic and helpful. After all, as she quotes Andrea Engber in The Complete Single Mother, "You are single, not dead." Take a minute, Orange advises again and again. "Life, love, and happiness are fluid. They require movement and risk." Resources galore throughout; recommended for public libraries. Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.
About the Author
Cynthia Orange is a writer, editor, creative writing instructor, and writing consultant who has authored five booklets for Hazelden and co-authored the best-selling meditation book Today's Gift. She has published over 450 articles, columns, and guest editorials, including several award winners. She lives in West Saint Paul, Minnesota.Cynthia brings equal parts information and inspiration to this pragmatic yet soulful guide for single moms. Managing time and money, juggling the demands of work and child care, balancing personal needs with parenting responsibilities-these are the everyday concerns Orange addresses with preach-free common sense and welcome candor. Interwoven with firsthand stories and experiences, Sing Your Own Song resonates with affirmation and support for single moms everywhere.
I am Cynthia, daughter of Florence who was a maker of quilts, 80-year-old Internet explorer, and infinitely patient mentor of children. I am granddaughter of Vernie, who taught me how to embroider; great-grand daughter of Nettie Whipple, who dressed up each afternoon to sit at the kitchen window and wait for her secret love from her girlhood days to come and call; great-great-grand daughter of Lucy, about whom I know nothing.
This matrilineal and tribal response is what immediately came to mind when I answered the question "Who are you?" a while back. I look at my hands these days and see the same wrinkled roses in my knuckles that I saw in my grandmother's hands as I held them in mine when she lay dying. I hug the afghan my mother made me tight to my body as if by doing so I can somehow keep her here, alive and warm. These strong women are gone now, but I see them still in my equally strong--yet gentle--daughter and in her sweet twin boys--the grandsons I adore.
I am also a writer, editor, and writing consultant. I've written several books; published over 500 articles, columns and guest editorials in a number of magazines and newspapers throughout the country, and my essays and poetry have appeared in various literary journals. I have been fortunate enough to receive awards for poetry, creative nonfiction, essays, and newspaper articles. When time permits, I teach creative writing at the Loft Literary Center and University of Minnesota. I encourage students to look for metaphor, nuance, and story in the mundane as well as in the magnificent. I believe that writing helps us become more discriminating readers, more astute and artful observers, and more engaged citizens. I know I'm doing my job when students tell me writing is changing the way they view the world.
Since my first girlhood diary, I've used writing as a way to figure things out and connect my internal and external realities. I became a single mother after a divorce in the early 1970s, when my daughter was just three months old, a profound experience that actually launched my writing career. During that time, I wrote the first poem I ever sold, and years later, a line from that early poem--Sing Your Own Song--became the title of book published in 2001. I also began an educational quest when I was a single mom and, although it took me a total of twenty-five years, I now hold Bachelor and Master degrees. Among other writing endeavors, I've been privileged to write for the esteemed Hazelden Foundation for the past 25 years. I also co-authored a book in 1993 called New Life, New Friends with my good friend and mentor Christina Baldwin, and I was one of the authors of a still-popular meditation book for families entitled Today's Gift that was published by Hazelden in 1985.
Although it sounds like a B movie, I met my soul mate, Michael, in 1968 at the top of the Empire State Building when I was visiting New York with two girlfriends from Minnesota, and Michael was there with several of his seminary high-school friends from Ohio. We felt an instant connection, and I came home and announced to my best friend, "I met the man I know I could happily marry." Then he went off to march in the Vietnam War and I marched against it, but our friendship remained unshakable; our correspondence honest and constant. Meanwhile, I married someone else, gave birth to my beautiful daughter, and later divorced. When Michael moved to Minnesota in 1973, we got married. He adopted Jessica, and we became an "official" family. I soon discovered, however, that when I married Michael, I also married Vietnam and the trauma he carried from his combat experience.
My most recent book--Shock Waves--is about our journey and the journeys of others who, like us, have learned to live with the challenges and scars of trauma and the "shock wave" effects of PTSD.
Michael and I feel we have achieved a good balance of living fully in the intimate world of family and friends as well as in the world at large. Our personal experience with war and trauma has strengthened our commitment to working with others who struggle with these issues. I co-facilitate a caregivers' support group, and Michael and I often speak to audiences about the effects of trauma and war in our continuing involvement with veterans and veterans' issues.
I began writing Shock Waves on the eve of our 36th anniversary, and I'm happy to report that our marriage and life together continue to grow richer and stronger, even though the journey has not always been smooth or easy. We are deliriously happy being "Meema and Papa" to our young grandsons, and we cherish the close relationship we have with our daughter and son-in-law. Who could ask for more?
5.0 out of 5 starsExceptional work, April 25, 2001
By A Customer
This review is from: Sing Your Own Song: A Guide for Single Moms (Paperback)
I'm usually not a big fan of self-help. In fact, I usually consider self-help to be an instrument of the Devil or, worse, the Republicans. Yet I was pleasantly surprised by this book. Cynthia Orange's prose is without the preachiness and dogma usually associated with self-help. This is a smooth, colorful read, well-written with lots of stories about the experiences of individual women. What I like is that the writer isn't portraying herself as some pseudo-expert, but merely conveying the tales of others in a non-judgmental, peaceful and uplifting manner. It helped me get a profoundly better understanding of what my wife has experienced in her life, and at this price, it's a helluva lot cheaper than therapy.
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5.0 out of 5 starsWhat Every Mother Needs to Know, April 30, 2001
By A Customer
This review is from: Sing Your Own Song: A Guide for Single Moms (Paperback)
I wish someone had given me this book when I was raising my children. Although I was not a single mother, the wise advice to be gentle with yourself and take care of yourself are issues for every mother trying to balance many demands in her life. The practical pointers on parenting, rethinking family and creating community are useful for all parents. This wisdom is delivered with warm support, compassion and gentleness. It feels like a hug from the mother/grandmother we all wish we had.
I have also worked with single mothers who struggled under a great deal of stress. They would have found this book a welcome resource for making decisions, solving problems, finding support, developing confidence and building relationships.
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This review is from: Sing Your Own Song: A Guide for Single Moms (Paperback)
Every single mother struggling to affirm the validity of a single parent family should make this a "must read". The author includes personal and humorous anecdotes as well as suggestions and illustrations from professionals who deal with children and mothers in one parent families. I particularly found the sections dealing with children in schools helpful and practical. Extending the book to today's realities of caring for aging parents adds an interesting dimension. The myth of the "Beaver Cleaver" family is dissolved, and in it's place, author Cynthia Orange creatively paints a picture of a positive and healthy family made up of a mother and her children.
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