Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice: How Women are Choosing Parenthood without Marriage and Creating the New American Family [Hardcover]

Rosanna Hertz (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 2006

A remarkable number of women today are taking the daunting step of having children outside of marriage. In Single By Chance, Mothers By Choice, Rosanna Hertz offers the first full-scale account of this fast-growing phenomenon, revealing why these middle class women took this unorthodox path and how they have managed to make single parenthood work for them.
Hertz interviewed 65 women--ranging from physicians and financial analysts to social workers, teachers, and secretaries--women who speak candidly about how they manage their lives and families as single mothers. What Hertz discovers are not ideologues but reluctant revolutionaries, women who--whether straight or gay--struggle to conform to the conventional definitions of mother, child, and family. Having tossed out the rulebook in order to become mothers, they nonetheless adhere to time-honored rules about child-rearing. As they tell their stories, they shed light on their paths to motherhood, describing how they summoned up the courage to pursue their dream, how they broke the news to parents, siblings, friends, and co-workers, how they went about buying sperm from fertility banks or adopting children of different races. They recount how their personal and social histories intersected to enable them to pursue their dream of motherhood, and how they navigate daily life. What does it mean to be 'single' in terms of romance and parenting? How do women juggle earning a paycheck with parenting? What creative ways have women devised to shore up these families? How do they incorporate men into their child-centered families? This book provides concrete, informative answers to all these questions.
A unique window on the future of the family, this book offers a gold mine of insight and reassurance for any woman contemplating this rewarding if unconventional step.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"It's impossible to do justice here to the complexity of the portraits Hertz paints in this well-crafted book, including the different ways that women handle the often unexpected results of their decisions."--Washington Post Book World

"Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice takes us on a thought-provoking journey with several single women facing the challenge of how to become a mother without a spouse. This is required reading for any single woman in her thirties who is concerned about the ticking of her biological clock."--Jane Mattes, L.C.S.W., Founder and Director, Single Mothers by Choice

"Sensitively explores how traditional bonds of kinship and family forms are challenged and then renegotiated among middle-class women who have elected to become single mothers The first high-quality and comprehensive chronicle of middle-class women who decide to become mothers without partners."--Contexts

"In this important book, Rosanna Hertz examines the lives of adult women who have chosen to become single mothers. Too often studies of this kind offer a snapshot of a moment in time, but here Dr. Hertz gives us a movie--a sifting, changing and evolving portrait that takes us from the difficult moment of decision to the present, from anxious new mothers wondering whether they could do it, to women and their children who have written a different kind of family narrative."--Lillian B. Rubin, Ph.D, author of The Man With the Beautiful Voice and Worlds of Pain

"In this grounded, accessible study, Hertz also poses some challenging questions about the future role of fathers." --Publishers Weekly

"Are unmarried women with careers and babies conventional or do they challenge society to seek to dispense with men? My own answer is better informed after reading Single by Chance, a useful text for upper division classes and graduate seminars on family, the law, women's studies, nursing and other fields such as medical anthropology. It will likely be useful to give to friends contemplating parenthood as well as to place in family courts and clinician offices."--Journal of Family and Economic Issues

"In this page-turner of a book Rosanna Hertz follows the lives of middle-class single women who choose to become mothers without husbands or partners. Through vivid portraits and interviews, the romantic ideals and day-to-day complexities of single parenting come alive--all carefully portrayed within an historical and sociological context. This is a notable contribution to our understanding of how changing norms, changing technology, and changing laws are creating new family dynamics in modern America."--Cynthia Fuchs Epstein, President, American Sociological Association

"There is a lot to admire about this book. In her well-written and interesting account, Hertz offers a vivid illustration of a new form of family taking its place in the United States. In taking the journey with her, we get a close-up view of the struggles and joys these women face when choosing to be single mothers. Anyone interested in studying the dynamics of families should read this valuable book and consider Hertz's assertion: 'The bottom line of this book is clear: we can no longer deny that the core of family life is the mother and her children.'"--Journal of Marriage and Family

"Read this book for nuanced insight into how the concept of family is changing across our country. Read it if you are a single mom or considering single motherhood. Read it for the stories of the courageous women who took their desire for children into their own hands. They are creating new forms of kinship and support networks that will have echoes beyond the realm of single-mom families. Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice is well researched and well written, and surely to be much discussed."--Mombian.com

"Single mothers have been in the cross-hairs ever since Dan Quayle attacked TV's 'Murphy Brown' for 'mocking fatherhood' by having a child without being married. But Rosanna Hertz's fascinating in-depth study shows that the former Vice President was wrong. Today's Murphy Browns--middle-class, self-supporting single mothers by choice--are not trying to score ideological points. Rather, their commitment to motherhood survives the fading of their hopes for marriage. This is an important book that debunks the myths and stereotypes of a family type that is here to stay."--Arlene Skolnick, Ph.D., co-author of Family in Transition

From the Back Cover

Advance Praise for Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice

"Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice takes us on a thought-provoking journey with several single women facing the challenge of how to become a mother without a spouse. This is required reading for any single woman in her thirties who is concerned about the ticking of her biological clock." -- Jane Mattes, L.C.S.W., Founder and Director, Single Mothers by Choice

"In this important book, Rosanna Hertz examines the lives of adult women who have chosen to become single mothers. Too often studies of this kind offer a snapshot of a moment in time, but here Dr. Hertz gives us a movie--a sifting, changing and evolving portrait that takes us from the difficult moment of decision to the present, from anxious new mothers wondering whether they could do it, to women and their children who have written a different kind of family narrative." -- Lillian B. Rubin, Ph.D, author of The Man With the Beautiful Voice and Worlds of Pain

"In this page-turner of a book Rosanna Hertz follows the lives of middle-class single women who choose to become mothers without husbands or partners. Through vivid portraits and interviews, the romantic ideals and day-to-day complexities of single parenting come alive--all carefully portrayed within an historical and sociological context. This is a notable contribution to our understanding of how changing norms, changing technology, and changing laws are creating new family dynamics in modern America." -- Cynthia Fuchs Epstein, President, American Sociological Association

"Single mothers have been in the cross-hairs ever since Dan Quayle attacked TV's 'Murphy Brown' for 'mocking fatherhood' by having a child without being married. But Rosanna Hertz's fascinating in-depth study shows that the former Vice President was wrong. Today's Murphy Browns--middle-class, self-supporting single mothers by choice--are not trying to score ideological points. Rather, their commitment to motherhood survives the fading of their hopes for marriage. This is an important book that debunks the myths and stereotypes of a family type that is here to stay." -- Arlene Skolnick, Ph.D., co-author of Family in Transition

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 304 pages
• Publisher: Oxford University Press, USA; 1 edition (October 1, 2006)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0195179900
• ISBN-13: 978-0195179903
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.4 x 1.1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 3.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #776,644 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Remarkable stories and compelling analysis, August 29, 2006

By 

Cannon "Corporate Dad" (Chicago, IL) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice: How Women are Choosing Parenthood without Marriage and Creating the New American Family (Hardcover)

Once in a while you read a book that opens your eyes. This is one of those books: a compelling account of how women from virtually every class and race surmount convention to have children, provide them with richly supportive -- if often improvised -- home and family, and fill in the gaps they feel separate them from the "normal" family. Hertz has a gift for selecting the right stories to tell. She also produces a clear sociological analysis of those stories without being overbearing or jargonistic. This is a must for policymakers anxious to "save the American family."

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Dan Quayle got it wrong!, December 23, 2006

By 

J. Houbolt (Baltimore, Maryland United States) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice: How Women are Choosing Parenthood without Marriage and Creating the New American Family (Hardcover)

...and so much for "Leave it to Beaver". The traditional family structure of the days of Eisenhower are officially over. Hertz makes it very clear that Mothers by choice who are single can do a fine job of child rearing. That furthermore, not only are these Mothers not anti male, they often go to extraordinary lengths to make sure that there are male figures in the lives of their children.

For anyone who wants to understand this phenomenon in further detail, this is a fascinating book. I would recommend it to James Dobson, but I don't think he would be open to its thesis.

It is not a "How to Do it Book," it is a quality sociological analysis using extended interviews to tease out many stories that outline the diverse patterns of single Motherhood that can produce a happy family and well adjusted child.

One caveat that Hertz makes clear from the beginning. This is an analysis of women who fall in the broadly defined middle class. The story of young urban teenagers, often minorities who become single Mothers by some mixture of choice and neglect would almost surely produce a very different set of stories. It would be interesting if Hertz might do a study in the future that compares social class as it intersects with "Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice."

7 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A Must-Read on the Transformation of Family Today, September 7, 2006

By 

Dana Rudolph (New York, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice: How Women are Choosing Parenthood without Marriage and Creating the New American Family (Hardcover)

This book focuses on the lives of women who chose to have children while single, but should be read by anyone interested in today's debates on marriage, motherhood, or family. Without intending a revolution, Hertz says, the women in her study are transforming what it means to be a family. At the same time, Hertz places these transformations in context as part of a long line of changes affecting the traditional definition of family, including greater access to birth control, no-fault divorce, and civil-rights movements.

Hertz looks at the women's personal paths as well as the broader social implications of their choices. She uses long vignettes as well as shorter quotes to let the women speak for themselves, while supporting her judicious interpretations. When race or sexual orientation make a difference, she notes this, but does not deny the commonalities that connect all these women as single mothers. She also looks to the future and discusses what further changes are likely in reproductive technologies, in men's and women's family roles, and in the support available for working parents.

Read this book for nuanced insight into how the concept of family is changing across our country. Read it if you are a single mom or considering single motherhood. Read it for the stories of the courageous women who took their desire for children into their own hands. They are creating new forms of kinship and support networks that will have echoes beyond the realm of single-mom families. Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice is well researched and well written, and surely to be much discussed.