Customer Reviews

Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice: How Women are Choosing Parenthood without Marriage and Creating the New American Family

5 star:		(5)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

Once in a while you read a book that opens your eyes. This is one of those books: a compelling account of how women from virtually every class and race surmount convention to have children, provide them with richly supportive -- if often improvised -- home and family, and fill in the gaps they feel separate them from the "normal" family. Hertz has a gift for selecting the right stories to tell. She also produces a clear sociological analysis of those stories without being overbearing or jargonistic. This is a must for policymakers anxious to "save the American family."

...and so much for "Leave it to Beaver". The traditional family structure of the days of Eisenhower are officially over. Hertz makes it very clear that Mothers by choice who are single can do a fine job of child rearing. That furthermore, not only are these Mothers not anti male, they often go to extraordinary lengths to make sure that there are male figures in the lives of their children.

For anyone who wants to understand this phenomenon in further detail, this is a fascinating book. I would recommend it to James Dobson, but I don't think he would be open to its thesis.

It is not a "How to Do it Book," it is a quality sociological analysis using extended interviews to tease out many stories that outline the diverse patterns of single Motherhood that can produce a happy family and well adjusted child.

One caveat that Hertz makes clear from the beginning. This is an analysis of women who fall in the broadly defined middle class. The story of young urban teenagers, often minorities who become single Mothers by some mixture of choice and neglect would almost surely produce a very different set of stories. It would be interesting if Hertz might do a study in the future that compares social class as it intersects with "Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice."

This book focuses on the lives of women who chose to have children while single, but should be read by anyone interested in today's debates on marriage, motherhood, or family. Without intending a revolution, Hertz says, the women in her study are transforming what it means to be a family. At the same time, Hertz places these transformations in context as part of a long line of changes affecting the traditional definition of family, including greater access to birth control, no-fault divorce, and civil-rights movements.

Hertz looks at the women's personal paths as well as the broader social implications of their choices. She uses long vignettes as well as shorter quotes to let the women speak for themselves, while supporting her judicious interpretations. When race or sexual orientation make a difference, she notes this, but does not deny the commonalities that connect all these women as single mothers. She also looks to the future and discusses what further changes are likely in reproductive technologies, in men's and women's family roles, and in the support available for working parents.

Read this book for nuanced insight into how the concept of family is changing across our country. Read it if you are a single mom or considering single motherhood. Read it for the stories of the courageous women who took their desire for children into their own hands. They are creating new forms of kinship and support networks that will have echoes beyond the realm of single-mom families. Single by Chance, Mothers by Choice is well researched and well written, and surely to be much discussed.

There are many books on this subject I wanted to read, and I chose this one first because it seemed to be an objective, analytical sketch of a relatively new sociological phenomenon. But it turns out not to be the academic examination it purports to be. Hertz's "discoveries" are broad and simplistic; moreover, most of the dilemmas she reveals are the struggles not merely of single mothers by choice, but of all women who have to work to support their families, even 2-parent families. She does make a few insightful claims about these women and their choices, but then she repeats those claims over and over. The book should be half as long as it is.

But perhaps the most unsettling thing about this read is that I was not expecting such subjectivity. Hertz makes assertions about the motives and ultimate effects of the choices these single women make, and her assertions clearly mark her moral and ethical stance, however much she tries to hide it. If you are expecting detached, academic insight, look elsewhere.

The one very good thing the book does offer, though, is the vignettes themselves. The individual profiles from this diverse group of women are interesting.

As someone who is currently single and trying to become a mother, this is not a book I would recommend. I was looking for something a bit more practical and this read more like someone's thesis. Also, I didn't identify with many of the women profiled. Their reasons or the reasons given for choosing this path just didn't ring true for me.

The one part of the book I enjoyed was hearing the different stories about how the women explained the "fathers" to the children. That was very helpful since I've been struggling with the story that I will tell.

Hertz has been observing the Choice Mom phenomenon for more than a decade. As I noted in my "Choosing Single Motherhood" book, she has seen the rise in numbers of single women making this choice over the years, and this is a thorough attempt to find out the Whys. Her in-depth profiles of women who have made this choice lends itself to a great sociological look at the trend.

Add another one to Hertz's Fan club! Her writing style and explanations of real life America have assisted us in understanding the thinking of today's women ...Her research shows that the family unit and the tradition of motherhood may be changing with the times but will continue to be maintained.
These women contribute greatly to American society today and so does Rosanna Hertz. A book that must be read!

This book is written in two seperate parts. I did not read the part for "single by chance" as I am going the choice route. This book was lame. REALLY lame! Not up to date on the subject. Also clearly written for a certain group (caucasian) of women. Does not speak to everyone--didn't speak to me at all. Would not recommend this book. There are SEVERAL better options out there!!