Customer Reviews

Single State of the Union: Single Women Speak Out on Life, Love, and the Pursuit of Happiness

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The anthology Single State of the Union is the latest in a growing number of books in the last decade written by, for, and about single women. The essays in this collection, edited by Diane Mapes, cover a variety of topics from sex to menopause to single homeownership, and the authors include academics, journalists and entertainers (including comedians Margaret Cho and Chelsea Handler).

Many of the essays, especially those in the first half of the book, cover ground that is by now familiar--and perhaps a bit tired--to anyone who's read Bridget Jones's Diary or watched Sex and the City--invasive questions from pushy but well-meaning friends and family, comically bad dates, crises of confidence and a final realization that being single is a valid, valuable lifestyle -- at least until Mr. Right comes along. Most of the writers claim to be happy and satisfied with their (often by choice) singleness, but a number of the pieces are written with such an apologetic or defensive tone that I have to wonder: If women still have to work so hard to justify their choices, has our culture really changed very much in the last forty years? Or is it perhaps finally time to retire the image of the brave, quirky singleton facing off against the Great Smug Married Conspiracy?

Once it moves away form the same well-worn material and gets to adventures in travel, single adoption and homeownership, however, the book becomes much richer. In addition, one of Single State of the Union's chief strengths is the diversity of its contributors' experiences and viewpoints. Rather than a collection of twenty- and thirty-something Carrie Bradshaw wannabes, the authors represent a range of ages (I was surprised at how many were over fifty), relationship experience and sexual identity. One quibble, however, is that a wider representation of ethnic and racial diversity would have helped open the book's range even further.

Single State of the Union is an enjoyable read, often amusing and at times touching. At the end, however, I was left wondering if we'll ever come to a point when women won't need to write books to explain their choices. Perhaps we should just be grateful that women are now in a position to explain their own choices rather than having them explained for - or to - them.

Reading this book made me feel like I was hanging out with a group of girlfriends. It was funny, touching, insightful, sincere, honest and hard to put down.

As a 40+ woman, growing up during a time that's sandwiched between a generation of women that got married because it was the thing to do to a generation of women not getting married because they really don't need or necessarily want to, yet society still seems to think that there's something wrong with anyone over 40 who is unattached, it's easy to feel split.

I grew up thinking that someday, at some point I'll probably fall in love & get married. Then, I grew up, fell in & out of love and never got married and realized well, I make a really good living, enjoy my life, travel, am able to spend time on my art and enjoy my private time to an extent that I don't know that I could co-habitate, not to say I don't think about it sometimes. So why are there certain societal views that try to make me feel bad about that? Reading this book made me realize that there are so many women out there just like me, that there's nothing wrong with me, as some might have you think when you're asked the question at the company holiday party..."How old are you?!"

One of the authors explains that after years of working on her other relationships she neglected to spend time on the most important one, with herself, which she is now embracing. That is definately a relationship worth exploring and appreciating, a relationship definately worth celebrating.

Yes, I have an essay in this book, but no vested interest in sales, and I had nothing to with its composition. I have to say I'm delighted with the way it turned out, with its breadth and scope, insight and humor. If you are, or have ever been, single, you'll find oh-so-trueness throughout, whether in moments of melancholy or exhilarating freedom. What's also nice is the humming theme underneath: it's not just about "single and looking." It's not about single as an uncomfortable stop on the way to "real" -- partnered -- life. It's about living, really living, as a single person, no matter what comes before or after. Enjoy!

I picked this up in a bookstore and read the essay "An Open Letter to Mom, Deana, Mary, and the Folks at Work" by Amy Thomas. It was so well-written and insightful about the ways in which married friends and family are dismissive of the lives of single people that it's worth the price of the book alone. Am looking forward to the other essays in the collection.

I picked up this book after I saw Diane Mapes and some others at a bookstore reading. I wasn't sure what to expect, but I sat down on the couch around 9 p.m. and didn't get up until I finished it! I was hooked from the first essay and found some nice insights, beautiful writing and funny, honest passages. I put it in a permanent spot on my bookshelf and decided to re-read it whenever I need a true reality check that can't always be found in popular media: single people are happy, well-adjusted individuals. What the...??

Excellant stories of the varieties of single life. Very refreshing to see the range rather than the ONE way as "dictated" previously by society. Thank you!

Come on, you know you want to buy this book and put it face out on your shelf and then pick it up and read an essay once a day for the next 37 days (b/c there are 37 essays). Some are long and some are short, but collectively they are witty, very true, and entertaining. Some are even funny. Many are touching. And the beauty is that you don't have to be single to enjoy. (I'm not.) Oh, and if you're in a book club of women, I think this would be a great pick.