Customer Reviews

The Single Truth

5 star:		(13)
4 star:		(1)
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2 star:		(1)
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Finally! A Christian book on singlehood that isn't preachy, sugar-coated, or a thinly-disguised how-to-catch-a-spouse book (Smith states at the beginning, "as if a relationship begun by such a method would be worth having"--right on!) She attacks some of the well-meaning but wrong, and sometimes hurtful, statements from others about our singleness, such as "I know God has just the right man for you, you'll meet him someday" ....None of us knows God's plans for our friends. Or, "God must have something more to teach you". Really? Is spiritual maturity a necessity for marriage? It's not in my church!

She also points out how we tend to trivialize two of the most powerful verses in the Bible: Psalm 37:4 ("Delight yourself in the LORD and he will give you the desires of your heart"); and Jeremiah 29:11("I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future"). By focusing on these verses alone and ignoring the context (David's exaltation not to fret, to trust God, to obey him; Jeremiah's missive to the captives in Babylon telling them God wants them to stay for a while, and to never forget his future plans for the nation of Israel are always good), we trivialize the verses and turn them into sayings that will somehow magically make everything better. Smith goes on to remind us how these verses do show what God does provide when we feel like we are in a holding pattern, something much better than a magic "spell".

I, like Smith, have sometimes loved being single, and sometimes hurt deeply wondering why God has "forgotten" me in this area. I found this book to be empathic but not enabling, true to Biblical principals, and very well written. A special blessing: Smith doesn't leave out widow/ers, single parents, or divorce/es, which, sadly, many Christian books on singlehood do. She also doesn't assume her audience stops after 35. And this 41 year old is very grateful.

As an author whose writes about singleness and the Christian life, I've had occasion to read a LOT of books on singles and singleness (an occupational hazzard). Lori Smith's The Single Truth is by far the best book on the subject that I have ever picked up. In a style that is at once emotionally honest and vulnerable, yet thoroughly grounded in God's Word, Lori carries us along on her own personal (yet universal) journey as a Christian single who's disillusioned with a God who fails to do for us the things we think He should. In her quest for understanding, she moves us from a place of desperation to faith, loneliness to community, falsehood to life-giving truth.

There isn't a single anywhere (man or woman) who won't immediately relate to Lori's honest account of her struggles as a single. Her brazen honesty is refreshing--but she doesn't stop there. She goes beyond the struggle to search for genuine, realistic answers in God's Word...and she finds them. The biblical truths she shares aren't simplistic and they aren't churchy; they're real, perhaps even gritty. And they're powerful.

If you're looking for a book that encourages you to wallow in self-pity, or simply rants along with you about what a rotten hand you've been dealt in this life, then this isn't the book for you. But if you're really looking for a way out of the quiet despair that plagues so many singles, then Lori's book is the place you should begin.

I was single until 33 and read many books on relationships and singleness. This is the first one I've read devoted to being content as a single. Even though I'm married now, I can definitely relate to this book. I highly recommend this for both single men and women (don't let the cover fool you), as well as married couples. It provides a fresh perspective on being content at where you're at. Many singles are so focused on dating and getting married that they forget God's perspective. Please check this out no matter what your gender or marital status!

This is not a sugar-coated book, saying, "God will give you a mate
in time if you only trust him," etc.
It is an insightful and blunt view of how single Christians should live, accepting their desires and understanding that not everyone will marry.

However she also places the marriage question in a wider context.
Following the tradition of C.S.Lewis, she asks questions that
most modern Christian writers simply ingnore.
Why do horrible things happen to good people? Why are so many of our desires remain unfilled?..and may always be unfilled?
Why do people who do "their own things" often have happy lives, but people who do all the "right things" according to God may
find themselves alone?
This is not a good friend giving words of comfort to fellow singles friends. She writes as a good friend telling single friends what they need to hear.

Lori Smith is a gifted writer, and it is a very enjoyable book to read and skim, but be forewarned she is an adult writing to other adults. Expect uncomfortable questions to be faced head on.

This book could best be described as another "thump on the head with the club of contentment" piece, typical of books to Christian singles that appear to empathize with the grief associated with prolonged singleness while at the same time treating such feelings with near contempt. She boils down the ability to be satisfied with singleness as simply a matter of belief, as if singleness and marriage are gifts of equal value and it doesn't really matter which one you get, because marriage isn't really better, just "different". This may sound reassuring, but is it true or just "truthy"? In her lastest book "Get Married: What Women Can Do to Help it Happen", Candice Watters takes on these unfair comparisons, noting that "people who marry well and are committed to their marriages don't wish that they were single again".

Perhaps it has something to do with the youth of the author, who has not yet reached the irrevocable losses of middle-aged singleness (such as missing out on having children). But I suspect her "mind over matter" views have more to do with conforming her message to the motif that has already been set by previous Christian singles writers -- commiserate enough to open the reader's heart, then let 'em have it. In knee jerk fashion, the contentment sermon must quickly accompany any indulgence of feelings -- it's the evangelical way, isn't it?

Indeed, striving for contentment is a necessary part of the Christian walk, but when this message is hasty and overstated, it has the reverse effect. In perusing much of what has been written about singleness and contentment, there's an element of "protest too much methinkest", as if leaders are trying to cover something up, that there's something they don't want singles to notice -- the gender imbalance in the church, perhaps? Or some of the well-intentioned advice that has since been revealed as misguided?

Despite this guileless "see no evil" mentality, times for singles are tough -- and when the going gets tough, the tough get going, meaning that today's Christian singles need to start thinking outside the box and tackle the obstacles that stand in the way of Godly marriage head on. Rather than just throwing in the towel and being "content", those who haven't yet given up on marriage would do well to read Watters' book or Debbie Maken's "Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking the Gift of Singleness". C'mon folks!! Where's your giddy-up go?!!

This book really resonated in me, and I believe that it addresses a rarely-discussed issue in the church. I appreciate her honesty when Smith reiterates that she still struggles to believe the Scripture in her heart, and not just in her head. The book also covers a wide scope - from dispelling lies about marriage/singleness, to a dabbling in predestination vs. free will, to challenging the perceived definition of contentment, to offering hope that we can change our thinking about ourselves and our beliefs about singleness.

Best of all, it challenges us to pursue God first, and places the all-importance of marriage in its proper place. Many existing Christian books on relationships make the unbiblical assumption that marriage is better than singleness, and that the key to contentment is patience. The author avoids a closed, authoritative tone, but instead, asks real questions, presents answers and grounds her arguments with relevant Scripture. The Single Truth is a refreshing product of courage, honesty and commitment to Christ-likeness, and is sure to be an encouragement to many.

This book is really fantastic! A friend of mine did a small group based on the book and although I wasn't able to attend the group I read the book anyway and I am glad I did! It really is honest about how it feels to be a single and for the first time in over 4 years I feel ok about my singleness! There are times in the book when Lori Smith must have heard my prayers because she says exactly what I am feeling (especially about that old phrase, "You'll find someone" - how irritating!). This book is really a blessing for any single to get a grip on what a blessing being single can be!

The key word in the book's title is "Truth." The forthrightness of Lori's message is very refreshing. I feel as though I have been held accountable for my past poor attitudes regarding singleness and it's spirit-renewing! Even if you are a single (or you know a single person) who isn't struggling with the single status at this moment, this book is a must-read especially for the perspectives on being content.

Finally, a Biblical perspective on being single. And even better, one written by a single! While it incorporates real-life stories we can all relate to, Lori's book approaches the topic of singleness from God's point of view. What does the Creator say about marital status, about being content, about purity. So many Christian books on this topic are written by Smug Marrieds =) and are very focused on personal experience. This one, by a true Singleton, will bless you with Biblical truth!

It was so awesome just to read that someone else feels like me. It covers the ups & downs of single Christian life - telling it all without wallowing in the complexities. The bottom line - you may not get married & that's ok. It's the world who confuses you with it's messages. Keeping your eyes on God's purpose for you is the key. The church needs to be understanding single life & teaching & listening to what we have to say. I've already recommended this to a pastor & it's doing the rounds of my friends (who can't read it fast enough!). Thanks Lori for finally telling it like it is.