The Single Woman-Married Man Syndrome [Hardcover]

Richard Tuch (Author)

Book Description

ISBN-10: 0765702444 | ISBN-13: 978-0765702449 | Publication Date: July 1, 2000

The behaviours, feelings, attitudes, and thoughts exhibited by certain types of married men involved in romantic relationships with certain types of single women are so recognizable and predictable as to constitute a genuine syndrome. A relationship develops based on an unconscious agreement to gratify each other's internal longings, and the intrapsychic dynamics of one partner elicits complementary dynamics in the other. Interactional patterns that are co-determined by each of the participants are defined as much by the dyad as by individual psychology. This extreme form of intersubjectivity results in feelings of powerlessness, regression, and loss of the autonomous self, making it exceedingly hard for either one to extricate him- or herself from the relationship. The author of this book explores extramarital affairs in clinical work, the causes of this syndrome, and the capacity for mature love.

Editorial Reviews

Review

The book has wide application to developmental psychology and will be useful to the clinician, because it expands simplistic notions of extramarital affairs without vilifying either party. (Choice Magazine )

This book is a much-needed detailed clinical investigation of a phenomenon that is usually hushed up. Finally, here is a clinician who has the courage and expertise to provide us with some useful wisdom about his all too common syndrome. (John M. Gottman, Ph.D. )

Kudos are in order for Dr. Richard Tuch, who masterfully articulates to his professional audience the commonly encountered but rarely discussed syndrome—the single woman the married man. He approaches his subject with empathy and respectful curiosity, placing the reader in the couple's intersubjective field, which is characterized by obsessive longing, chronic ambivalence, and interchanging victimization. Drawing from plural psychodynamic paradigms, he artfully captures the nature of their interlocking but doomed relationship. It is a stellar, clinically rich work, reflecting Dr. Tuch's seasoned clinical acumen. (Carol Tosone, Ph.D. )

In focusing on the single woman-married man syndrome, Dr. Richard Tuch has isolated and identified a discrete and highly complex piece of behavior with elegance and with unusual clinical precision, highlighting the uniqueness of this particular constellation. He studies it from the points of view of the irreducibility of its intersubjective nature, from the dynamics of interpersonal power and control issues, and from the aspect of the later ego of the married man that the affair with the single woman is able to evoke. He ably describes the mutual illusion of powerlessness in each of the participants. This is a highly unusual study of an often overlooked syndrome of behavior with which all therapists have had to deal. (James S. Grotstein, M.D. )

About the Author

Richard Tuch, M.D., is a Training and Supervising Analyst at the Los Angeles Psychoanalytic Society and Institute, Assistant Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of California at Los Angeles, and Attending Psychiatrist at the Cedar–Sinai Medical Center. He has written numerous articles on such subjects as writer's block, the limits of empathy as a therapeutic tool, and the role of social cognition in personal relationships. A frequent presenter at meetings of the American Psychoanalytic Association, Dr. Tuch is the recipient of the 1995 Karl A. Menninger Memorial Award for Psychoanalytic Writing. He maintains a private practice in West Los Angeles.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 310 pages
• Publisher: Jason Aronson, Inc. (July 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0765702444
• ISBN-13: 978-0765702449
• Product Dimensions: 9.3 x 6.3 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,042,049 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

20 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Captures the nature of the dilemma extremely well, November 10, 2000

By 

Arrow (USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Single Woman-Married Man Syndrome (Hardcover)

Tuch is very insightful in his observations about this syndrome. Having been involved in this kind of relationship myself in the past, I can say that his description of how these relationships progress is VERY familiar. This book will provide well-needed understanding by all involved parties. This understanding is crucial in order to get unentangled from this kind of relationship...or transform the unhealthy agendas/perspectives that often permeate the relationship and give the relationship a chance to either end or work out!

10 of 13 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A compelling masterpiece, November 19, 2000

By 

Daniel J. Wallace (Los Angeles, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Single Woman-Married Man Syndrome (Hardcover)

A tour de force which demonstrates remarkable originality and insight. I agree with the New York Times' outstanding review of this monograph which breaks new ground in our understanding of a difficult problem. Well written and thought provoking.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Great insight for all parties, February 8, 2011

By 

Texas Family (USA) - See all my reviews

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: The Single Woman-Married Man Syndrome (Paperback)

Regardless of which party you are in this triangle, it is helpful in understanding what the bleep is going on with yourself or in the other person's head. Hopefully, you will gain some much needed insight into the truth about what is really going. I found it to be insightful and accurate, as did my spouse. Although it is based on the dynamic of the single woman involved with a married man, it never-the-less helps explain the actions of trollops, sex addicts, philanders and other misguided participating individuals. It was a much better read then expected.