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Singles at the Crossroads: A Fresh Perspective on Christian Singleness

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If nearly 1/2 of today's adult population is single; why do you feel like a minority? Hsu states that the average CHURCH single population is around 15%. Singles' needs may not be met in most of today's churches; but Hsu reminds us that our needs CAN be met by God. This book has been such a wonderful blessing to me; I encourage you to read it.

You will learn the history of singleness in the church, and come to understand why people think they way they do. You will find value in your life as a Christian, and come to see that a calling to singleness is equal to the calling of married life. Both provide an opportunity to live for Jesus (though you have more freedoms as a single).

Hsu reminds us that "Scripture affirms that each of us is a whole person by ourself, because we are created in the image of God" (p. 71). Amen to that!

This book is challenging. Singles at the crossroads illuminates the issue of marriage & Christianity. Many singles feel marginalized from the culture of heavy emphasis on the physical family.

Hsu gives honest insight into the possibility of living a celibate life in serving God. Indeed we are all part of God's kingdom. I really liked how he explained how people who do choose to lead celibate lives do experience the same yearnings & desires as anybody else & how honest & open communication with God about these desires is what God wants of us. This book goes over some of the advantages & disadvantages of both being Celibate and being Married.

Indeed this book is also useful to those who want to be married since it serves as a reminder that we have to follow God's will above all else & that God's Will is for us to love him above all else.

Personally I have always held the desire for marriage very highly. I found myself loving others more than I loved God. This book challenged me to follow God's will, & serve Him as my greatest desire. Instead of asking to meet my future wife, I now ask God for Faith & the desire to follow his will no matter what it is because that is what is best for me.

This book also devotes a couple chapters to giving statistics (they are surprising & relevant). I think this book has substance since it served as a part of a catalyst for much growth in my faith.

I know it has been said before, but "Finally a book that puts Christian singleness in the right perspective! " I read this book several months ago, and I am still pondering its meaning in my life. I know that God is calling me to be single for a long time, because He has something in store for me that a married person cannot do. Hsu really opened my eyes about what it means to be single, and God really used him to speak to me about His will. Hsu has so many good, Biblical insights on Christian singleness, that I would encourage everyone, single or married to read this book. From pointing out singles in the Bible to sharing about his single friends to relating his own personal stories, Hsu helps his readers to understand that God DOES call some people to be single, and that this call is not something to dread, but to embrace.

"The Gift of Singleness" has recently (finally!) become a hot topic among Christian singles. Used almost universally among Christian writers ministering to singleness (13000 websites and counting), its most recent detractors argue that it is too closely linked with "called to singleness", an obsolete notion that places inordinate emphasis on receiving special revelation or "word from the Lord" about his plan to either marry or stay single. Debbie Maken is one of the critics who believes that it also overemphasizes contentment in the face of a growing problem of protracted singleness that affects mostly women, creating confusion about God's will, as well as complacency about taking timely action towards marriage. What's more, it's an entirely modern term, unheard of by previous generations of Christians who never considered singleness or marriage to be a gift or a calling, and weren't afraid to use agency to find a spouse.

A predecessor to this movement, Albert Hsu's book promised to debunk the "myth of the gift of singleness", but added to the confusion by putting another spin on it. In this write-up of how he did this, I hope to illustrate how we've gotten stuck with this lousy gift and why it needs to go, not back to the gift shop "for an exchange" as Hsu cheerfully suggests, but straight to the Christian lexicon trashcan.

Hsu's "gift of singleness" begins the same way as with other Christian writers on the topic: with a misinterpretation of 1 Corinthians 7:7: "Here's how we can read verse 7. `I wish that all were as I myself am [single]. But each has a particular gift from God, one having one kind [singleness] and another a different kind [marriage]' (NRSV). Some have one gift and others have another. Some are single and some are married. If you have one gift, you don't have the other. They're mutually exclusive." He credits these insights for this passage from The Message, which reads the latter part of the verse as "God gives the gift of the single life to some, the gift of the married life to others.", even though that is NOT what Paul said or meant!

This misinterpretation all started with the Living Bibles of the early 70's that were most likely trying to downplay the "gift of celibacy" or bring modern relevance to the passage by making it about singleness. But even Gordon Fee says no one can be sure if "I myself am" in the first half is referring to singleness or celibacy. One thing that Fee and other scholars have overlooked was the Greek word IDIOS that precedes "gift" ("charisma": Greek for grace gift) in the second half of the verse. Idios is more correctly translated as "particular" or "peculiar", as a matter of fact, it's the root of the English word "idiosyncratic", and the French word "idiot", which means "peculiar one".

Now, why all the fuss about IDIOS? Because: Paul was talking about something idiosyncratic, not something either/or. Your thumbprint is idiosyncratic, there's none other like it. The rh factor of your blood is NOT idiosyncratic: you're either positive or negative. Also, Marital status is not idiosyncratic: you're either married or you're not. The "idios charisma" Paul was referring to was neither singleness nor marriage: he was talking about his own preference and relating that with an aside about the uniqueness of our gifts from God. He accentuates his point about uniqueness using a Greek expression still common today: "hos men houto de hos houto", most closely translated in the KJV and NASB as "one after/in this manner, and another after/in that." It's a figure of speech! "This" and "that" are non-specific: "this" does not mean marriage and "that" does not mean "singleness", or vice versa, as the Living Bible, The Message and Al Hsu have concluded! Nor can we assume that Paul was claiming to have some special gift of celibacy: whatever was his gift that allowed him to proceed on such a perilous mission alone, he probably didn't quite understand himself. Certainly, there's no biblical evidence to suggest that God took away his sexual desires, (but plenty that suggests he struggled with something of a fleshly nature), nor has this happened to anyone else. However Paul may have been gifted, he was gifted in his own particular way.

And so what does this mean? THERE IS NO SUCH THING FOR ANY OF US AS "THE GIFT OF SINGLENESS" OR "THE GIFT OF CELIBACY" for that matter. The Bible almost always talks about marriage and singleness pragmatically in terms of PERSONAL VOLITION, rather than divine calling: a man "finds a wife" in Proverbs 18:22, or "takes a wife" in 1 Corinthians 9:5, "made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven" in Matthew 19:12. And it seems that Hsu is trying to affirm this volitional quality by stating that "The "gift" of singleness is descriptive, not restrictive. It does not prevent singles from getting married if they so desire and circumstances permit."

However well-intentioned Hsu's attempts at this revision of the term, it still carries with it the heavy history of biblical misinterpretation and mid 20th century church leaders, (proliferated particularly by the never married but later disgraced Bill Gothard) who used the term to over-emphasize the need for divine revelation for being "called" to marriage or singleness, creating untold agony and distress for countless numbers of single people, as described by Ellen Varughese in The Freedom to Marry. "Called to singleness" and "gift of singleness" are inextricably linked.

We don't need to call singleness a gift to encourage people to work with its advantages and be content, or use it to honor those who devote themselves to celibate service (and they don't need the flattery of having it called a gift, if indeed their service is sincere). Even if God values single people and married people equally, it is patronizing and dismissive to suggest that singleness and marriage are of gifts equal value to the majority singles who indeed want to marry but can't find partners, as is the case with the many Christian women today who vastly outnumber their male cohorts. Deeming singleness a gift has become a Pollyanna ploy for avoiding issues, like the gender imbalance and other factors behind widespread protracted singleness, such as the bad teachings that go along with calling singleness a gift, as outlined in Maken's book (and my review of it).

Let's all stop using it, and work together to persuade church leaders to do the same. We can begin by appealing to the editors of The Message and other modern translations to go back to translations of 1Corinthians 7:7 that conform more closely with the original Greek.

Dear friends of singles and singles. First things, though I read the Amazon reviews and use Amazon lots, and have thought of writing a review, this is the first I have written, ever. Why? Because, after countless discussion on singleness and marriage with folks, God and myself, I have found Hsu's book to be the most well-rounded and comprehensive, taking into account the breadth, depth and width of the worldwide and historical Church/Body of Christ, though clearly evangelical. After working with college campus ministry for 8 years, teaching college students 8 years, and teaching secondary for 6 years, this issue is very much discussed, debated even. And after living overseas for 6 years and visiting a dozen plus nations and the ethnicities, languages, ideas, religions, pedagogies, denominations, worship styles, theologies, etc., I realize in a much more profound way how so much of who I am and what I think is very much a construct of the culture and subcultures I am and were a part of. Short of it: all of us wear tainted lenses (though we seldom see it--"the fish never thinks of the water he is in" !!!), Hsu helped me to see that (though not his goal I am sure) and thus a fresh "perspective" on singleness/celibacy/chastity and I stand once again in wonder at Christ the Creator's diversity, greatness and goodness for all of us, single or married, and His Kingdom Will.

If you ever felt a little out of place because you were not a part of the minivan crowd, "Singles at the Crossroads" is for you. You know how sometimes you wonder where in the Bible it says "Salvation is only for those whose live's emulated Ozzie and Harriet?" Albert Hsu knows that feeling. Okay, so maybe he doesn't use the minivan or Ozzie Nelson metaphor, but he does make the very strong point that our relationship with Jesus Christ is what really matters.

Most books written for Christian singles center around preparing for marriage or what to do while you're waiting for Mr. Right to come along. But what happens if Mr. Right never shows up? Albert Hsu is one of the few writers bold enough to take on this disturbing (to some) issue. He demolishes this "gift of singleness" talk and rightly points out that anyone who is currently single has been given the gift of singleness, at least for now. The history of how singleness was viewed in the church was also very instructive, considering the current emphasis on the family and "family values." As someone who has been single far longer than she expected, I reread this book from time to time to remind myself that God does not consider singles in any way inferior to those who are married.

I have been involved in Singles Ministry for 26 years & found this book to contain more truth concerning the subject of singles than any other resource I have ever seen. It is well researched & documented to expose doctrinal errors that have locked singles into destructive patterns which hinder them from serving God with their whole hearts. He presents perfectly balanced, theologically sound, teaching concerning the choices facing singles. He has given the choice of singleness the respect it deserves while still valuing marriage as the gift it is. Any single who understands and lives by the principles presented by Hsu, then later chooses to marry, will have a healthier marriage than anyone without this understanding. This is without a doubt my #1 recommended book for our singles.

When I first saw the title of this book, I was delighted. As a young single man, I've read many books and have written on the subject. As an academic read, it is a phenomenal book but as an inspirational how-to, it falls a little short.

I agree with Hsu's basic premise. There is a subtle prejudice against single people in the church. They are often viewed incomplete without a spouse. Who hasn't heard the patronizing, "We've got to find you someone" as if nothing a single person does is credible until he becomes married. It is very hard to be taken serious in your Christian life if you are not married. Sometimes marriage isn't just a facet of the Chrsitian life--it is made to be the only thing in the Christian life. Hsu does a good job of echoing the frustrations of single believers who wish to be taken seriously and are (God forbid) content to wait for the right person.

Singles at the Crossroads is light on inspiration and anedotes and heavy on statistics. It's more of a "Leading Indicators of the Single Life." Hsu may go a tad overboard with his overly academic approach. Plowing through the research may grow cumbersome. A little less Gallup poll and a little more Max Lucado would make this book an easier read.

When you do get to Hsu's point of view, he leans heavily toward singleness. Singles shouldn't be pressured into marriage, but I don't think they shouldn't be pressured not to marry if it is the right situation and God has his hand on the relationship.

For a young inattentive reader, I would suggest Joshua Harris' two classics: I Kissed Dating Goodbye and Boy Meets Girl. They are filled with real-world anecdotes. For an academic overview of the Christian single experience, Hsu's book fits the bill.

Though slightly cumbersome, Hsu's book addresses the needs of an increasingly growing evangelical demographic, provoking much needed dialogue about the mystery of dating and mating.

I've picked up some books on "Singles" at some area Christian bookstores. And alot of them went straight to the trash.
This book however was probably the best book on the subject and **needs** to be read by the entire church body, not just singles.

The title of my review is equal gift-ed-ness. The church is for spreading God's Word and Gospel to the world, not simply a hang-out-place for people who are married and people who are trying to get married (and throw "have kids" in there as well). The church's mission is not get people married and have kids, the church's mission is telling the Good News to the world. For anyone who thinks different, I would encourage you to go read 1 Corinthians 7 and realize that those teachings (the teachings found in 1 Corinthians 7) are actually in the Bible.

This book does not glorify single-ness. Nor does it degrade it. It's a healthy perspective for anyone to read.

Pick one up, you'll be glad you did.

1 Corinthians 7:7(b) But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.