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Singlism: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Stop It Paperback – May 17, 2011

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Singlism: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Stop It + Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After + Going Solo: The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone
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Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Bella DePaulo (PhD, Harvard) is the author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After and of Single with Attitude: Not Your Typical Take on Health and Happiness, Love and Money, Marriage and Friendship. She has been a Visiting Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara since the summer of 2000. Dr. DePaulo writes the Living Single blog for Psychology Today, and is also a contributor to the Huffington Post. Her op-ed essays have appeared in papers such as the New York Times, the San Francisco Chronicle, Forbes, and the Chronicle of Higher Education. Bella DePaulo has discussed the place of singles in society on NPR, CNN, and many other media outlets, and her work has been described in newspapers (such as the New York Times and the Washington Post) and magazines (such as Time and Business Week). DePaulo also studies the social psychology of deception, and has provided expert analysis of the topic for the Today show and other network news shows. More information about her background, her books, and her contact information, together with her All Things Single (and More) blog, can be found at her website, www.BellaDePaulo.com. Bella DePaulo has always been single and she is living happily ever after in the lovely little beach community of Summerland, California.

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 266 pages
  • Publisher: DoubleDoor Books (May 17, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0615486789
  • ISBN-13: 978-0615486789
  • Product Dimensions: 7 x 0.6 x 10 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.3 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #420,474 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

I'm Bella DePaulo. I'm a 60-something year old and I have always been single. I love my single life. But I do not love all of the ridiculous assumptions people make about me when they first meet me and learn that I am single. (No, I do not spend my evenings crying in my beer.) I'm also a social scientist (with a PhD in social psychology from Harvard). I write about singles with a passion. My work on this topic (and others) has appeared in publications such as the New York Times, the New Yorker, the Washington Post, Time magazine, and many others. There have been feature stories in Psychology Today and the AARP magazine. I've also been on the Today show and other morning shows, CNN, NPR, and many others. I've written op-eds for publications such as the New York Times, Newsday, the San Francisco Chronicle, Forbes, and the Chronicle of Higher Education. I have been a visiting professor of psychology at UC Santa Barbara since 2000. I think that makes me a permanent visitor. Get in touch if you would like to hire me to speak at your event.

My first book on singles was "Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After." My second is a collection of 89 essays, "Single with Attitude: Not Your Typical Take on Health and Happiness, Love and Money, Marriage and Friendship." After that, I published "Singlism: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Stop It," then "The Best of Single Life," and most recently, "Marriage vs. Single Life: How Science and the Media Got It So Wrong" and "The Science of Marriage: What We Know That Just Isn't So."

I am also an expert on the social psychology of lying. I wrote a short book, "Behind the Door of Deceit: Understanding the Biggest Liars in Our Lives." I also published a collection of professional papers, "The Lies We Tell and the Clues We Miss" and a number of other deception books after that.

In August 2015, my new book will be published by Beyond Words, a partner imprint of Simon & Schuster. It is "How We Live Now: Redefining Home and Family in the 21st Century."

You can read more about all of my work on my website, www.BellaDePaulo.com.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

25 of 26 people found the following review helpful By Mark A. Almlie on June 15, 2011
Format: Paperback
This book is nothing short of a landmark, watershed book on how singles are treated in every sphere of life in America. It is comprehensive and features a wide array of authors, most of whom have advanced degrees in their respective field. Singles are the new silent majority in American households, and I hope that it is not long before they start understanding that they have a collective voice that can meaningfully, artfully, and articulately change the cultural landscape and correct some of the prejudices facing singles today. This book will go a long way toward helping that happen.
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18 of 21 people found the following review helpful By Christopher L. Richards on August 3, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Being SINGLE and enjoying it. After reading this book and hearing Ms. Depaulo on NPR one afternoon I have come to a decision of what to do with my time in early retirement. Now that the LBGT crowd has fought & got what they need to progress with their lives with the repeal of DOMA it is time for ours. The idea that I have to support the U.S.governments breeding program with my taxes and families receive more than 1235 federal tax breaks is crazy. If you can't afford them don't have them. And it goes on with the vacation & leisure industry. Singles pay as much as double. Kids eat free though. And I'm not talking about cheap places either. How about Hilton line. There are all sorts of freebies if you bring your brood. Or the restaurant industry where they would rather put you at the bar than at a table, even if you have called ahead and reserved a table for one. Again I am talking about 4 & 5 star facilities. I suppose the final insult came when my sister came to visit last summer & spent a week in my new retirement home. The first day she asked "well what is going to happen to all your money when you die?" Then proceded to roll off a list of suggestions: (1) Pay for the grand childrens college education (all 5 of them) (2) and or pay for there first house (all 5 of them). I kept my mouth shut & said it is all going to non-profit organizations & if it makes you feel any better I'll do it in memory of them. Singles are taken advantage all the time. We are 57% of the adult population. It is time to take control. CLR
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By A Careful Reader on January 8, 2012
Format: Paperback
This is yet another beautiful and necessary book from a pioneering social psychologist (at least that's what I call her) and I learned so much from this great book.
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8 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Daniel G. Burke on November 21, 2012
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
I'm a freelance artist, and someone who is denied health benefits from my girlfriend's company because we are an unmarried opposite-sex couple without the protections of marriage OR domestic-partner laws.

This book speaks to me, because nobody else seems to care about this problem. It's barely on the RADAR, so I am happy to see someone, especially a female, speaking-directly to me on this issue. It's also mind-boggling that a company would willingly deny opposite-sex couples the same rights enjoyed by gay-couples, even if they don't have to cover them. With marriage on the decline, more and more people will notice this unfair treatment. Of course, this exposes a huge problem with employer-based healthcare. Ideology quite literally prevents me from getting coverage offered to married couples and gay domestic partners working for the same company.

I even considered suing my girlfriend's company but after talking to a lawyer, he said that no lawyer would take a case like this pro-bono and that I probably wouldn't win. Why does my state mandate coverage for gay-couples (through domestic partner benefit-sharing) but doesn't allow this same privilege for opposite-sex cohabiting couples? It's utterly medieval to me. Basically, people who are unmarried are punished, because the government prefers marriage over non-marriage. I utterly reject the idea of marriage because I am an atheist and a realist. I want the right to be unmarried and most marriages end in divorce, even with the best of intentions.

And, if one more person suggests that I should 'just get married' to solve the problem of marital-status discrimination, I'm gonna scream. :) By the way, my girlfriend and I have been together going on 15 years now. The fact that a company would deny us healthcare benefit-sharing is asinine.
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