Customer Reviews

Sinner Takes All: A Memoir of Love and Porn

5 star:		(8)
4 star:		(6)
3 star:		(5)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

*spoilers*.

I'm not sure if it is Tera Patrick, or her writer Carrie, who has made her voice in this story so inconsistent, but while this story is by default interesting, there is definitely something wrong with it. I don't feel that the reader gets much of a sense of who the *real* Tera Patrick is, despite the inclusion of diary entries, cute old photographs of Tera as a young girl, and lots of endearing stories.

Despite Tera's obvious efforts to let the reader into her private thoughts - there's plenty of confessional-style information here - something falls flat. She's happy to reveal that she is an exhibitionist, and her vanity never comes across as arrogant. She admits her first sexual experiences were damaging. She makes it clear that she loves sex and everything in her career was on her own terms. She's proud of her achievements and comes across as a likeable woman.

There are two problems with the book: the first is the aforementioned writing. This book is packed with contradictions and is, in my opinion, badly written. Her lifestyle stances switch without discussion: she confidently states she didn't want children, then suddenly she does, with no discussion as to why her feelings on the subject changed. One minute she is fine being a "pillow queen", she next she hates it. One minute she is aggressive towards men sexually, even strangers, the next she insists she never makes the first move. One never gets a clear sense of who Tera really is. She mentions the porn couple "curse", of how couples in porn together are always doomed - then immediately runs through a list of happy, successful porn couples. I don't understand the writing here, and I wish Tera had chosen a different author to represent her.

There is a section where Tera has been hospitalized for her manic behaviour, and discusses how she came to terms with her (undiagnosed) condition by going through the various stages of anger, denial, bargaining, etc. This is described as being a lengthy and grueling process, until the reader uncovers that the entire span of her hospitalization was TWO WEEKS. I am not trying to downplay Tera's experiences, but the writing undermines them and makes what was definitely a hard time of self-discovery for Tera into an overwrought, dramatic parody.

The second problem with this book is the fact that easily half of it focuses on her relationship with ex-Biohazard frontman Evan Seinfeld. Right out of the gate, I'm sure everyone in Tera's life flagged this guy as a problem, but she marries him, makes him her manager and proceeds to hail him as her saviour throughout the rest of the book. I wish Tera had realized that SHE is the focal point of her own story, not him. I don't care THIS much about her relationship. It's very clear that she was very much in love with this guy. VERY clear. Ultimately it ends up too bad that so much of her book focuses on this guy.

The tacked-on afterword, in which Tera reveals her husband ended up being a scumbag, ends up backfiring on Tera once again. And once again, it is due to the writing. Over and over and over and over she insists she is "better off". Stronger. Happier. Smarter. OVER AND OVER to the point where it seems she is absolutely NOT all right with the end of the marriage. This section should have been edited like CRAZY, and it wasn't, and it hurts the book.

There is a slight reek of "cash in" to this book, particularly where she plugs her movies and websites, but Tera provides the reader with enough scandalous stories, porn-movie and celebrity insights that it's worth it. It's too bad that the book isn't written well enough to move us smoothly through it. And it's too bad that so much focus was put on her relationship - Tera's story itself would have been more than enough. I don't know how many people would buy this book hoping for so much information on a guy she was involved with.

Sinner Takes All is a blend of many things. On one hand it's a nice biography which covers the youth, professional career and key points of Tera Patrick's life. It's also epic love story about the woman who met the man of her dreams and carved out a happy and romantic life with him. The book is also a tragedy, from sexual experiences with men far older than they should be at times far earlier than it should to Valuim and alcohol addiction, suicide attempts and mental illness. Mixed in are a spattering of Q & A's, porn tips, erotic pictures and sex advice. Individually these things would all make interesting books, but together it's a bit of a hodge podge.

On the upside Tera does cover a number of really interesting aspects of her career. She sets the record straight about why she got her breasts enlarged, who she has and hasn't slept with, her actual religious background and more. Tara's retelling of her first photo shoot with Suze Randall and first porn shoot with Andrew Blake are charming and her descriptions of her sexual escapades with Evan are fun.

*** SPOILER ALERT ***

But the biggest hurdle of Sinner Takes all is what happens to the epic love story that it tells. The middle of the book covers Tera and Evan's romance, the way he helped her find her way through hell and how they built a company together to represent what she really wanted for herself. I absolutely love the "he said, she said" section of the book where both Tera and Evan give their perspective about how they met, her mental break downs and working in porn together. At the end of the book, Tera throws a hand grenade to this, announcing her divorce from Evan and accusing him of using her to get into porn.

The Afterward is clearly a mistake, and one which co-author Carrie Borzillo should have helped stopped. It honestly doesn't matter how things turned out after the story has been told. The story really ends at the 2009 AVN Awards with Tera getting inducted into the hall of fame and deciding to quit performing. For her to revise the ground already covered in the book from a much different and much more negative perspective just doesn't work, it's like telling the story of Sleeping Beauty and then saying that the prince who gave her the kiss that awoke her from her slumber only did it to have sex with her and have her as his trophy wife. Even if Evan didn't turn out to be Tera's Prince Charming in the end, the fairytale romance is so compelling that we don't really want to hear a revision of it at the end of the book.

Issues aside, Sinner Takes All is a captivating read (and with over 100 pictures and 286 pages it's a fairly quick read). I don't know if Tera Patrick's tale here is a cautionary tale or one of a woman triumphing against the odds. Perhaps this dichotomy is what best sums her up and in the end we are left hoping that somehow she'll find happiness and a life that she now dreams of.

This was pretty entertaining, although the second half of the book and on--which is about her marriage--is blah and pretty indulgent. I don't know why they thought it would be a good idea for her husband to write portions of the book in his perspective--I just really didn't care about most of it--and was pretty sick of them both by the end of it.

Tera Patrick, a former model, is one of the most beautiful women ever to appear in pornographic movies. If you're more than a casual watcher of adult films, you know already that she is a diva, a self-professed "pillow queen," the type of porn actress that doesn't participate with much enthusiasm, other than to look stunning. What's so surprising is how lovable and human she comes across in this book. Tera takes us on a fast-paced narrative of her journey from teen model to porn star, to nervous breakdown, to porn star again, to the mature woman she is today. Reading the story, it felt like it all happened so fast, which is probably how it felt to her.

This book is for a much wider audience than horny young men. What sets this book apart from all the other tiresome celebrity memoirs is Tera's adorable drama queen nature. Before you read this book, she sounds like the standard formula for porn girl - started in nude photos, got into porn, got into drugs and alcohol, married another porn star. The difference is when Tera writes about her experiences, she contradicts herself. She loves sex, and then she admits she's not really that into it. (Which viewers have probably figured out from watching her performances). She's proud of her work in porn, yet she won't watch her movies and she discourages other girls from entering the industry. She makes blunder after blunder, yet she's still standing. Tera does not come across as the typical jaded, hardened porn star, nor does she glamorize the industry.

She is a huge storm of femininity; her contradictions and tender humanity, even her craziness, is all oddly lovable. If this is the kind of book you would never read, then read it. If it's the kind of book you love, it might be more than you expected.

Note to kindle readers:
This is either the perfect book for the kindle, or the worst. The good part is you can read this guilty pleasure with glee without anyone knowing what you are reading. The not-so-good part is the book has a lot of photos. However, the photos look surprising clear on the kindle, and of course even better on the kindle app for the PC. The pricing is also higher than a typical kindle book - what can you do? You money is keeping a girl from doing more porn movies.

The writing is awful! I'm over halfway done and I'm only going to finish it because it's a very easy read. I bought the book to get an insight into why and how a beautiful young woman gets into porn. I think I sort of got my answer.

I don't believe in sin; Tera (Linda) is equally loved by God in my book. Just the same, I wouldn't get into porn if I was in her shoes. I get the sense that she doesn't really like people or herself and it was her way of getting back at her mother and the world ("F U. I'm beautiful, rich, know rock stars and celebrities and I'm not ashamed of who I am") She is not overtly arrogant, but it is very subtle. I think it DOES have something to do with her relationship with her mother. She is still emotionally not complete with the rejection she felt as a young girl. That said, I admire her candidness about loving sex.

I wish Neil Strauss would have written this book. He would have made her madness endearing. I've heard Tera in interviews and I found her refreshing and like-able. This book was disappointing. She comes across as superficial, seeking security in a tough, biker type with tattoos. She should learn the lessons of war; mighty soldiers and strong horses perish; tanks and guns are destroyed or decay. True security lay within.

Nevertheless, she is a mirror from which I see myself reflected.

This book is probably for her hard core (no pun intended) fans. I picked it up after reading Tommyland and the Heroin Diaries. After reading this book you learn that she is an exibitionist, loves pot and suffers from anxiety and depression. No surprise here. The quality of the writing also leaves something to be desired. The book has some very nice photo's including the dust jacket that can be turn inside out to reveal a poster.

Tera Patrick's autobiography is at times funny, but often quite sad. This is a woman that happened to be born very beautiful but who had a severely abusive and, most likely, bipolar immigrant mother and a absent, pot smoking hippy dad. She was taller than the boys, developed early and was half Thai, a perfect recipe for being bullied or feeling out of place. I love how she mentions the full names of the twins that bullied her in school, putting that in the book must have been cathartic for the author.
She found solace and much craved attention in sex and in men's attention. She idolized images of Marilyn Monroe as a young girl but even the author acknowledges that Marilyn, too, was a very sad and messed up person. As a side issue one can look at the cover of another porn star-turned-author, Jenna Jameson, and see that on the cover of her autobiography she is dressed up just like Marilyn Monroe. Tera herself turns out to be a train wreck who fights alcoholism, drug abuse and finally bipolar disease that send her straight to the psych ward. She finally emerges like a Phoenix with success, money and world wide recognition, but did she lose her soul on the way? Except for the wealth and immense beauty it's basically a story of a lost girl who descends into drug use and mental illness but who really wants someone to love her. The author claims that she was never raped or sexually abused and thus didn't have the usual prerequisites to enter porn, but it's quite clear from reading her story that there were quite enough of bad things in her young life to break a tender soul.
After reading Tera Patrick's, Jenna Jameson's and finally Christy Canyon's books it's evident that these women are all highly intelligent and often have a strong desire to love but also that all three had absent, abusive or dead mothers and absent, but surprisingly not abusive fathers.

I have read several books by porn stars but this one was very honest, articulate and real. I didn't get the feeling that Tera was trying to sell a book. I got that she really wanted people to know her story. She wanted people to understand why she got into the business and how she got into the business. It's also a great lesson in the Law of Attraction. She got everything she wanted -- and it wasn't all it was cracked up to be. I have a lot of respect for Ms. Patrick.

It was exactly what another reviewer wrote, the only thing I would add, is that is not well written, at times not coherent, basically it jumps around from 3 years old to 7 years old then back to 3 years old then all of a sudden 14 years old, I did not get past the first two chapters. Amazon is great, the book, not so much

I gave this book five stars because it is a miracle this beautiful woman is alive. I really am not going to tell you much about the book but it is a page turner, at times very disturbing and a heart breaker. She starts a modeling career at age 14 and loses her virginity aka statutory rape. Over and over it seems people take advantage of her but somehow she finds the silver lining. She also wrestles with abusing alcohol, pot and valium and has a mental breakdown during an excruciating battle with Digital Playground to break free. I can only describe her as a Phoenix and it will be exciting to see what she does next.

I remember one socialite said to me, "We don't travel in the same circles." This from a woman that was literally prostituting herself getting clothes, free rides on private jets and gifts in exchange for sex with rich men while in contrast Tera's sister Debby points out, she takes pride in Tera helping sexually empower women. I find Tera and other women in porn that have become media moguls fascinating, bravely transformative and honest when compared with main stream movie stars.

Tera Patrick explains at the very end of her book she was given the option to re-write the book because of her divorce from Evan Sienfeld, rock star turned porn star and she said no. She told her story from the heart and the"afterward" was essential for explaining the end of her marriage and important since many chapters are an "Evan Sienfeld lovefest". One theme comes across loud and strong...love is essential to her. The book is not great but Tera Patrick's courage to tell her story deserves 5 stars.