Sins of the Family [Paperback]

Beverly Hubble Tauke (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 30, 2004

Every family has relational habits--both positive and negative--passed down from generation to generation. Family counselor Beverly Hubble Tauke, citing real-life stories and suggesting specific "transforming practices," shows how to put an end to a cycle of negativity and change family patterns so that you and your family can enjoy healthy relationships for generations to come. Full of surprising wit and inspiring insight, Sins of the Family will help families find the joy God intended for them.

Product Details

• Paperback: 208 pages
• Publisher: SaltRiver (August 30, 2004)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0842386971
• ISBN-13: 978-0842386975
• Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.5 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (8 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #791,721 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars This book will impact readers and their family relationships, April 2, 2005

By 

FaithfulReader.com (New York, New York) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Sins of the Family (Paperback)

There are a lot of words on the cover of this book. "Overcoming the Sins of the Family." A subtitle: "Becoming the Redemptive Generation." Then, in case you didn't get it, there's also a descriptive line: "Eight destiny-changing practices to help you overcome a painful past and create a legacy of joy for the future." Once you're inside the book, sidebar lists ("Strategic Questions for Revised Family Roles"; "Destroyer Traits"; "Family Peacemaker Strategy"... ) leave no question but that this is a self-help book. If the family you have doesn't work, here's an explication of eight "transforming habits" by which you can improve your relationships through biblically supported principles of family therapy.

Author Beverly Hubble Tauke is a family counselor in Northern Virginia. One of her more interesting credentials is facilitating workshops for homeless adults at a gospel mission, where she sees some of the most destructive effects of --- to use a biblical phrase --- "the sins of the fathers" being repeated generation after generation.

Scripturally the book's foundational "transforming habit" --- "Explore and resolve wounds from family history" --- is rooted in a verse from Nehemiah: "They . . . confessed their sins and the wickedness of their fathers" (9:2). Tauke notes, "Nehemiah demonstrated how to take a 'moral inventory,' not just of personal life, but of family history, a challenge issued millennia before Alcoholics Anonymous and others discovered the power of this healing strategy."

Another critical chapter illustrates how to "minimize the family tyrant's power over you" by courageously and lovingly setting boundaries. And another --- "Seek one-on-one relationships with each member of your family" --- includes a great counseling-session anecdote that shows the value of communicating directly with individuals, not through intermediaries or by garnering support for one's own position against someone else.

Virtually all the anecdotes in SINS OF THE FAMILY illustrate troubled adult relationships, between spouses and among adult siblings and their parents. To complement contemporary family scenarios --- extensive enough to provide solutions as well as set up problems --- Tauke draws her therapeutic points out of life stories of historical and biblical figures including Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Katherine Graham, David son of Jesse, and Abigail wife of David.

The best part of the book is its appendix, which gives 15 anecdotal scenarios, each followed by three multiple choice solutions ("Which option would you choose?") and then Tauke's take on which solution is recommended. Case studies end with a "family-functioning issue to consider." A few too many of these "issues" are phrased in sociological jargon. Case in point: "The inevitable mind-relationship linkage assures that moody habits by either marital partner risk both partners and their marital cohesion, while squelching family warmth...."

Ultimately the book is about enjoying relational freedom --- not a freedom that comes by running away from home but a freedom that comes from finding the best of your "home." One chapter, "Activate a Family Freedom Formula," wraps up with a clearly stated recipe: "Clarity. Integrity. Courage. Resolve. A bit of sensitivity. That blend of ingredients brought [family members] home again. Home to the other's heart, made safe. Home to the other's mind, made open. Home to chosen, not imposed, roles.

"You and your family can take the same journey --- home again."

--- Reviewed by Evelyn Bence

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Provocative and Insightful, December 11, 2004

By 

J. Burnley - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Sins of the Family (Paperback)

Seldom have I read a book which is so full of insights about the challenges each of us faces in life. Ms. Tauke beautifully blends empirical and first-hand evidence to support her thesis that most serious personal problems have multigeneralional histories. She also offers practical advice on how to overcome such problems. The book is very user-friendly. It should be read through, and then used as a reference.

4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars family patterns, October 28, 2004

By 

Dawn B (Glenview, Illinois) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Sins of the Family (Paperback)

How many times have you caught yourself doing something and thought: I'm just like my mother, I'm just like my father? This book explores the family habits that affect our lives - some for better, some for worse. It teaches us how to recognize "inherited" behaviour patterns and change the ones that sabotage our happiness. Written in a very accessible, easy style, this is a book one wants to give to family and friends. Beverly Hubble is onto something, and I'm guessing we'll hear more from her.