Customer Reviews

Sins of the Family

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

There are a lot of words on the cover of this book. "Overcoming the Sins of the Family." A subtitle: "Becoming the Redemptive Generation." Then, in case you didn't get it, there's also a descriptive line: "Eight destiny-changing practices to help you overcome a painful past and create a legacy of joy for the future." Once you're inside the book, sidebar lists ("Strategic Questions for Revised Family Roles"; "Destroyer Traits"; "Family Peacemaker Strategy"... ) leave no question but that this is a self-help book. If the family you have doesn't work, here's an explication of eight "transforming habits" by which you can improve your relationships through biblically supported principles of family therapy.

Author Beverly Hubble Tauke is a family counselor in Northern Virginia. One of her more interesting credentials is facilitating workshops for homeless adults at a gospel mission, where she sees some of the most destructive effects of --- to use a biblical phrase --- "the sins of the fathers" being repeated generation after generation.

Scripturally the book's foundational "transforming habit" --- "Explore and resolve wounds from family history" --- is rooted in a verse from Nehemiah: "They . . . confessed their sins and the wickedness of their fathers" (9:2). Tauke notes, "Nehemiah demonstrated how to take a 'moral inventory,' not just of personal life, but of family history, a challenge issued millennia before Alcoholics Anonymous and others discovered the power of this healing strategy."

Another critical chapter illustrates how to "minimize the family tyrant's power over you" by courageously and lovingly setting boundaries. And another --- "Seek one-on-one relationships with each member of your family" --- includes a great counseling-session anecdote that shows the value of communicating directly with individuals, not through intermediaries or by garnering support for one's own position against someone else.

Virtually all the anecdotes in SINS OF THE FAMILY illustrate troubled adult relationships, between spouses and among adult siblings and their parents. To complement contemporary family scenarios --- extensive enough to provide solutions as well as set up problems --- Tauke draws her therapeutic points out of life stories of historical and biblical figures including Abraham Lincoln, Winston Churchill, Katherine Graham, David son of Jesse, and Abigail wife of David.

The best part of the book is its appendix, which gives 15 anecdotal scenarios, each followed by three multiple choice solutions ("Which option would you choose?") and then Tauke's take on which solution is recommended. Case studies end with a "family-functioning issue to consider." A few too many of these "issues" are phrased in sociological jargon. Case in point: "The inevitable mind-relationship linkage assures that moody habits by either marital partner risk both partners and their marital cohesion, while squelching family warmth...."

Ultimately the book is about enjoying relational freedom --- not a freedom that comes by running away from home but a freedom that comes from finding the best of your "home." One chapter, "Activate a Family Freedom Formula," wraps up with a clearly stated recipe: "Clarity. Integrity. Courage. Resolve. A bit of sensitivity. That blend of ingredients brought [family members] home again. Home to the other's heart, made safe. Home to the other's mind, made open. Home to chosen, not imposed, roles.

"You and your family can take the same journey --- home again."

--- Reviewed by Evelyn Bence

Seldom have I read a book which is so full of insights about the challenges each of us faces in life. Ms. Tauke beautifully blends empirical and first-hand evidence to support her thesis that most serious personal problems have multigeneralional histories. She also offers practical advice on how to overcome such problems. The book is very user-friendly. It should be read through, and then used as a reference.

How many times have you caught yourself doing something and thought: I'm just like my mother, I'm just like my father? This book explores the family habits that affect our lives - some for better, some for worse. It teaches us how to recognize "inherited" behaviour patterns and change the ones that sabotage our happiness. Written in a very accessible, easy style, this is a book one wants to give to family and friends. Beverly Hubble is onto something, and I'm guessing we'll hear more from her.

Sins of the Family enables us to identify the family patterns and players that have set up roadblocks to our success, and, perhaps more importantly, it helps us to identify the strategies and individuals who have inspired us to live fulfilling lives. Understanding the ways that our families have shaped our lives is an important subject for all who want to learn more about who they are and what `makes them tick'. This book is incredibly helpful in the pursuit of that understanding. Beverly Hubble Tauke's book gives us the tools to truly change our lives for the better.

A must read! A truly insightful book on understanding human nature and relationships. The author gives the reader a picture window view into the lives and hearts of individauls harmed by generational behavior. This is a must read for any counselor, therapist or individual who wants to help others heal or close their own wounds. It is an exhilarating and inspirational journey for the reader.

Beverly Hubble Tauke strikes at the heart of a flaw in many of our characters, the traits that our parents built into our lives. Coming from a childhood of abuse or neglect she puts into clear terms the effects that these have on our lives. Insightful and applicable to our lives. A must read.

Excellent. Thought-provoking. Agree with other positive comments already provided, especially those of Dawn B of Illinois. Worth reading again and again...

Bev Tauke tells great stories while she makes some great points. A fast and interesting read. All families can benefit from this, but families that have problems passed down from generation to generation will definitely benefit. Bev Tauke has first hand experience with the most powerful people in America and the least powerful. She ties them both together in one wonderful book.