Customer Reviews

Sissyphobia: Gay Men and Effeminate Behavior

5 star:		(3)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I have long been fascinated with the way in which gay men "buy into" straight thinking; to wit, that anything less than "masculine" is not to be desired. I mean, how many personal ads do you see where the guy is looking for a "fem" guy? Bergling has taken the whole discussion of preconceived gender roles and given it a personal face with the reporting of what real people think. I found the book very helpful in that regard and can only hope it stirs the thinking of those who think that anything "fem" is to be avoided at best and derided at worst. Read this book!
The only reason I didn't give it five stars is because I wanted more; it ended too soon.

this book may be a little on the short side but it is nicely written and above all you can identify with it, whether you are staight, gay, or bi. there is a little hidden wisdom in it for everybody if you just look hard enough with an open enough mind. i myself am not the most ruffneck, gymboi, denim and leather kinda guy, but the book opened my eyes to a harsh truth about the gay world. and i am not going to disclose that truth here cause then what would the point be of reading the book yourself. it portrays all the stereotypes of gay men with harsh honesty about "straight-acting" and "femmie boi" traits, with surprising compassion to both side of the spectrum.

It's pretty rare that I've read a book that I would call 'important'. This one is. He addresses a subject matter that I have debated endlessly with friends, family and partners and does so in a balanced and fascinating manner. The book is splendid and the topic fascinating. I'm grateful to him for writing a book and shedding some sensitive and impassioned light on a very explosive subject. You will be changed by having read it.

This is a truly important book. There have been mixed reviews for it so far, but I believe those who think it's not worth being written are clearly not reading it with an open mind. The topics of effeminate gay men and the preconcieved notions we all have about them to some degree are discussed in depth and points and arguments are brought up that most of us have never considered. This is an enlightening and relevant book for anyone concerned with feminism, gay and lesbian rights, or transgender rights.
Reading it gave me a better understanding of how all those groups are tied together and how we all fight the same enemy, and how we are quite often our own enemies in the political and social arenas by not supporting one another.

Exploration of the topic of fear and loathing of non-normative gender expression is greatly needed, and Tom Bergling's intriguingly titled "Sissyphobia" begins that discussion. (It was never clear to me what Joe Phillips's contribution was to the book's authorship, and as the book is written in first person, I can only assume it is Bergling speaking.) Halfway through reading this book, though, I checked the book jacket seeking this man's background. That explained the writing style for me.

Bergling's experience is in news broadcasting, and that is how this book reads: "So, John Doe, what is your view of this topic...?" summarizes the writing style of "Sissyphobia." Unfortunately the result is a jumble of opinions and views of dozens of gay men, rather than an serious, objective understanding of the issues involved. A few dozen other gay men would surely offer other opinions on the same topics, so the reader is left with Bergling's choices of opinions presented.

Bergling is careful to present differing, often times exceedingly prejudicial viewpoints, and he does not shy from controversy, however, the pattern, and patter, became tiring for me, and surely of limited insight. Any reader is likely to know that these prejudices exist. This reader sought insight into why they do...so did Bergling, as he asks the question many times. The author presents even lunatic fringe opinion, but he leaves the reader to figure out why the fray, and surely he offers no suggestions to address this phobia in our society. (May I suggest, to those who seek answers, far, far better address of these issues is explored in "Stigma and Sexual Orientation: Understanding Prejudice against Lesbians, Gay Men and Bisexuals [Psychological Perspectives on Lesbian & Gay Issues]" by Gregory M. Herek. Technical and often clinical, and rather costly as it is an academic text, this book does present the answers that Bergling seeks. He would have benefited much by reading it. )

To be sure, Bergling does not claim to have written a scholarly work, and cultural insight is of considerable value in beginning to understand prejudice toward effeminate men. Nevertheless, the admittedly loose, casual writing style is severely hampered by anything approaching a cultural study, and results in a rather disjointed meander of personal viewpoints, presenting subjective experience of a topic surely needing objective study.

Such is a far cry from cultural study, but does make for "evening news" interview format that some may find of interest.

The topic of this book wasn't one that I ever thought needed to be addressed so thoroughly. It's pretty basic, isn't it? Societally...culturally...it is drilled into us that the man is the caregiver, the provider, the strong rock, all traits we attribute to masculinity. Thus when a man is effeminate acting we, albeit often subconciously, assume he doesn't have these traits and dismiss him, fear him, or loathe him. The reason gay men have a dislike for the effeminate acting amongst them is because they have a form of internalized homophobia that allows them to buy into the stereotype of what it takes to be a "real man." And until the whole world gets past this negative stereotype, the gay community won't, either. It hardly needed a book to reveal it. Bergling, a self-proclaimed "straight-acting" and masculine man, writes a trite, poorly arranged piece of tripe that only verifies what I'd feared about the gay community: they'll soak up anything and praise it if it's all about them.