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Sister of Silence [Paperback]

Daleen Berry , Kenneth V. Lanning , Megan Hagebush
4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (151 customer reviews)

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Book Description

February 18, 2011
After a shotgun wedding, the author found herself barefoot and pregnant—and the mother of four babies by age twenty-one. Follow along on Daleen’s personal journey from coal miner’s wife to teen mom to award-winning journalist, determined to break the silence that shatters women and children's lives. A riveting true story, this memoir demonstrates the astonishing resilience of the human spirit. Kenneth V. Lanning, a retired FBI special supervisory agent who spent more than twenty years teaching about family violence at Quantico, Va., wrote the foreword for Sister of Silence. He says it's "ultimately a story of survival and hope." Dr. Jacquelyn Campbell, a Johns Hopkins University nursing professor and one of the country's leading family violence researchers, calls Sister of Silence "wonderful!" Campbell was the first professor to place the book on her syllabus. SOS is being taught at the University of Louisville; Dr. Jean Shimosaki, LCSW, MSW, a Bay Area therapist, is using it with her patients, as it provides “a step-by-step guide for healing.” SOS took first-place in the Appalachian category at the West Virginia Writers’ Competition, and was banned at Livermore High School in California and removed from library shelves as “Banned Book Week 2011” began. It has been featured at “Hope For the Future: Ending Domestic Violence In Families,” hosted by the AIA (UC Berkeley), on The Bob Edwards Show (Sirius XM Radio), and on In A Word, a literary show produced by TV30. The author is a California native who grew up in Preston and Berkeley counties in West Virginia, and went to work at The Preston County Journal. Among her many awards was one in 1990, when she won a first-place award for investigative journalism. In 1997, she worked for The Dominion Post, covering welfare reform. Among her awards are two second-place honors for her 2007 weekly columns in the Cumberland Times-News, one of which was born from SOS. Berry’s articles about Lashanda Armstrong, the mother who drove her van into the Hudson River in 2011, killing herself and three of her four children, appeared online at The Daily Beast. This is what a few people are saying about this book and this author: “Almost never is an interview subject so open or so candid about the most intimate details of the most horrible moments of her life. Daleen is a very brave women and I hope her story will help other girls and women . . . Daleen you are a magnificent storyteller.” —Bob Edwards (Author of Voice in the Box: My Life in Radio) “In Sister of Silence, author Daleen Berry gently guides us through the dark corridors of her life, so that we can emerge in the light, as she has courageously done, with a sense of hope, authenticity and courage. Sister of Silence is a brave book, written from the heart. It’s a must read for the brave-hearted.” —Asra Q. Nomani (Author of Standing Alone: An American Woman’s Struggle for the Soul of Islam) “Sister of Silence is authentic, compelling and necessary.” —Richard Currey (Author of Fatal Light) “For marketing purposes, nothing better can happen to a book than having it banned. A banned book is a sure sign that you’ve done something very right.” —Lee Maynard (Author of Crum) “A dramatic memoir told in a matter-of-fact, yet strikingly compelling, manner.” —Appalachian Heritage (Summer 2011 Issue)

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Editorial Reviews

Review

Daleen Berry thought she was happy--until Eddie. Berry doesn't present herself as a saint, nor Eddie as a complete monster. A former FBI agent sets the theme: Acquaintance or marital rape is still rape. Berry is an engaging writer, her style fluid, with welcome touches of humor and sustained tension throughout. A seldom-seen perspective. --Kirkus

Writing Sister of Silence could not have been easy for award-winning journalist Daleen Berry. Berry reveals her dark secret with clarity and frankness in hopes of saving others from making her mistakes. Berry's story is not an easy read, though her prose is strong and her memory acute. --ForeWord Clarion Review--5 Stars, by Barbara Bamberger Scott

From the Author

It took me twenty years to write this memoir, but it wasn't until 2007, when I interviewed Jeannette Walls (The Glass Castle) and she told me I was writing too objectively (like the reporter I am)--and that my writing didn't go deeply enough into the emotions I was feeling--that I really got to the heart of this story. 

The reason it took me twenty years to write is because for much of that time, I was a single parent and I was rearing my four children. I lost the computer files my early manuscript was saved on at least three times--forcing me to stop writing just so I could retype the manuscript from the paper copies I had saved. (A word to the wise: NEVER rely solely on electronic files. Always have a back up!) 
After I completed Sister of Silence, I still waited to publish it, because I wanted to ensure my children were well on their way to adulthood when that happened. And I wanted their blessing, any input about changing their names, and so on. Happily, they gave me all of that and more in 2006, when we convened a family meeting about "The Book." 
I didn't write this memoir as a sordid "tell-all." I wrote it instead to help people understand the dynamics involved in inappropriate and psychologically damaging adult-child sexual relationships. I also wanted to show how alcoholism and absent parents lead to "at-risk" children and domestic violence. Finally, I hoped other people will see how powerful these forces are--because I don't think society understands them even one-tenth of what it should, when it comes to the dynamics involved. 
But more than that, I wrote Sister of Silence to help parents understand they are doing their children no favors when they themselves are too squeamish to discuss sex. If anything, children today are as susceptible to the charms of a child molester as they ever were--because parents refuse to accept that these dangerous adults look and act just like we do. In fact, if anything, what is often said after someone is charged with harming a child sexually, is that "he was the nicest guy. I'd never have known he'd do anything like that." (Ironically, they say the same thing about men who beat their wives and children.) 
Most important, I hope I've taught you that not only can you escape abuse and survive terrible violence, but you can thrive after the fact, too!

Product Details

  • Paperback: 342 pages
  • Publisher: Nellie Bly Books (February 18, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 9780615388601
  • ISBN-13: 978-0615388601
  • ASIN: 0615388604
  • Product Dimensions: 8 x 5.2 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 11.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (151 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #449,732 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Daleen Berry (1963- ) was born in San Jose, California, but her parents kidnapped her and forced her to grow up instead in rural Preston County and in the suburbs of Washington, D.C. Since 1988 she has been an award-winning print journalist, columnist and editor who recently crossed over to write for online publications such as The Daily Beast, xoJane and Huffington Post. Sister of Silence, a memoir, is her first book. Berry is working on her second and third books, simultaneously. You can follow her blog here: daleenberry.com.

Customer Reviews

Once I read the first paragraph I was hooked and I couldn't put the book down. wyomingmomma  |  33 reviewers made a similar statement
I believe this book will help others who may be in or may have been in abusive relationships. fairmontfamily6  |  32 reviewers made a similar statement
Ms. Berry shares her story candidly and with great honesty. JPB  |  29 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
24 of 27 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the Best Books I Have Ever Read July 5, 2011
Format:Paperback
Even though I myself am an 18 year old young man, I have been exposed to abuse and found this book unable to put down until I read it all the way through. Read this book whatever your circumstances are; read it if you are a man, woman, older, younger, abused or not abused. This book definitely opens eyes to the deadly circle of abuse and the ways to fight against it.
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29 of 35 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars Amateurish September 2, 2012
By Kathy
Format:Kindle Edition
The saddest thing about this sad tale is that it's so poorly written that the reader--this reader anyway--comes away with very little sympathy for an author whose tone is self-righteous, preachy, and unfortunately vengeful. It is a confused, disjointed story lacking detail where it should be, and repetitious specificity where it has no purpose. And there's too much (repetitious) self-congratulation, especially and ironically in regard to what a "good writer" she is.
This barely proofed, unedited, and inconsistent narrative is rife with incorrect word usage, grammatical and punctuation errors, and a plethora of vagaries, contradictions, and textbook generalities. The five w's might be the reporter's creed, but lots of "showing" and much less "telling" is the hallmark of a decent writer. Despite what she says, I never get a sense of what is really going on in that household.
Domestic violence is passed down through generations, the author says. "I know I'm good because God doesn't make junk," she quotes. Praying and Bible study (all Old Testament references) are ever-present throughout the book. And yet--this author makes no attempt to forgive or show compassion toward Eddie, himself an obvious product of a culture of domestic violence. She dismisses him as--junk.
Ms. Berry has a good story but, despite the hype, entirely misses the mark in this slapdash, amateurish account of what might have been a poignant and compelling look at one case of domestic violence.
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23 of 28 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Understanding Silence May 8, 2011
Format:Paperback
When I started reading Sister of Silence I was worried that I would find it hard to connect with a situation that I've never encountered. Yet as I was drawn further in by Daleen's vivid and powerful words of courage, I realized that you do not have to be a victim of silence in order to understand it. Daleen's book holds a positive message of hope and encouragement for women of all ages and backgrounds.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
3.0 out of 5 stars Courage to break free
So sad how someone can control your life completely. It takes courage to break free and that doesn't happen over night.
Published 1 day ago by jangal
5.0 out of 5 stars Couldn't put it down
I couldn't put this book down, very well written and can't wait for the next book to come out.
I'm not nor never have been abused but know people that has been and have... Read more
Published 2 days ago by Sharon A. Warne
5.0 out of 5 stars My Thoughts
Must put this book up with one of the best I have read. Anyone having had any experience with abuse can for sure relate. Read more
Published 13 days ago by marmoo1954
5.0 out of 5 stars Empowering and Enlightening
I knew what I experienced in my own situation was hard to understand and understood to be acceptable. Read more
Published 13 days ago by Nat
1.0 out of 5 stars I kept trying to find some redeeming value here....
...but it didn't happen.

I rarely give up on a book nor do I post a lot of negative reviews. Read more
Published 15 days ago by funky_town
5.0 out of 5 stars A story that needs to be told!
Daleen's story kept me reading for two days. Happily, she managed to get out of her situation, but I was left wondering what happened to Eddie..... Read more
Published 1 month ago by gloneebs
5.0 out of 5 stars Well done
What a wonderful book. It is people like Daleen who have the courage to discuss things that are difficult, to help others feel like they aren't alone. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Readerjen
3.0 out of 5 stars Average Book
Living in West Virginia for a large part of my life I recognized and could understand much of what was going on. It moved a little slow with a lot of similar events. Read more
Published 1 month ago by Kendall R. Coleman
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book!
I would reccommend this book. Once you start reading it, you wont wanna put it down. Daleen Berry did an awesome job! Hope to maybe one day see a movie of it.
Published 1 month ago by Sarah Jordan
5.0 out of 5 stars A must read for all women (and men, too)
Excellent book on abuse. This certainly makes one aware what is and isn't abuse in all relationships. A true story, and very well written. Read more
Published 2 months ago by Ruth Bowden
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