Customer Reviews

The New Six-Point Plan for Raising Happy, Healthy Children

5 star:		(14)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

This is a new and longer version of Rosemond's original 6 point plan book. Rosemond is "old fashioned" in his pareting advice. He thinks good parenting is based on the use of common sense, and not learned from studying parenting theories and applying them to analyze your children. He thinks responsibility, resourcefulness and respect are the 3 most important things to instill in your children-and this book will tell you how to do that.

This book has a lot of Q & A, some of which will not apply to you. You can skim those parts and pick and choose to read the questions that are relevant for you. I would also HIGHLY recommend you read A Family of Value. That is the single BEST parenting book I have ever read. While I believe Rosemond's style of parenting is "out" right now, I think there are a lot more parents going back to basics and hopefully his ideas will hit the mainstream. Reading this book will make you no longer fit in with the "parenting is the hardest job in the world" crowd anymore. Instead, you will be in control and confident in your parenting.

I did dock a star and here is why:

1) It seems as if in Rosemond's world breastfeeding doesn't exist. In reality, it's becoming more popular and is a MAJOR part of the first year of life for many new parents. He needs to at least mention it in his discussions of kids in the bed and daycare, for example.

2) While Rosemond does say home care is ideal for children under 3, he still acts like daycare is no big deal for young children. He says to make sure there are no more than FIVE babies to ONE caregiver. Read that again....I can tell you there is no way ONE person can give even BASIC care to FIVE babies!! It is just not humanly possible.

3) He underestimates the impact of divorce. I am 31 and grew up to see about 50% of my friends' parents divorce. These were not bad parents. Some divorced on amiable terms. Most of these kids, including my best friend, suffered lasting damage from the divorce. Some still struggle with relationship issues today. Even if the divorce is best for everyone, it can and often does have a huge negative impact on children. It is no small issue.

All in all, excellent parenting advice. I would highly recommend anyone read this book, and read it when you are pregnant if possible. You will save yourself a lot of headaches.

I was thrilled with this book and agreed with 95% of his advice. John Rosemond removes guilt, babying, whininess, and overstimulation from the parenting equation. It freed me, as a pregnant woman, to parent in the way I instinctively would. His theories make complete sense and seem to align with a child's natural development (i.e. how can a 2 year old be reasoned with, or why should we ask a child to "please" do something, therefore giving him/her the option). There are WAY too many overly indulged children in America now - all parents, regardless of philosophy, should read this book.

After reading this book, I realized all the other parenting books are useless. It all comes down to what many parents are NOT giving their children: discipline and consequences for everything they do wrong. My houshold of 2 small children (and I have a baby also) changed dramatically in 2 weeks. My life is unbelievably better and I am in complete control of my kids 100% of the time, at home and in public. This book made me realize, since I had my head in the sand, that my 4 year old was going to grow up to be a brat. Now I'm confident I'm going to raise her to be an important and helpful part of society. I taught middle school for 6 years and realize how many parents need to read this one and only book. It's life changing. Many kids have such unstructured homes and they live with parents who don't know what great harm they're doing to their kids by coddling them, making sure their self-esteem is good, uplifting them, feeling sorry for them, and bailing them out when what they really need is consistent discipline and consequences.

While some of Mr. Rosemond's advice is hard for a Mom like me to swallow (kids don't need to routinely sleep in your bed-I'm guilty here), my 4-year old only-child ruled our household. I think Mr. Rosemond is absolutely correct on most all of his advice, especially about dragging kids to adult-centered activities. My daughter begged me to stop dance lessons and gymnastics, but I thought that it was "good" for her. I realize now that children need down time to be creative and resourceful. I also don't feel nearly as guilty when I tell her I can't sit in the floor and play with her. She needs to learn how to entertain herself!! Mr. Rosemond's advice is old-fashioned, but my daughter's behavior has completely turned around once we started implementing his suggestions.

We raised our 3 children using Dr. Rosemond's philosophies and it brought peace and calm to our home and enabled us to raised well-adjusted, successful kids. I bought this book as a gift for young parents b/c I think this man gives the best advice of all the guru's because it makes sense and it WORKS!!

As a mother about to embark upon the 2nd year of my child's life and wanting to avoid the cliched "terrible" aspect of it, I found Rosemond's book. I enjoy his column in our paper and found this book to be full of helpful advice. His sarcasm fits with my own sense of humor, and I don't believe in the path so many are taking in securing their child's self-esteem and happiness above the good of the family/your spouse, so this book was a good fit with my personal style. He really gave good, sound advice that will help me adapt my parenting with my child's development and behavior.

On another note to "A Reader" regarding day care facilities and his recommendation of the 1 to 5 ratio, I work in a licensed child care facility, and there is a state mandated ratio of 1 to 5. Child care facilities are not money-making ventures. In a perfect world it would be a 1:1 ratio, but that just can't happen. But, in most child care centers worth their stuff that one caregiver gives excellent care and attention to those 5 children. Yes, the best thing is for them to be cared for at home by a parent, but if that can't happen then we can find a wonderful child care provider who will take the best care of your child that they can. And as parents looking for child care facilities, we can heed his advice and make sure the minimum licensing requirements are met. Better yet, call your local licensing agency and find out what those are!

No single book is perfect and no single person's point of view should completely dictate the manner in which parents decide to raise their children. However, the overarching principles of this book provide one of the strongest frameworks for raising children I have ever read. The bottom line is that we are not a society at risk of neglecting our children, instead we are close to facing the catastrophic societal impacts resulting from raising a selfish generation with absolutely not concept of humilty.

Some of Rosemond's recommendations may sound harsh at first but are not nearly as neglectful as some people make them out to be. Rosemond advocates punishing children for misbehavior, an idea that is novel today but was once the norm. He does not seem to pretend that these punishments are not harmful, instead he advocates that a little harm (such as frustration, embarrassment, shame, etc.) in the short term is productive in that it motivates positive behavior in the future which will ultimately lead to less harm in the long run. Additionally negative experiences teach children to cope. How are adults who will inevitably face failure and frustration supposed to know how to deal with failure and frustration in a healthy manner if they have never experienced failure or frustration. Learning these skills young when the stakes are lower is certainly preferable. While this may run contrary to the feel-goodery parenting of today I think it rings true for most.

Most of the people who oppose Rosemond's work have seriously harmful misconceptions about parenting. As evidenced by some of the negative reviews of this book some parents feel as though they should be playmates and friends to their children. At face value this is a truly ridiculous concept. During college I met many people who's parents were so busy trying to be their friends that they forgot to be their parents. These children become young adults who lack basic self-sufficiency. I had friends who could not manage their money, pump gas, do their own laundry, or run a dishwasher. A roommate whose mother was obviously trying to be the cool mom dropped out of school and I also noticed that many of my friends whose parents spoiled them have a hard time having meaningful romantic relationships because of their self-centered outlook on the world.

I have extremely positive memories of my childhood and my parents were absolutely not my friends. In fact, I remember being too familiar with my father on a few occasions and quickly being advised that I may be able to talk with my friends in such a way but that he was not one of my friends. Frankly, that was okay. I didn't need or want him to be a friend, I wanted him to be a parent. Parents have been guilt tripped into believing they should spent copious amounts of time with their children but the reality is that this does not set them up to be well rounded adults. An average day of my childhood consisted of walking to the school bus stop without my parents, going to school, and playing outside with neighborhood kids. The time that I spent with my parents usually consisted of walking the dog as a family, eating dinner as a family, playing catch with my father when he came home from work, and running errands with my mother. There was nothing neglectful about this and I never had any doubts that my parents loved me and were there for me. They were there for me on a deeper more important level than just being a friend.

I would absolutely recommend this book not just to parents but to anyone interested in societal matters and has ever wondered why they are surrounded by entitled and bratty adults. You don't need to accepts everything Rosemond says hook, line, and sinker. But I say again, we are not a society at risk of neglecting our children, we are actually dangerously far down the other end of the spectrum and we need more people advocating that we be a little tougher on our children for their own good.

Sometimes parents are just not disciplined enough to discipline their children and we all need a plan to help us with that! It is very easy to spoil our children and the price children pay and parents suffer are ungrateful, self-centered and irresponsible behaviors. Child psychologist, John Rosemond, through his own trial-and-error child raising experiences has provided us with his NEW SIX-POINT PLAN FOR RAISING HAPPY, HEALTHY CHILDREN. He sets out to balance "my children come first" style with "the parent-centered family" mentality and restore children's respect for parents. Other equally sensible points include "putting marriage first, expecting children to obey, expecting and enabling children to contribute meaningfully to family and giving them everything they need along with a conservative amount of what they simply want (3)". The last two chapters deal with Toys and Television and the point is to keep it simple so kids can learn to entertain themselves with their own creativity.

If you don't read another parenting book, please at least read this one! Dr. Rosemond points are thoroughly explained, one per chapter, with each chapter ending with Q&A's that help you understand how you can apply the principles. This is also a good read for grandparents, relatives, friends, anyone who interacts with children.

This is definitely one of the best books I have read. I would the information contained within both as a babysitter and as a parent