Customer Reviews

Skeleton Man

5 star:		(1)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(12)

 

 

When you view a movie that was made for the SciFi Channel, you either get (1) a surprisingly good one; (2) an okay diversion; or (3) a real dud. SKELETON MAN falls into # 3. With a script seemingly thrown together piecemeal, surprisingly bad performance from the usually good Michael Rooker; a typical bad performance from Casper van Dien; and special effects out of a bad Japanese movie. The killer Skeleton Man comes up with weapons apparently out of thin air; the horse changes colors throughout the film; a fisherman is shot from behind with an arrow which is in the front of his chest; and nothing is ever really depicted as to exactly who his critter is and why the climax ends up in a chemical plant? An attempt to create a "Predator" like film falls completely on its face and Rooker should start looking for a new agent.

I love movies and watch at least two movies a week. This was one of the worst movies I've ever had the displeasure to watch. The characters were not believable, there was no plausible story or plot, the horse the Skeletor rode kept changing color (a brown horse to a black horse)as did his cape, (it went from new to tattered). Do not waste your time watching this movie, it made absolutely no sense.

Obviously Sponge Bob has become an agent to the semi-star, otherwise WHY on earth would any of these people, especially Casper van Dien, even appear in this disaster? I thought STAR SHIP TROOPERS rather ho-hum except for the great special effects. When I saw Casper's name I thought of that movie and I bought SKELETON MAN with the "how bad can it be?" mindset.

I hadn't realized it had been made for the SciFi Channel although that wouldn't have had any effect on the decision to buy except to expect a bit less in the special effects department.

We can now change the "a bit less" to darn near nonexistant. Someone told the writer/director to keep panning the scenery as a) it'll make the movie it's required length and b) it'll give the audience a sort of feel for the situation. Without the constant panning the movie is about a half hour long. The situation is boring. The is acting minimal, the script inane, and the special (snicker) effects are considerably less than awesome. The continuity mistakes are bothersome, the idiot mistakes are constant, and the things the script has the folks doing are silly. The entire movie makes me think of a couple of high school kids getting together to make a slasher movie. In fact, that feeling persists throughout the entire flick.

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed that when we have a group of people the women are all wearing a whole lot less than the men? The men in this one are wearing two or three shirts. The women are ALL wearing tanktops. I'm amazed, truly, that they aren't also wearing shorts (camoflaged, of course). And where the heck did all the guns come from? On that note, where the heck did all the Skeleton Man's weapons come from? Did he keep a stable of horses cuz they did seem to change a bit here and there. And why didn't the woman try to drive the SUV she found instead of running into a small building. GETTING AWAY FROM THERE would seem to be the bright thing to do. Well, silly me, the bright thing to do would have be NOT to appear in this movie and/or once it was made NOT to waste my money on it.

Give this one a big pass.

Having watched every movie in my collection worth watching at least 3 or 4 times, I decided to buy a new movie. Being a huge fan of horrors, that's always the section I start my new movie search. As I rounded the corner of my huge electronics super store (you know the name) and approached the "S" section, my eyes were drawn to "Skeleton Man". Everything about its packaging (excellent cover photo, 2 actors who I respect, description on the back) made me believe it would be of at least decent quality. The extremely low purchase price convinced me to make the purchase. Would I land a diamond in the rough?

To paraphrase Malcolm X, "I've been hoodwinked, bamboozled, lead astray, run amuck". This is one of the worst movies I've ever seen. EVER. I'm very forgiving of bad movies but this truly is unacceptable. By reading the other reviews here on Amazon, I learned that this was a Sci-Fi Channel sponsored movie. Fine. Made for TV movies are hit and miss just like their typically upscale theatrical run brethren so that's no excuse for this slop. Budgetary constraints are no excuse either. Some of the best horrors ever were made on a low budget.

First of all, the whole idea was a complete rip-off of another movie which I consider to be a classic. A vengeful spirit, clothed in a black cape riding around on a horse killing people mostly by chopping off their heads. Sound familiar? I won't even name that movie because to put the 2 in the same sentence would be an insult to the better of the 2. However, the man whose face appears on the cover of the DVD had a small role in that movie as well. Speaking of which, Casper Van Dien should know better. Watching the only "not so special feature" on this DVD lets you know that he did this movie because of his friendship with whoever had this idea. I'm sure it can be hard for an actor to know how a movie will look when complete. But had I acted in this movie and they showed me this as being the finished product, I would've given them an ultimatum. Don't ever release this junk, take my face off the cover and edit me out of the movie entirely or I'll end the friendship immediately. No amount of money is worth the loss of respect from his following.

I'm sort of a Michael Rooker fan and his performance was decent enough. The other four main actors (another male and 3 females) were terrible but I place no blame at their feet. The dialog given to each was insulting. The females were given fancy titles for their military positions but the actors themselves were treated in the same stereo-typical insulting manner. The males, except for maybe their forearms, were covered from head to toe. The females? Skin tight tank tops. These same military trained females were falling, screaming and making bad decisions as if they were in a horror movie from the 1970's.

Please pardon me as I'm usually not one to dispense with so much vitriol when reviewing a movie because it's only entertainment. But this movie truly offended me. It's going in the trash immediately after this review is posted. Suffice it to say, there was nothing done well in this movie. I could do better using only my camera phone.

Rating: Unless you're taking a college course titled "Bad Movie Making 101", don't waste your time.

I got this in The Horror Six-Pack from Echo Bridge Home Entertainment. This one is not the worst movie ever made, but it still sucks. In fact, this movie sucked so hard, I don't know how I'm gonna write this review, especially since 1. I popped it out of the DVD player because I couldn't even watch another second and 2. Hurricane friggin' Ike is coming and God knows how long 'til it take for me to get this review done.

The movie starts off with a scientist and his wife. The scientist recieves a valuble artifact and examines it when this supposedly Urban Legend known as the Skeleton Man kills him, and later on his wife. Then...

I'm sorry, but there's really not much else I can say about this POS except don't bother. I'm currently using the disc as a coaster, and if you see this, you might want to do the same. Casper Van Dien and Michael Rooker must have needed cash...BADLY!

PS. I'll pretty much be reviewing the movies in the boxset and might do a new review on Ghoulies IV.

A piece of crap, that's what it was. I can't believe even the scifi channel put out something this bad. Coming from me this is almost horrifying since I love scifi's B-rated bombers. I couldn't even laugh at this awful film because I couldn't even figure out what the hell was going on!

If I could give this movie a zero rating, I would. Do not buy this. It's worse than a student film. NOT recommended.

The skeleton man appears for no clear reason. Soldiers fire thousands and thousands of rounds at him with no effect (why do people keep firing in these stupid SciFi channel flicks when their bullets are obviously having no effect?).
Skeleton man brings down a helicopter (don't ask how, it's incredibly stupid.)
There is never a reason given for the appearance of Skeleton Man or a reason for anything he does. Never a reason given for the incredible stupidity of the soldiers trying to kill him. Never a reason given for the incredible stupidity of the people that made this terrible, terrible movie.
Don't buy it; don't watch it. Pounding nails into your hand for 2 hours would be less painful and more productive than watching this incredibly awful movie.

This movie was the worst movie and a complete waste of time to watch. Do not buy !!!! ( Buyer beware!!!!) .
There was not plot . The outfits , Skeleton Man, and music were very cheesy !! There was a lot of unnessary death and destruction !!
It was so stupid and meaningless that it will become part of the Hall of Fame of Movie Flops !!!

HE-MAN: Hey, I heard about your new movie, Skeletor Man!

SKELETOR: Actually it's Skeleton Man.

HE-MAN: Oh, okay. What's it about?

SKELETOR: I play a Native American Indian named Cottonmouth Joe who rises from the dead and goes on a killing spree.

HE-MAN: Seriously? You're the whitest guy I know.

SKELETOR: That's funny, I was going to say the same thing about you.

HE-MAN: Cottonmouth Joe sounds like some bad country rap act.

SKELETOR: Well you wouldn't be laughing if you were Delta Force. I killed all those guys, including the stupid archeologist and the hot chicks in tight tank tops who are underwater demolition specialists--

HE-MAN: Wait. This movie takes place underwater?

SKELETOR: No.

HE-MAN: So why did they send an underwater demolition specialist after you?

SKELETOR: I don't know man, I just ride a horse and shoot people with arrows when I'm not stabbing them with spears or chopping their heads off with my awesome medieval sword.

HE-MAN: There are so many things wrong with that sentence...I didn't know you could shoot a bow.

SKELETOR: I can't. But they put it in later with digital effects. Isn't CGI awesome?

HE-MAN: Yeah, awesome.

SKELETOR: Hey don't laugh! Casper Van Diem is in it...or at least he was until he walked off the set.

HE-MAN: What happened?

SKELETOR: I don't know, this truck driver pulled over for no reason, Casper hopped in to drive it, tried to run me over, I warped out (I can do that you know) and then we don't see him anymore.

HE-MAN: This movie was so bad that Casper Van Diem couldn't stick with it?

SKELETOR: Shut up. This movie is my best work yet. The awesome ending takes place between me and a Delta Force guy in a chemical plant.

HE-MAN: Oh that sounds cool. How do you die?

SKELETOR: I get electrocuted.

HE-MAN: In a chemical plant?

SKELETOR: Yeah. Hey! Where are you going? I'm auditioning for the part of a Nazgul in the sequel! Can you give me your agent's number?