The Skin We're In: Teaching Our Teens To Be Emotionally Strong, Socially Smart, and Spiritually Connected [Hardcover]

Janie Victoria Ward (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: September 6, 2000

Every black parent understands what psychologist and educator Janie Victoria Ward means when she says that the key to parenting black teens is to fortify them from within, by building strong minds and hearts and healthy bodies and spirits. In "The Skin We're In," Dr. Ward builds on this common wisdom to provide the definitive guide to the moral, emotional, and spiritual development of African American teenagers.

Shepherding children through the demanding years of adolescence can be a struggle for any parent. But black parents must also help their children confront the psychological fallout of racism at the same time they are helping them cope with the challenges at home, on the streets, and at school that are shared by all teens. Too often, black parents fail to draw on their proud history of social activism, heightened racial consciousness, and spiritual and folk wisdom traditions as a resource to help their children.

With this in mind, Dr. Ward offers readers a complete program, based on her unique four-step model -- Name it, Read it, Oppose it, Replace it -- that shows how to instill values and teach strategies for healthy resistance to negative social influences and complacency in children throughout the formative years.

Ward's topics include:

How to help boys deal with and control race-related emotions like anger, frustration, and fear by channeling creative and sexual energy into developing character, morals, and values.
How to help girls develop healthy identity by learning to appreciate their growing bodies for strength, flexibility, and grace, and not just for looks.
How to develop skills that allow boys and girls to act effectively in diversemilieus, including predominantly white or professional settings, while at the same time supporting black businesses and institutions.
What parents can do about the threat of complacency -- how not setting goals high enough or refusing to participate in "white" activities leads to low-level education, low-level jobs, and permanent low-income status.
How parents can help children resist the power of black peer pressure from those in their communities who believe there is only one way to be black.
Why it is essential to find and develop a spiritual community and connection. How faith, prayer, and spiritual music enable teens to cope with negative feelings and depression.

No one else has offered black parents such deep insights and honest prescriptions for teens that pull no punches -- at school, in the family, and in preparing them for the workplace and community life.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Psychologist Janie Ward has written an insightful and brave book about parenting African American teenagers. The Skin We're In addresses the gap between "black baby boomer parents" and their hip-hop children, offering sound strategies to help adolescents gain confidence about their racial identity and to recognize and resist racism. Ward's portrait of parenting in the post civil rights era is fair and unflinching. She suggests that the new racism ("being pulled over for driving black") demands a new approach. Resistance used to be in the street, but now it's in the mind, says Ward. As she explains, "The African American family can provide a safe and loving context--a home space--in which our adolescents can question the social inequities they see." Ward frames healthy resistance to racism in terms of four habits of mind (name it, read it, oppose it, replace it) that can be learned and practiced in the family circle. This model is illustrated with vivid, moving anecdotes and annotated parent-teen dialogues. Her approach urges parents to combine elements of the dominant culture and traditional black culture by drawing upon the rich legacies of social activism and spiritual and folk wisdom.

Ward also addresses challenges on the street and at school for teens including coping with sex, friendship, materialism and low expectations at school. Two compelling chapters focus on gender issues, for example, how to steer boys away from the "tough guy" or "player" stereotypes and how to guide girls to discover their unique beauty in our "light, long, and lean" culture. In Ward's view, race defines the parenting process for African American families. An illuminating guide to creating a confident and vibrant racial identity, The Skin We're In offers parents and educators counsel that is both streetwise and spiritual. --Barbara Mackoff

From Publishers Weekly

"How can we best help our youth to be strong, self-confidant and resilient? How can we fortify them to resist racism...?" In order to find practicable answers to these pressing questions, Ward, an education professor at Simmons College in Boston, interviewed dozens of African-American parents and children about their views on such topics as school, friends, racism, opportunity and money. She identifies many common obstacles that hinder youngsters from finding a positive personal identity. For example, she finds that baby boomer parents often have a difficult time providing their children with insights on their racial identity, since they may have learned to work successfully within a white system at their jobs, while their children spend time primarily with blacks. Other children are overcome by anger, feeling that they face a losing battle for educational and career opportunities. Chapter summaries by Ward include lists of "resistance strategies" and "helpful and liberating strategies" that parents can use. For example, a chapter on unhealthy spending patterns warns against "keeping up with the Jones" and "envying and resenting those who have more than you." Instead, she suggests that readers direct their efforts toward "developing family traditions that reinforce core values" and "teaching teenagers to value what they already have." This well-researched book should generate discussion among parents and educators, but it would have been even stronger had Ward developed her chapter summaries and offered a greater variety of approaches for parents to follow. (Sept.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 304 pages
• Publisher: Free Press (September 6, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0684859289
• ISBN-13: 978-0684859286
• Product Dimensions: 9.6 x 6.5 x 1.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (4 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,515,921 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Guidelines For Parenting African American Youth, March 9, 2002

By 

The RAWSISTAZ Reviewers (RAWSISTAZ.com and BlackBookReviews.net) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Skin We're In: Teaching Our Teens To Be Emotionally Strong, Socially Smart, and Spiritually Connected (Paperback)

The Skin We're In is the most compelling book I've read about race and raising children. The author, Janie Victoria Ward, Ed.D. has written her fourth book about raising emotionally strong, socially smart and spiritually connected African American youth. Ward spent years researching the moral and psychological development of African American boys and girls. Through her research she conducted a study of actual interviews and discussions with African American Youth and their parents. What she wanted to know was how did the tasks of parenting relate to the forces of racism. Her study and discussions is the basis for this book.

Beginning with the introduction we're given insight into Ward's comprehensive four-step program-Name It, Read It, Oppose It, Replace It, which are strategies used to promote healthy resistances to negative social influences that affect our African American children. In chapter four we're given detailed information about Ward's comprehensive four-step program. Each step is defined and followed by written scripts taken during her interviews and discussions with the youths and their parents.

Ward tackles some of the tough issues that confront our African American youth today such as dating, peer pressure and racism. What is interesting to note, is Ward's practical advice that she offers to parents on topics such as "Teaching our children to love themselves" and "Stressing racial pride". In no way does she sound preachy. She continuously stresses how important it is for parents to talk to their children about racial matters. One such way is to share your own stories of resistances with your children. This one point is like a beam of light that takes you through the entire book.

Ward brilliantly delivers her powerful comprehensive four-step resistance model with ease. Her message is clear and not written in a textbook style. Her writing is empowering from beginning to end.

I really enjoyed reading this book. It is a good resource book. What grabbed me was the resource guide in the back of the book. The guide features lists of books, websites and videos that empower black families. I highly recommend this book to all parents, grandparents and caregivers involved with raising African American children.

Reviewed by Dorothy Cooperwood

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Teaching Our Children, December 1, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: The Skin We're In: Teaching Our Teens To Be Emotionally Strong, Socially Smart, and Spiritually Connected (Hardcover)

Negotiating a racist social landscape is the prime stumbling block to the success of African-American young people. How do parents equip their children for this daunting task? Dr. Ward's book is a significant tool. It offers concrete strategies for parents and illuminates the struggle with engrossing interviews. Dr. Ward's book should be read by all but her model for resistance should be embraced by anyone affected by racism.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars A Call for Black Pride, September 25, 2001

By 

Bakari Chavanu - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Skin We're In: Teaching Our Teens To Be Emotionally Strong, Socially Smart, and Spiritually Connected (Hardcover)

Like Beverely Tatutum's "Why Are All the Black Kinds Sitting Together in the Cafteria?", Ms. Ward's work is a much needed call for Black cultural identity develoopment on the part of children of African descent. For too many Black children and teens in this country are experiencing an identity crisis--whereby hip-hop identity is associated with gangsterism and being smart is equated with being White. Ward's work calls for Black culture to be used as tool for Black achievement and identity. The only missing part of this book is practical suggestions or strategies that parents could use to help their children develop Black cultural consciousness. A sort of resource book or workbook would be useful companion to her work.