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Skirts At War: Beyond Divorced Mom/Stepmom Conflict [Kindle Edition]

Jennifer Newcomb Marine , Jenna Korf , Mario Korf
4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (14 customer reviews)

Kindle Price: $9.99

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Book Description

Many divorced moms and stepmoms feel doomed to a lifetime of power struggles when the other household is indifferent or openly hostile. Skirts at War is a reassuring and playful hands-on guide to thriving as a stepparent, remarried mom or single parent, even if the other side won't meet you halfway. Learn how to master the most common challenges vexing divorce-connected families today:

Instincts - why they're working against you and what to do instead
Support - how to sidestep well-meaning, but sabotaging advice and tune into truth-telling wisdom
Men - how fathers see our interconnected roles, in the words of a man in the middle himself
Expectations - why your “reasonable” assumptions set you up for disappointment and resentment
Self-Worth - why old issues from your past are easily triggered and how to desensitize them
Boundaries - how to transfer responsibilities to the right shoulders and stop overdoing

Divided into three user-friendly sections for quick reference: Problems, Power Tools and Making Progress, it also includes:
* over 100 comments from community members, eager to share their hard-won insights
* 20 interactive quizzes, assessments and how-tos
* 60 journal questions designed to easily move you forward
* over 100 affirming mantras to ground and center you
* a chapter by Mario Korf written directly to divorced fathers
* how to join our online community for free PDFs and exclusive material, connect with new friends reading the book and create your own private blog or journal


"Through personal accountability, Skirts at War shows parents and stepparents how to restore a sense of belonging and significance to their children and stepchildren. A hopeful, upbeat guide. Highly recommended!"
- Amy McCready, The Today Show parenting contributor, author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time..., Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, Inc.

"I wish this book had been around 14 years ago when I first met my stepchildren-to-be and their mother. Just like no one can prepare you for the birth of your first child, there is no way to prepare for the acquisition of a family in progress (or what I like to call, Love and Landmines). Skirts at War puts you at ease and quiets the guilty mommy mind by assuring the reader: what you are about to undertake goes against natural law—so really, you're already a superhero just by virtue of opening your heart to these relationships. What a beautifully strong and positive place to begin what may be the most challenging and gratifying part of your journey."
- Gina Torres, actress, mom and stepmom

This must-read book contains the wisdom of both the authors and a thriving community of moms and stepmoms.
- Peggy Nolan, Owner & Founder, The Stepmom’s Toolbox


Editorial Reviews

Review

"A must read for helping both moms and stepmoms find peace within, even when the other woman won't put down her sword."
Brenda Ockun, Publisher of StepMom Magazine

"Through personal accountability, Skirts at War shows parents and stepparents how to restore a sense of belonging and significance to their children and stepchildren. A hopeful, upbeat guide. Highly recommended!"
Amy McCreadyThe Today Show parenting contributor, author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time..., Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions, Inc.

"I wish this book had been around 14 years ago when I first met my stepchildren-to-be and their mother. Just like no one can prepare you for the birth of your first child, there is no way to prepare for the acquisition of a family in progress (or what I like to call, Love and Landmines).

Skirts at War puts you at ease and quiets the guilty mommy mind by assuring the reader: what you are about to undertake goes against natural law--so really, you're already a superhero just by virtue of opening your heart to these relationships. What a beautifully strong and positive place to begin what may be the most challenging and gratifying part of your journey."
- Gina Torres, actress, mom and stepmom

"This must-read book contains the wisdom of both the authors and a thriving community of moms and stepmoms."
Peggy Nolan, Owner & Founder, The Stepmom's Toolbox

"Skirts at War is an exciting new addition to the stepfamily field. It provides stepfamily members with the necessary tools to lead happy, healthy lives, regardless of their particular challenges. Every stepfamily should have a copy of this book."
-Rachelle Katz, Ed.D., psychotherapist and author of The Happy Stepmother: Stay Sane, Empower Yourself, Thrive in Your New Family

About the Author

Jennifer Newcomb Marine is the co-author of "No One's the Bitch: A Ten-Step Plan for Mothers and Stepmothers" (GPP Life, 2009), which was co-written with Carol Marine, the stepmom to her children (and her ex-husband's wife). She represents the divorced mom voice on the NOTB blog, writes for The Huffington Post and is also a public speaker.

Jennifer's been featured on The Dr. Phil Show, The Washington Post, Canada's Globe and Mail, Publisher's Weekly, Library Journal, The Huffington Post, Psychology Today and numerous radio shows and interviews. She's the mother of two daughters and is the honorary aunt to her children's stepbrother. She's also an avid traveler, rock climber and rower.

Jenna Korf is a certified Stepfamily Foundation coach and works with stepmoms and couples to help them overcome their stepfamily challenges. She writes a monthly feature in StepMom Magazine called "The Ex Factor," is a blogger for The Huffington Post and No One's the Bitch and has been featured on CNN.com as a stepfamily expert. 

Jenna lives in upstate New York with her husband, two teenage stepsons and an adorable pup named Astro. For more information on working with Jenna, visit her at StepmomHelp.com. 

Product Details

  • File Size: 1745 KB
  • Print Length: 236 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1491268964
  • Publisher: Nest Press (October 1, 2013)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B00FKKY3RQ
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #184,375 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Constructive help I am grateful to have found June 16, 2014
By Che
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
Great companion in high conflict situation with my husband's ex-wife. I didn't realize that becoming a stepmother would entail having to deal with stress of the situation I was in. This book really opened my eyes to both sides of the situation and made it easier to understand her reactions. It taught me to set boundaries that enable me prioritize taking care of myself and challenged unhealthy thoughts that were exacerbating the situation. I haven't been able to find many other resources that have aided me in this. There are plenty about relating with your stepchildren an other facets of blended family but not so much the other party of the divorce. Then there are many resources that make you feel more like a victim with complaining and everything that keeps you from moving forward. If you are at all feeling helpless like I was, I highly recommed going through this workbook. You will learn to take back control of your own emotions and thus, regain control of your own life.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
This book will help newer step-moms/natural moms "arm" themselves with knowledge on what to be prepared for in their futures as well as help rejuvenate good priorities with step-moms/natural moms who have been "around the block" a few times and need a reminder of how to keep perspective.

I liked the quotes at the end of the chapters from experienced step-moms and natural moms.

An important message from the "No One's The Bitch" movement is that one can only control/change HERSELF and not the stepmom or the mom. That is extremely empowering, once one gets past the helplessness some may feel.

I didn't enjoy some of the repetitiousness of the book.

A very good effort and a continuation of a dialogue that is sorely needed, in my opinion.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
The ladies (uhum - Mario too!) have struck again with the highly helpful, realistic and honest book, "Skirts at War." If you feel you are alone in your sometimes difficult and chaotic blended family life and failed attempts at co-parenting with the other family is not an option, read the book.

Thanks to the authors, my husband and I have both continued to reference similar situations in the book and feel more comfortable than ever with our relationship with the kids, while having a business only relationship with the other side. A must read if things are great and even if they aren't, the information contained is helpful regardless of the situation.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars My saving grace... October 15, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Skirts at War (and NOTB) helped me in ways that are immeasurable. Even when the "other woman" wasn't open or receptive to me, these books helped me be patient, loving, open, and honest with myself. I was absolutely thrilled to come upon them. Skirts at War is unbelievably heartfelt and real. It helped my journey and brought me a lot of peace. The best part about all of this is, NOW the other woman in my life is reading it too! I cannot recommend this book highly enough for both divorced moms and step-moms alike! (I am both!)
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Must Read for Mom/Stepmoms ! April 30, 2014
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
I highly recommend this book if you are in a blended family or mom/stepmom role. This book shares what stepmom/moms go through and how each feel. It is heartfelt book that is written as a hands-on guide to thriving as a stepparent, remarried mom or single parent, even if the other side won't meet you halfway. It gives you the tools that you need to be a stepmom/mom in high conflict role. I share this book in my stepmom support group -Buckeye Bonusmom. Will continue to share and recommend this book!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Must-read! April 22, 2014
Format:Paperback
For women struggling with a high-conflict counterpart, this is absolutely a must-read. Jennifer and Jenna write from their own experiences, share research and have included authentic quotes from real women going through this situation themselves. This book will give you many tools, and more importantly, will help you to move past the conflict and find peace. I highly recommend this book!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Needed This Right Now October 3, 2013
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
Jennifer Newcomb Marine and Jenna Korf really nailed it with this book. This was just what I needed right now in my stepmother journey. These ladies have helped me online as well. They aren't new at this and they have found their place through trial and error which is so relieving to hear and read. These two ladies are smart cookies and I am glad to have found them and this book!
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