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The Slacker's Guide to U.S. History: The Bare Minimum on Discovering America, the Boston Tea Party, the California Gold Rush, and Lots of Other Stuff Dead White Guys Did
 
 
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The Slacker's Guide to U.S. History: The Bare Minimum on Discovering America, the Boston Tea Party, the California Gold Rush, and Lots of Other Stuff Dead White Guys Did [Paperback]

Don Stewart (Author), John Pfeiffer (Author)
2.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)

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Book Description

October 18, 2009
What does Miley Cyrus have in common with Sacagawea? How could Steve Jobs have helped Eisenhower? What does the moon landing have to do with the Hilton sisters?

In less time than it takes to recite the preamble to the Constitution, most Americans can spout off all their U.S. history knowledge. (Hint: it starts with ?In 1492? and ends with ?sailed the ocean blue.?) That?s because most history books are as interesting as the phone book?and have the same number of pages. The average Joe (the guy who TiVo?d John Adams on HBO but won?t make Colonial Williamsburg his next vacation spot) needs a witty and edgy history book?and he has it, with with this guide. Hysterical authors?and self-described slackers?Don Stewart and John Pfeifer give readers the bare minimum on important events such as:

  • The Civil War (the war that pitted brother vs. brother?about the bruthas)
  • The expedition of Lewis and Clark (the ultimate road trip)
  • The Boston Tea Party (not much of a party unless that tea was from Long Island)
  • The assassination of JFK (one vacation that ended particularly badly)
Combining current pop culture references and accessible historical information, this satirical book catches readers up on what they slept through in History 101.


Editorial Reviews

About the Author

John Pfeiffer (Atlanta, GA) is married with three daughters. He received his BBA from Stetson University in Florida (a difficult task when your roommate is Don Stewart), and his MBA from Georgia State University. He works as a financial advisor and when not being a slacker, his hobbies include poker and tennis.

Don Stewart (Orlando, FL) is a graduate of cowboy hat maker John B. Stetson?s University, where he learned to put up with his college roommate, John Pfeiffer. Growing up with a passion for history and humor, he is now a successful entrepreneur with an extensive background in sales and marketing.


Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Adams Media; Original edition (October 18, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1605503460
  • ISBN-13: 978-1605503462
  • Product Dimensions: 7.3 x 5.6 x 0.7 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 2.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,472,788 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

27 Reviews
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Average Customer Review
2.4 out of 5 stars (27 customer reviews)
 
 
 
 
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89 of 97 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Offensiveness would be tolerable if the book was funny or accurate..., May 23, 2011
This review is from: The Slacker's Guide to U.S. History: The Bare Minimum on Discovering America, the Boston Tea Party, the California Gold Rush, and Lots of Other Stuff Dead White Guys Did (Paperback)
Let me start this out by saying that I enjoy edgy, raunchy, sarcastic humor, such as that found on the Daily Show or the Simpsons. So unlike some of the other reviewers, it's not the mere presence of racially related or sexual humor that offends me. Such remarks do become offensive when they are not actually humorous, have no real connection to the issue at hand, or merely repeat tired old stereotypes.

For example, in regards to racial humor, the authors write of John White, the governor of the Lost Colony of Roanoke: "Long before poor and desperate Mexican parents began smuggling their pregnant daughters into the United States in an attempt to secure American citizenship for all of their underachieving family members, John White, an English-born artist, was writing the "illegal alien to full citizen in three easy steps!" playbook." While the connection between modern day immigrants and the early settlers is certainly there and ripe for satire (neither being "real Americans" so to speak), this particular joke doesn't even make any sense. There was no equivalent of modern immigration law during colonial times - i.e., White's ability to govern the new colony, or even move there, had nothing to do with his daughter giving birth on American soil. (If there is some hidden connection, the authors certainly don't explain it.) A successful example of racial satire is the Chapter on the Mexican War, in which the authors paint Americans in the then Mexican controlled territory of Texas as the unwanted invaders using the same type of language that current day Americans often use to describe Mexican immigrants today. Unfortunately, most of the use of racial humor I read is of the former category, not the latter.

The sexual humor also misses the mark. Of Patrick Henry's family, the authors write: "The Henrys were a demanding family. It was in their blood. John Henry demanded sex on a regular basis and his wife was happy to accommodate. The byproduct of their frequent encounters was eleven children, including the favored Patrick Henry." Huh? Why would the authors randomly make such a joke? It was the late 1700s - there was nothing unusual about having such a large family.

The humor is also stunningly unoriginal. There were dozens of jokes about Mexicans trying to sneak into the U.S., the French being effeminate and cowardly, and the British being pasty and having poor teeth. Writing about the outcome of the Revolutionary War, the authors say: "Recently, it has been speculated that the British have sought revenge against the United States with attempts to make us watch Hugh Grant movies and soccer games. However, quick-thinking Americans have struck back by stealing many generations of English chefs and dentists, causing an epidemic in England of poor teeth and horrible food." There's nothing wrong with putting a new twist on these jokes and using them once in awhile (see "The Big Book of British Smiles" in the Simpsons episode where Lisa gets braces), but merely repeating over and over that the French are gay and cowardly isn't merely just unfunny, it's outright lazy.

However, all of this could be forgiven if the book was factually accurate or served as a good review of American history. It is neither.

In regards to factual accuracy, for example, about Christopher Columbus the authors write: "Columbus dreamed of proving to those still in doubt that the world was in fact round by sailing confidently due west to reach the Spice Lands recognized as valuable trading outposts for European monarchs." What? Columbus was interested in a faster route to the Spice Lands to increase profits and later, after realizing he had reached new lands, he was interested in plundering and spreading religion. Most educated people at the time already knew the world was round.

In addition, sometimes the style made it difficult to parse out the truth from the jokes unless you already have a good working knowledge of American history, basically defeating the purpose of the book. For example, the authors joke of Ann Putnam, one of the chief accusers in the Salem Witch Trials: "Years later, Ann came clean and told TMZ.com that many of her accusations were false." Clearly the part about TMZ is a joke, but is it true that she later said her accusations were false? Conceivably that could be true or not true, and it's not clear from the text whether it is or not. You would only know from your previous knowledge or consulting another source, in which case, how helpful can this book be?

You'll notice I haven't included any examples from beyond the Civil War. That's because I couldn't make it through the book that far. If you need to review your history, you would be far better off with a "boring" textbook, free of factual inaccuracies and wince-inducing jokes.
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41 of 46 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Unfunny - wish I could give it negative stars :(, October 25, 2009
By 
This review is from: The Slacker's Guide to U.S. History: The Bare Minimum on Discovering America, the Boston Tea Party, the California Gold Rush, and Lots of Other Stuff Dead White Guys Did (Paperback)
First off, thank goodness I got this book from the library and didn't spend good money on buying it. I love history and I love funny stuff, so this should have been right up my alley. Unfortunately, it is not funny, and the history is so off that parody fails.

The authors think that my just putting in tasteless comments about sex, sex, sex, and sex, something becomes funny and/or witty. Try this: "Paul Revere was a half-French colonist who at the time of his midnight run need to get laid." No, not funny. Try again. "Martin Luther King Jr. may have been a black man, but he shared the same sexual fantasies as most of his Caucasian male counterparts." You get the idea.

Just avoid this book and your life will be a lot happier and more fun.
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32 of 40 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Not just painfully unfunny but racist, January 7, 2010
By 
Tracey A. Bisbort "Hugh Manatee" (in Bill O'Reilly's back yard) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   
This review is from: The Slacker's Guide to U.S. History: The Bare Minimum on Discovering America, the Boston Tea Party, the California Gold Rush, and Lots of Other Stuff Dead White Guys Did (Paperback)
I realize this "book" is intended as humor. On that score, it fails miserably. But, worse, the publisher should be held responsible for such racist idiocy as these authors' comment about Rosa Parks as "Rosa Parks knew the wages paid to her as a black woman would never afford her the opportunity to drive the car of her dreams, a converted Crown Victoria cop car pimped out with twenty-two-inch rims and aftermarket hydraulics." Martin Luther King's 1963 march on DC is called "A Black Man's Wet Dream." And about Malcolm X, we get this: "he was famously told by his 'white is better' educator that his goal of becoming a lawyer was 'no realistic goal for a n....' (I refuse to type that word, though the author's use it). "Malcolm quickly embraced the wise advice he received and lost interest in school."

They even make a joke out of slavery being a "good investment."

This is disgusting, beneath contempt and a thinly veiled attempt to pass off racist White Supremacy as "humor". Adams Media should be ashamed.
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