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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
What Massacre??,
By S.M. "horror buff" (Louisiana) - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Slaughterhouse Massacre (DVD)
I won't go into the details of this movie because the Editorial Review Product Discription sums this movie up in a nutshell. As a horror movie fan, when I saw Slaughterhouse and Massacre in the title, I just had to rent this film. Disappointing. You are lead to believe that a really good horror movie awaits you but not so. Another letdown.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Only the price tag is scary,
By
This review is from: The Slaughterhouse Massacre (DVD)
So Lion's Gate slaps a list price of $29 on this? Amazing the juevos people have these days. Considering what a horror this movie is, that absolutely amazes me. We have the usual stoned and drunk teenagers, oversexed and under-brained, and out for a good time. So of course they go to see where Mr. Sickle the slaughterhouse worker was killed 10 years ago & he comes back to wreak havoc like a recycled Freddy Krueger or something. We have a long long scene where two chicks feel each other up while partygoers stand and watch, whee. Is it a rule to put bi/lesbian scenes in stupid horror movies these days? One would think so. Anyway back to the marginally more interesting part: some dude called Stoner is enlisted to show up at the slaughterhouse & dress like the killer to scare the chicks, he gets mad (or stoned, hard to tell) and decides not to do it. During the course of the movie he smokes enough weed to immobilize a small country but still remains conscious, or at least what passes for concious in this movie. The viewer may have problems remaining conscious though. One almost decent effect has one hapless idiot "split" but I saw that already in Ichi the Killer & it was done much better & is a movie more worthy of your attention. Let's not forget the one chick that's sort of the "heroine" of the movie, she of the strident personality that also announces to her boyfriend that she's pregnant, so of course he shoves her head first out a tiny window to go for help. But help isn't coming, not for the teens nor for the viewer. A truly pathetic piece of garbage and I guess I "took one for the team" on this. Bleah.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars
Bad bad bad bad bad.,
This review is from: The Slaughterhouse Massacre (DVD)
This doesn't even deserve 1 star.There is no good reason for this movie to exist. The title is deceptive - it actually sounded decent, and well, gory. At no time in this movie was there a massacre. There was a bad guy, supposedly dead, who looked kinda like Brad Dourif with rubber teeth and rosacea (which, I believe, was supposed to be thermal burns). He kills a few people. Well, we see a meat hook, and a machete. We don't see them actually strike or spear anyone, we just see a few drops of theatre blood after the fact. Oh, and we know the killer is near, because all of a sudden someone plugs in a red light. And plays a thump-thump thump-thump soundtrack. The Slaughterhouse Massacre must be horrorporn for HBO. At any given moment there are leggy blondes (and redheads, and brunettes) naked and writhing around, simulating sex, and engaging in lesbian kissing scenes. But if that sounds like an endorsement, it isn't. If I rented this to get off to, I would be very disappointed. I have all the usual B movie complaints - corny dialogue, pathetic acting, crappy effects and shoddy cinematography... it's all there. The movie has no redeeming value even as a B movie. If Uwe Boll had to work with a smaller budget, this is what you would get.
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