Customer Reviews

Slaves of the Realm

5 star:		(0)
4 star:		(0)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

Okay, where to begin. I admit I rented this mess with the sole purpose of goofing on it and laughing, which I did. However my occasional chuckles at this junk were too few and far between because a ponderous storyline and footage recycling. For those who don't know what footage recycling, that's when a movie shows you the same clip over and over again. It can be 4 or 5 seconds and even high-budget films do it for various reasons. This film did it no less than 6 times, and each time was atleast a 30 second clip. The protganist, Rena Mero aka Shira aka Sable from WWE aka JUGS spends most of the movie using her skills from the "i am reading my lines" school of acting and her ahem... "assets". She is quickly overshadowed by the slave girls in "the mine", which all wear simple semi-transparent togas to haul around plastic rocks in wicker baskets. The final scar your mind will receive from this expectoration of gas, will be from Daniela Khrut, whose impossible "accent" had my fellow compatriots doing boris & natasha jokes. (awful isn't the word).
If you like pointless nudity, ponderous execution of a plot, bad accents, and a "ren-faire/nerd-circus gone wild" kind of crap movie this is definitely the waste of time you've been waiting for.

Man, I love good B-movies.

I said "good" B-movies.

This is among some of the worst attempts at a T&A fantasy I've ever seen. The plot, at its most basic is this: The Old King is dead, and the high priestess will assist the new king in choosing a new queen from among eight virgin (yeah right) princesses. Of course, for the other seven girls who don't get picked, they get a nice consolation price, they get to make up the queen's court. Yeah, I'm sure that gesture would bring peace to the land.

Well, the eight princesses get kidnapped and are forced to work in the evil queen's silver mines. We get to see a lot of the ladies in distress, hauling rocks and getting their filmsy togas all sweaty, because that scene is repeatedly played. (I guess it was a brillant play by the director to show how tedious slave labor is, or an attempt to lengthen the film by recycling footage.)

I couldn't finish watching this because it got so boring, even with the eye candy of Rena Mero, whose acting talent, well, it doesn't exist. Sorry, but only the most dedicated teenage Sable fanboy would love this flick.

When i found out that Rena Mero was actually doing something after she left the WWE I was surprised as hell! So with that in mind I purchased this film. I have to honestly say, it was not a total waste of money, it was a partial waste of money! This movie to me, made no sense, showed nothing but naked chics playing in the dirt, and some chic raping a heavily sedated king (can you do that?)so she could be queen or something! I have to say that the biggest issue here was the lack of violence! I was hoping for at least one Sablebomb or a couple brawls, but there wasn't! If you are looking for some good Sable action check out WrestleMania XX or the Great American Bash!

Anyone who buys this film and then wants to be a critic should just stop. I did not buy this expecting a great storyline or super acting or unrepetitive filming. Nobody else does either. This is a movie to watch when you don't have anything better to do. If you want to see scantily clad women on film then buy it, but don't be a critic either.

I could find no redeeming qualities in this movie. The story is directionless and flat out boring.
The general acting is bland and neither noticeable as extremely good or bad.
The sets are poor. They look like stages and add nothing to the atmosphere.
Not even a diehard T&A film connoisseur could enjoy the repetitive flashes of skin in this film. None of those are of note, and none are Rena Mero, which I assume would be who anyone watching the film was looking for.
A good movie allows you to suspend disbelief, this one does not. Unless you disbelieve a teen age boy with a digital camera could not have made a better film.