Customer Reviews

Slut!: Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation

5 star:		(18)
4 star:		(5)
3 star:		(3)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(3)

 

 

I enjoyed reading Slut when a preview copy found its way into the office where I worked at the time. The personal stories were very touching and I feel that this is a topic - the labeling of women or girls who do not fit within traditional roles - definitely needs more exploration. But my main problem with the book was that the author, while admitting that the sample from which she worked was far from random, still extrapolates from it, making claims such as girls who were designated sluts seem to become more successful or driven or whatever. What about those she interviewed who didn't fit that mold? It left me wondering if she chose the stories that she did because they fit within her hypothesis. I was disappointed that, despite her own claim of subjectivity, she made conclusions that she extended to a larger group.

On the flip side, it's an interesting book to read, to learn of the personal experiences of girls who've been tormented by the label and how they have overcome it or moved on. If the author could have refrained from her generalizations, I think the stories would have been powerful enough to stand on their own.

I have recommended this book to everyone I know, and I hope that I will be able to pass it onto my daughters. Or rather, I hope my daughters will not be in a society that encourages the sexual double standard and punishes young women for natural feelings.

The book is non-fiction, and the author interviewed many women and girls about their experiences. Some of the book is quite academic, quoting from various studies and going over the history of this kind of behaviour. Other parts are retellings of people's experiences, and analyses of those.

Reading this book brought back many memories and emotions. I realized that my experience as a teenager was not unique. I had already done my own thinking, but it was great to read that someone else had come to the same conclusions. That there still is a sexual double standard, despite the sexual revolution, and that women are punished by both men and women for having sexual urges.

One redeeming factor was that she definitely doesn't place all the blame for the harassment on teenage boys. She talks a lot about competitiveness between girls and how the girls are usually worse to each other. Kinda like the person who seems most homophobic is the gay one? Yeah, like that. And also about how often the adults don't report it, or stop it, or ignore complaints because they see it as correct behaviour that keeps girls in line even as it is damaging their self-esteem forever.

It's amazing, the more people I talk to about it, the more people bring up their own experiences. Everyone knows someone who experienced the phenomena, or they went through it themselves. Even so-called "good girls" will be able to relate to the book in that the ways in which they constrained themselves.

It's about time someone wrote a book about this.

This book brought back some painful and unpretty memories. It felt good to see that I wasn't as alone as I thought. For guys, this book could help to bridge the gender gap in so many ways. I think that it could do so much helping and healing if every person had to read this book.

Social work professionals working with adolescents will most likely find themselves facilitating discussion, designing a program, teaching a class, or providing counseling around the issues of teen sexuality. Adolescent attitudes about sex, sexual practices and perceived sexual practices; peer conflict and conformity practices; and teen alienation of "outsiders" are topics which social workers must be knowledgeable of, and, more importantly, able to discuss with teens: freely, objectively, and without prejudice.

One's own prejudices are called into question immediately upon picking up Slut! Growing Up Female with a Bad Reputation, by Leora Tanenbaum (2000). The title, as "in your face" as
graffiti on a bathroom wall, is perfect: to be considered a "slut," with all its negative sexual connotations, generally has little to do with actual sexual practices, and everything to do with sexual stereotyping and gender roles. "Slut" is a term that has absolute power only for girls, never for boys
-- it's used not only to condemn and restrict the sexual girl, but to structure the social realm of girls' adolescence and create insider and outsider status. Additionally, "ho," "slut," "freak," "skeeze," and all the other terms used to put down girls by other females and teenage boys serve to reinforce the paradox of teenage sexuality: sex is everywhere, everyone is doing it, you should be doing it, did you
do it? Why did you do that!!?? Or: if all the girls around you are "nice girls", and only a couple of "sluts," then who are all these boys having sex with?

The fear of being branded a sexual female is directly related to the dueling religious and historical concepts of woman as either pure, good, virginal, and eternally unspoiled (Mary; Princess
Kitty; Melanie Wilkes), or earthy, evil, scandalous and sexual (Eve; Anna Karenina; Scarlett O'Hara). Tanenbaum summarizes the history of female sexuality, culminating in a discussion of the
impact of the feminist movement of the 1960's and 70's on female sexuality, and the subsequent retreat and backlash from that movement.

The ongoing split of female sexuality into one of the two categories, with the attendant moral associations, continues, with ever more disparate images thrust at young women from movies, television, and magazines. Even this book, with its brightly colored cover shouting "Slut!" provoked a number of eyebrow raisings and pointed questions: I can't say I would have been reading this book in public 11 years ago as a high school senior, for fear of association. It is just that fear of association which is then used as a method of controlling female sexuality -- and girls' behavior in general -- is one of the major causes of slut-bashing, as noted by the author.

Within the realm of girls, "slut-bashing" is a form of control. Again, "sluttiness" is rarely about actual sexual behavior; generally it's related to a girl breaking the mores of her peer group, whether inadvertently or intentionally, and her subsequent punishment: it's the present day equivalent of the scarlet letter. Tanenbaum notes that there is no single definable behavior which leads to being branded a "slut;" the ambiguous nature of the placement of the "slut" label serves its purpose. It's an umbrella term to punish, stifle, and isolate certain girls.

Since this book's publication, several other books have been published noting the pressure of sexual stereotyping and gender roles on girls' behavior toward other girls. The example of the
outsider being punished as a "slut" is one of three (the others are the sexual girl and the girl who is raped); however, Tanenbaum's use of the "outsider" role, within the feminist framework, enables the reader to understand that the outsider status, fear of this status, and girls' general outsider status
in comparison to boys is the larger issue. All girls are essentially victimized in this way; in the panic to attain some level of status (again, in comparison to the boys) girls turn on each other. Girls may be singled out and branded for being masculine (called a lesbian: again with its sexual connotations
but with additional social cost) or being fearless and putting themselves in potentially dangerous situations, or expressing interest in sex -- all things that are relegated to the realm of the masculine, and celebrated when exhibited by boys. When girls exhibit these behaviors, they go against the status quo and are judged and punished by their peer group.

One point that is not distinguished by Tanenbaum is the certain type of freedom accorded to girls who have branded others as "slut." These girls are generally doing the same sexual
experimenting as their peers: however, once someone else has been branded as slut, the focus of the peer group has been taken in another direction, leaving them opportunity to do what they want to do without a great deal of fear or recrimination.

As a discussion facilitator, the book, with its "taboo" title and topic, is extremely useful: Tanenbaum's narrative includes many personal accounts which will encourage discussion among
teens in group and classroom settings; her use of popular culture references bring examples home to teens as well as adults; and her informal writing style will be comfortable for teenage girls as well as professionals. Additionally, her thorough appendices assist the reader when looking for
additional materials to give to clients; Appendix B includes information from different sources, including webzines, magazines, organizational contact information, and a range of teaching tools.

For the new professional working with teens, the book is of great importance. Social workers are human (we are!) and as such we may carry our own stereotypes and hidden hurts with us from our own adolescence; whether we were "sluts," "slut-avoiders," or "slut-bashers," this book enables us to view our own experiences, and the experiences of our teenage clients, within a feminist historical perspective. If we haven't come to terms with our own issues about "sluttiness," sexual behavior, and sexual attitudes, how can we expect our clients to do the same?

This book was a gift to me for my unbridal shower. Yes, I celebrated my re-entry into single life with an unbridled un-bridal shower! I put it on my gift-list as a side thought and I am so glad it was selected! I had no idea how powerful it would be to me nor could I have imagined how healing reading it would be. Leora Tanenbaum explores the many reasons in depth that girls pick up this title and the effects it has on on the girl and her peers. Through all of the reasons, one thing remains constant, no woman deserves this title, not the virgins and not the ones who have played around. Not when men are praised for their sexual escapades. The author does not demand that everyone accept promiscuity in women if that is against their personal ethics, rather she insists that the ethics be applies equally to men as they are to women.
A fascinating point in this book is that women's sexuality is a common target when she does not fit in to social "norms" for whatever reason, reguardless of her sexual experiences or lack of. Another issue brought to light is that once labeled a slut, a woman suddenly find herself being treated as though she is subhuman and is often subjected to verbal, physical, and sexual assault while no one will attempt to stop it or punish the offenders. If you have ever been called a slut, known someone who has, lived in fear of being called a slut, or called someone else a slut, read this book! I would bet money if you bought this for the women you love, (once they get over the shock LOL) they will love you for it.

It seems that there are some who have given reviews that have not responded well to this book, and they seem to be rather confused and removed from the argument--citing that those who don't want to be called "sluts" shouldn't behave like "sluts".

Almost every woman I've met, myself included, has been through a time, almost a rite of passage, where she has to prove her chastity to the rest of the world (usually shortly after puberty). This is not something that men have to go through--and more importantly, *will never relate to* due to current power structures. Men are pressured, encouraged, and even harassed into being sluts because this is what it is to be manly.

This book is not about not wanting to be called a slut. It explores the phenomenon of the slut. Why is female chastity such a perceived virtue in Western (specifically American) culture? Why is there such a preoccupation among high-schoolers with others' sexuality? What is it that we fear about female sexuality?

Michel Foucault discusses self-policing in "Discipline and Punish: The Birth of the Prison"--something that we women are brainwashed into doing. Why do we participate in this? We will be (and are) rejected and treated badly if we do anything that remotely suggests we are outside the "chaste box"--i.e., reject current social norms regarding the phenomenon of the slut. "Slut!" explores these issues.

I hope this clarifies some of the questions (or outright rejections) that seem to have been raised. To anyone interested in the sociology of power issues and the discourses of the body, I would highly recommend "Discipline and Punish". It can be a bit dry, but the ideas expressed are certainly worth the read.

Also highly recommended: "The Technology of Orgasm: 'Hysteria', the Vibrator, and Women's Sexual Satisfaction." by Rachel P. Maines.

I thought this book was great. It looks at the double standard that is the slut label in America. A good read for women as well as men.

Has anyone ever stopped to think about the origin of the word "slut"? What is a "slut"? The word really has nothing to do with sex. The author's own story as well as other women's stories in this book had nothing to do with sex. This label that people put on women is really just an insult out of jealousy because of developing early, an outcast, or someone who is confidant in their sexuality. Really it is put on another person out of jealousy. This book is definitly recommended to anyone who has ever been called a slut or just to get more of an idea about the double standards between males and females.

Tanenbaum brilliantly examines how being called a slut has nothing to do with sexual activity. It is the chosen insult of those who see a woman stepping out of her presumed role: be it beauty, culture, dating, etc. A woman can go out on multiple dates and be branded a slut, or can be a virgin who doesn't dress appropriately but is disliked by others and therefore is branded a slut for convenience. Tanenbaum brings in important examples such as the Spur Possee and the Glen Ridge, NJ rape of a mentally retarded girl to explores how assumptions about masculinity and femininity feed this process. When people think calling someone a slut is harmless they are wrong. However, she makes it clear that none of the women who's stories she tells are victims, they triumped!

What an incredible book!! I wish I would've read it when I was a freshman in high school. I wish EVERYONE would've read it when they were freshmen in high school. Upon finishing this book I've forced everyone I know to read it - my best friend, my little sister, my mother and even my boyfriend. It should be required reading for any and all sex ed classes. I feel really, really empowered and I feel really safe and happy knowning that there are a lot of other women (and other women writers) out there who not only understand what I feel and think, but who write about things that I can learn from. Great book.