Customer Reviews

In Small Doses: A Memoir about Accepting and Living with Bipolar Disorder

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From some accounts, one could gain the impression that hypomania and mixed states are not such a big deal: kind of "bipolar lite". Marc Pollard's unflinching account of the march of mental illness through his life should put paid to that notion for good. His "just the facts" approach, which subversively employs some of the skills of his training as an economist, will rattle some of us more than descriptions heavier on the hand-wringing and emotives.

For people with bipolar who might minimize the impact of their behaviors, Pollard offers a stark and repeated demonstration of cause (hyper-criticalness, tone deafness toward and disrespect [especially when warranted] to authority figures, and inappropriate flamboyance [with customers, for instance], over-spending) and effect: constantly annoying and/or enraging others, being fired repeatedly, and bankruptcy, to name a few choice consequences. Hypomania hurts.

The fire of energy and creativity is a seductive aspect both of mania and hypomania. Boredom is the great enemy and stability, supposedly the holy grail, is something desperately sought and energetically resisted. No one has, to my thinking, better explained the paradox of living with the disorer than Marc Pollard.

Thanks, I guess.

(Do I risk being hyper-critical by mentioning that the copy Amazon sent me is missing pages 95-96? Not a big deal, but still...)

Marc:

I must confess that I have had your book for over two months, and had not read one word. This morning, I picked it up at about 7:00 AM, and by 9:00 AM, I had finished it, sometimes chuckling, often in tears, and routinely identifying with much of what you were describing. (At a much lower level of intensity, of course--after all, I had completed my PhD at age 29--all the while and since feeling an imposter). Also, while reading, I never felt that you were self-serving, or tooting your own horn. Rather, I was experiencing you as giving me a great gift. Frankly, one that most mental health professionals are unable to provide--a first hand account and undrstanding of the horrors of depression, social anxiety, and bipolar disorders. My own struggle with depression and bipolar disorder has been extremely benifical in my own work as a psychotherapist. Marc, I am deeply thankful to you for your personal accounting. Your writing style is simple, yet profound. I thank you for your book, and hope that you will continue to "come out."

Mr. Pollard's account of living with BiPolar is nakedly honest and incredibly informative. I'd highly recommend it to anyone who has just been diagnosed, or to those who are interested in learning about the mental illness. It's a great resource that expresses the challenges of day-to-day living from a personal account. A+++

I have type-II bi-polar illness. Hypomania can be exhilarating and damaging. Depression can take away any hope you ever had that life can be worth living. This memoir, however, doesn't do much for me at all. I found that too much of the book was preocuppied with chronicling Mr. Pollard's living arrangements, and not enough was said about what contributed to the frequent changing of them. Mr. Pollard acknowledges that his hypomania has cost him jobs, friends, and finances but not enough is really said about the specific instances. I would have preferred more intimate detail instead of an overview. I did like the areas when the author delves into his childhood and early adulthood perfectionism and over-achieving tendencies, and how those relate to both his depression and his mania. Those were the spots were I felt there was a real connection to be made with the author. The rest (and by that I mean the majority) of the book was too flat for me. If it helps people in their understanding of bi-polar illness, that's great. If it helps a confused bi-polar seek treatment, that's also great. But for my money, if you are looking for a entertaining read about bi-polar, or a medical/personal view point, I would recommend Carrie Fisher's "The Best Awful", or Kay Redfield Jameson's "An Unquiet Mind". Oh, and like the author before me, I had pagination issues, too. But I got extra. Both page 7/8 and page 69/70 are repeated.

In Small Doses provides a helpful real-life view of the negative impact that bipolar disorder can have on a person's career and relationships. Whereas other memoirs tend to use excessive metaphors and analogies to paint colorful descriptions of mania, hypomania, and depression, Mr. Pollard adopts a more succinct, direct approach. The result is a greater emphasis on the challenges that hypomania and depression present for a bipolar person and friends and family.

Mr. Pollard is not afraid to criticize himself for having been hyper-critical of others and quick-to-anger prior to acceptance of his diagnosis. In fact, good examples of poor judgment and of impulsive behavior during episodes of hypomania and mania are given throughout the book. Too many memoirs romanticize or even glamorize the creative energy that stems from mania and hypomania. In contrast, In Small Doses gives a more sobering view of bipolar disorder, a view that will likely resonate with most people that have bipolar disorder.

Under-employment and instability in romantic relationships, both hard to avoid when experiencing up and down cycles, are themes of the memoir. Mr. Pollard further reveals that some mood cycling continues even after a patient has accepted the diagnosis, entered productive psychotherapy, and achieved medication compliance. It is refreshing to find a book that not only emphasizes the downsides of hypomania but also counters the notion that treatment is a panacea.