The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams: Planning Together for Less Stress and More Joy [Paperback]

Judith Sherven (Author), James Sniechowski (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 4, 2005

Each year, millions of couples wed, and millions of relationships — involving brides, grooms, families, and friends — are undermined by power struggles, fights, and stress before the big event arrives. Often overrun by others' demands, couples may be too exhausted to experience the outpouring of love meant for them. Now savvy brides and grooms can turn to The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams. It encourages couples to explore their wedding desires, be realistic about budgets, and be firm in their decisions, and it walks them through practical steps to make these goals a reality. Co-written by two therapists, themselves a happily married team, the book emphasizes recapturing the meaning and joy of the occasion while making informed choices together. Each chapter provides exercises and suggestions to help with specific decisions on vows, location, parents' roles, and more, ultimately showing couples how to express their style while honoring family and religious traditions. These decision-making skills also help establish a precedent for a long and happy marriage.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"This is the perfect pre-wedding gift for a couple planning an event that should be a source of joy and excitement, but is often a source of stress, anxiety, frustration, and even rage. Filled with practical and inspiring suggestions for creating a wedding celebration that joyfully expresses the souls of the two participants, this guide infuses its subject with psychological realism and a subtle tone of unsentimental spirituality." - Nathaniel Branden, PhD, author of The Art of Living Consciously

"From 'Popping the Questions' to 'The Honeymoon' and everything in between, this book covers it all! It arrived just in time for our son and future daughter-in-law to plan the wedding of their dreams!" - Charlie Bloom, co-author of 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married

"I read the book in one sitting. When I finished, I jumped in my car to take it to my son's house, so he and his fiancée wouldn't go one more day of their wedding planning without this heart-felt, practical guide." - Linda Bloom, co-author of 101 Things I Wish I Knew When I Got Married

"This book is a joy to read from cover to cover. Every bride AND groom needs to read it so they can enjoy planning their wedding while also building the basis for the success of their future marriage." - Susan Jeffers, PhD, author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and The Feel the Fear Guide to Lasting Love

"This is a beautiful and sensible book. Drs. Judith and Jim have outlined a remarkable blueprint that will save couples a lot of time and money. The spiritual principles will help them to create deeper intimacy as they transition from 'twoness' to 'oneness.'" - Dr. Grace Cornish, bestselling author of The Sacred Bond: 7 Spiritual Truths to Recognize and Marry Your Very Own Soul Mate, Drcornish.com

"This practical, helpful book guides couples through perhaps the most important event of their lives to date, and makes the experience more joyful then imagined." - Brian Tracy, author of Your Own Future

"This absolutely great book is a fascinating, readable, and wise blend of romance and practicality! Judith and Jim give just the right guidance and support for couples planning a marriage - or for that matter - planning a life together. From the earliest considerations of engagement to the end of the honeymoon, this book is an amazing gift to those couples who want to make their marriage and their lives reflect their souls." - Sidra Stone, PhD, and Hal Stone, PhD, co-creators of Voice Dialogue and authors of Partnering: A New Kind of Relationship and Embracing Our Selves

"Practical, prescient, precious. Judith and Jim have created a wedding masterpiece!" - Pat Love, EdD, author, The Truth about Love

"Utilizing real couples' stories and their own rich experiences, Judith and Jim brilliantly lead you through the rocky terrain of getting married; from pre-engagement considerations to the wedding day and beyond. Throughout, they act as the little voice in your head gently urging you to be true to yourself by planning a ceremony that will genuily reflect the bond between you and your beloved. I will, without hesitation, recommend this book to all my nervous brides-to-be." Farah Husain, bridal makeup artist

"The wedding market is flooded with 'how to' books - planners that all say essentially the same thing. Finally, here is a new, different, and interesting approach. This is a book for the modern couple, reflecting a growing trend for the groom's involvement. It recognizes that wedding planning today can be - should be - the beginning of a life together." - Gerard J. Monaghan, president, Association of Bridal Consultants

"Too often, men are encouraged to leave the wedding planning to their fiancées - with the result that their weddings and their marriages suffer. From a refreshing and very inspiring point of view, Judith and Jim reveal why it's essential for the bride and groom to plan their wedding together. This book establishes the template for weddings of the future." - Melissa Wilt, public policy analyst, Men's Health Network, Washington, DC

"As a wedding gown designer whose main concern is that the bride receive maximum value, I applaud Judith and Jim's practical, enthusiastic guide showing the wedding couple how to maximize the value and meaning of every aspect of their journey into marriage. This is a must read for every bride and groom and all the people who love them." - Madeline Gardner, designer of bridal gowns, Mori Lee LLC

"In my nineteen years as a wedding photographer, I've seen too many brides miss out on the spiritual and romantic magic that a wedding should be about. So I am thrilled to recommend this book because it can rescue all future brides from making the same mistake. This book is destined to become the bible for creating truly fabulous and deeply meaningful weddings." - Wilson Pinilla, president and CEO, Pinilla Photography and Video Inc.

"This book is hard to put down! Filled with invaluable information, it's everything a couple needs to plan their wedding and their life together." -Richard Markel, president, Association for Wedding Professionals International and founder, Bridal Show Producers International

"If only one person makes all of the decisions about the wedding, it stands to reason that that person will be burdened with making most of the decisions in the marriage. Judith and Jim give couples the tools to discover what matters most to them for their ceremony and its various celebrations opening the door to rich communication, which is the basis for a strong marriage." - Julia Markel, vice-president, Association for Wedding Professionals International

Product Details

• Paperback: 231 pages
• Publisher: New World Library (November 4, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1577313410
• ISBN-13: 978-1577313410
• Product Dimensions: 8.4 x 5.5 x 0.9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #796,314 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars When your husband-to-be doesn't want to be a bit player at his own wedding, November 9, 2006

By 

Lisa Rothstein "The DaVinci Coach" (los angeles, CA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams: Planning Together for Less Stress and More Joy (Paperback)

I'm in my 40s and getting married for the first--and only--time in a few months. My fiance was feeling a little left out of the planning process, so I bought 2 copies of this book, one for him and one for myself. It's been a great discussion tool, and we've both made lots of notes all over the pages. The book covers the details of wedding planning but with a focus on keeping the relationship and the meaning of the celebration central. No matter what other planning guides you own -- and you will need others that do go bananas over flowers and bridesmaids' dresses if that's your thing, and God knows there are plenty of them out there-- please pick up a copy, or two, of this one. It lets you convert the stress and commericalism of planning your wedding into a relationship-deepening experience.

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars The Real Deal on Weddings & Marriage, September 25, 2006

By 

Lynn C. Tolson "author of Beyond the Tears: A... (Colorado) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams: Planning Together for Less Stress and More Joy (Paperback)

As relationship trainers, motivational speakers, and workshop leaders, the authors of this book have credentials. Drs. Sherven & Sniechowski wrote Be Loved for Who You Really Are (St. Martin's Press, 2003), The New Intimacy (Health Communications, 1997), and Opening to Love 365 Days a Year (Health Communications, 2000). Married since 1988, they also have the personal experience of marriage longevity in the difficult-to-navigate labyrinth of relationships. Their co-authored book, The Smart Couple's Guide has personality as well as practical advice.
Divided into fifteen chapters, Drs. Sherven & Sniechowski thoroughly discuss aspects of the wedding plan. The authors offer true-life cases from hundreds of couples as examples of those who chose to plan their wedding together. These examples are used in a variety of settings: from "Popping the Question" to "To Change Names, or Not." Dispersed throughout the book are insights from the authors' own co-created wedding. The authors even research the history behind wedding customs, yet empower the wedding couples to co-create their specific style of wedding according to the themes and traditions of their own choosing.
The Smart Couple's Guide...is not a wedding planner, but a useful source of suggestions that illustrate how a couple can plan their wedding (and marriage) together. The authors state: "By living out your commitment as a couple throughout the planning process, you will experience new possibilities and new levels of awareness." Pre-marital relationship building skills is a main theme of the book; the authors cite values such as honesty and integrity as the foundation of the wedding, not the number of tiers on the cake or names on the invitations. To strengthen those skills, the authors give the reader questionnaires regarding "The Ten Key Issues of Married Life" and "Financial Truth."
Whether it is the reader's first or fourth marriage, whether the reader is age thirty or seventy, The Smart Couples Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams is a must-read prior to the "big day." After all, the wedding day is a step into the maze of marriage. This book will steer the reader by offering clarity and reality to the couple as they journey together.
review by Lynn C. Tolson

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Finally a book for the bride AND groom!, December 5, 2005

By 

Arthur C. Klein "Author" (Upstate New York) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: The Smart Couple's Guide to the Wedding of Your Dreams: Planning Together for Less Stress and More Joy (Paperback)

In a copycat world of imitating successful books -- the millionth weight-loss book, the umpteenth reassuring guide for anxious brides -- Drs. Sherven and Sniechowski have filled a void by treating both men and women, brides and grooms, as co-partners. It may be heresy to say that the white-attired princess on the white horse is no longer the only star of the wedding process, but it's a long-awaited heresy that meshes beautifully with today's reality -- the reality that the vast majority of men and women who marry DO share in the wedding process. This book is for those sharers, those individuals determined to be partners before their wedding, during their wedding and for the rest of their lives.

This utterly indispensable book for married-couples-to-be will do wonders for lowering the divorce rate. Always supportive, never condescending, consistently lovingly and personal from first page to last, here is a book for every couple thinking about a wedding and for every person who knows a couple with marital plans.